Inside the back of a cigarette pack where a picture card sat I read about Mafeking and Cathay,
I saw 'Grace' with his bat and 'Miranda's fruit hat,steam ships and trains, which monarchs reigned,butterflies and stars,the age of the cars,airplanes and costumes,fruits and legumes,flowers and trees,birds of paradise which pleased me,pictures which teased me,
and all of this sat in the back of a pack
of cigarettes.

I still have
the note you wrote,
kissed with your raspberry lipstick,
licked with your bedtime ink.

For years, left to dry
in a drawer, inhaling the dark,
I found it, like a stale apple,
blushing yellow.

I understand the words now,
the loops, the curves, a fairground ride,
that's what we were
before the carpet scorched our knees.

Did you keep the one
that I wrote you?
No, maybe, torn at the top
and stuffed somewhere.

I let your message breathe again,
swallow the days,
this red stain rages upon my eyes,
a note with no writer, how it all fades.

She’s the kind of beautiful that made
Narcissus self-conscious in the first place

She captures the world on film
I capture her on my memory
I wouldn’t mind if I used
all the film I had on her

Her smile tells you it’s OK
To be yourself
Because we all doubt ourselves
Undeservedly

Walking in the night with her is
The most illuminating experience
I’ve never had my own sun
To revolve around

Being her reason to laugh makes me consider
Betrayal to the beauty of silence

Your heaven has failed me
On the days when I felt loading up the dish washer was a
Personal assault on my psyche
Your god has-
Run me over with his fists too many times
And made me believe it was paternal pat’s on the back
All the-
Pain I was feeling,
You carry the gravel in your teeth
To make sure its full of grit,
When you speak,
I say;
“you’re full of ****”

You say im just weak for the things
That have made me unholy.
I am weak for the things that have unbroken me.
These words are shrapnel
You let them sink into our skin there is no more dirt to chew
I will spend my last moments
Holding onto the ******* noose
I’m going down swinging
And if that means I’ll hang
So be it
There are worst ways to die

I know
Because I’ve died before

Nothing special happens. Ya’ll can stop dreaming.

Kindness isn’t supposed to taste so bitter
Being saved
Isn’t supposed to hurt so much
You-
Never knew how much the night sky despised the daylight
Until you moved to a country where it gets longer every year
You never knew how kind
The sun was to your skin-
Ive got tan lines where my noose used to swing
It took me three years to untie myself
And I still have scars

Whether they will be there or not in a few more years
I guess ill stick around and see just
How much ive
lost