They tell us to live our lives
but they give us so little time to do just that
placed under the constant constraint of rules and laws
how is that living?
living is to be free
but there is no time for that.
living is to be alive in all ways
but they give us no time for that.
when life stops my ticking clock,
will i be satisfied?
satisfied with every tick mark,
every minute on that clock,
because in those minute marks
are countless nights of fun, laughter, and heartbreak,
in those minutes,
I lived.
but will the minutes i spent doing what i was told to do,
or even made to do take over?
will they outweigh the times i was truly free?
will any of it matter?
if only i could stop my ticking clock to go back and count,
count and get an overall calculation.
but i keep living.
never stopping until my clock stops.
no time to go back.

Reese’s Pieces are for people who
Are used to picking up the pieces
Of broken hearts
But they still want to make it
A good experience
Smiles that look like peanut butter
And kisses that taste like chocolate

Butterfingers are for the kids who
Are used to being picked last for
Everything except to cheat off of
In math class
They’ve grown accustomed to
Not being thought of

Popular kids like the M&Ms;
Because in the end
What else do they have except
For the stories of muses
And the parties they attended
One-by-one they picked apart
Everyone who didn’t act just like them

Pop Rocks are terrible and
So are Peppermint Patties

Crunch bars and 100 Grand’s
Made the jocks think they would actually
Go somewhere and do something
With their lives
Hope comes in strange forms
Monkeys don’t know the difference

Kit-Kats are for the hipsters
Talking a little too loud about mustaches
Listening to music that nobody knew
Grouping around vegan lunch tables
They would break off one by one
When another clique accepted them

Anything made by ***** Wonka
Was a favorite of the kids who
Knew who they were and
Weren’t ashamed

After all, what does candy say
About any of us
Clothes and shoes
Were only disguises
To hide us from the world we
Desperately wanted to fit into
If you had a Five Star notebook
Started mattering a lifetime too soon

When I step into the convenience store
I picture the kids that I know
Because of the candy they ate
I regret having such a sweet tooth
To pick apart kids’ lives
With nothing to satisfy the bitter
After-taste of social humiliation

Reasons why I am going to Europe:

I am going to Europe because I am nineteen— almost twenty— years old and, for some reason, I am expected to have my entire life planned and ready to go. I am expected to go to college, get a degree which will give me above-minimum wage pay, possibly meet a boy. Date this boy on and off (as well as a few others) during my early twenties, get drunk a few times, maybe do some drugs, marry someone when I turn twenty six. Have two kids. Pay my mortgage, plan to travel when I am older. Pay my student loans. Do yoga on the weekends.

No thank-you.

I am nineteen— almost twenty— years old, and for some reason, I have no idea what I want to do with myself. I went to college for a major in English with a teaching license— I hated it. I tried to **** myself three times. So here, I am, working at Food Lion, running around the woods, drinking Gin and blood orange juice on a Monday night, with no plan. And I am happy. I am going to Europe because what else would I be doing with myself? I am going to Europe because I want to wake up in a hostel with someone else’s shirt on, the smell of salt on my skin, and the taste of wine in my mouth

. I am going to Europe because I don’t want my greatest thrill in life to be going to Whole Foods one Saturday of the month to buy nice wine and a quality meat only to watch the travel channel and hope for places I will go to ‘someday’. I am going to Europe because why can’t ‘someday’ be today?


I am going to Europe because I may get lost in a market place, in a bottle of Absinthe, in the arms of an Italian man, in the bottom of a bottle of sweet Moscato, in a pub in Ireland, in the mouth of a french girl, in a German forest, and that will be alright. I am going to Europe because my feet itch, and my soul is thirsty. I am going to Europe because sometimes it feels like the world is only as big as your home-town, and that is only an illusion that needs to be cured.

another night amongst the brightest stars
alift in navy sky
and she who owns the moon's white rays
takes too, with her, my love

another night beneath the clouds
in dance, in silken, fluid flight
bare feet collide on shadowed grass
warm arms embrace amidst cool air

to kiss in tree branches, far above
to touch the universe with extended wings
and hold this girl, who bears my love
in one last caress below the watching sky.

12 Ways Of Looking At Constancy

I

I look into the sea of starry eyed witnesses
and I see one constant
face, you.

II

I was born of beating lungs,
like the spine of my favorite novel
which remains constant and pure to my every desire.

III

Falling, falling, falling.
looking up at the constancy that is the sun and the moon and the sky.

IV

4+4= a number
a number= 5,677
my numbers remain constant
and jumbled and forever confused.

V

I don’t understand why or who or where,
the nature of two and two together
the nature of knowing
the nature of my record player radiating Bob Dylan
the nature of remaining constant.

VI

In the spring I wear my rain boots,
with the socks pulled up to my knee.
In the summer I wear my hiking books
with the dirt and the blood and the sweat on my knees.
In the winter I wear fuzzy boots that keep my toes and
calfs and brain constantly warm. In the fall I get confused.
I sit and think and the weather doesn't remain constant.
I can wear whatever boots I want. I don’t like that.


VII

Oh you stupid people!
Why must you eat apple shaped hearts
and slur your words?
Do you not understand the necessity of constancy that
runs through your veins every second of every day?

VIII

I do not know what runs through your veins.
I know, I know of high strung men.
I know the sound of the pitter patter rain drops on my roof.
But of everything I know, I know it will all remain
constant.
Whilst I held my palms together to see the white marks appear,
I saw it.
one of a thousand constant shadows.

IX

Seven black shadows.
That is all it took
to see what really mattered right now.
Especially when the man of men
stood before me and told me to remain constant.

X

She picked up her glass slipper
She woke up from a single kiss
She fell in love with the monstrous looking man
She bit deeply into the apple
they constantly make me wish for more.
As if everything was truly this way.

XI

We fell in love.
You were constantly mine for a short period of time.

XII

It was night time all morning,
I wore my rain boots and I played in the sun
It was sunny all day
constantly sunny.
My willow tree provided the slightest bit of shade.