I’ve been in love  
With more things than I care to count.  
I fell for the sky the moment I realized the city hides it’s stars.  
I fell for that picture, because it was easy to love a moment.  
I fell for iced tea, because it refreshed me.  
I’ve never tried to hide things about myself.  
Never thought it better to keep things secret.  
I kept one.  
It was something I’d refused to feel.  
Everything I never wanted.  
To ashamed to want.  
It was a person.  
It was a boy.  
I think I fell in love  
But whose to say what it actually was.
I mean for God’s sake.
I fell for tea, just because it kept me cool.  
I’ve fallen for wind, and hands, and rings, and poems, and walls.
I’ve fallen for everything, because I’d always wanted to feel.  
Never needed to heal something that was broken.  
Because I never broke.  
I avoided falling for humans, because being rejected.  
It wasn’t an option for me.  
Putting up a front when it came to others, was easy.  
Everything else was easy.
Loving was easy, when they couldn’t love back.  
The first time I fell in love. Wasn’t the first time I loved.  
The first time I fell in love, was the first time I broke  
I think people assume that I hold on to everything.  
Because I remember alot.  
I think people assume I’m a *****.  
Because I probably am.  
I'd had a heart accustomed to feeling remorse for friends, never myself.  
A heart used to feeling for others, not feeling what others felt.
I never cried. Never shed a tear.  
Maybe I should have, because maybe it would have been all I needed.  
Something small broke me.
But my body never cracked. Just my heart.  
I grew small, because I was angry.  
I was capable of being large, because I loved to love.  
Things.  
Not always people.
I was forgiven.  
But I don't think I was loved  
I hope you’ve fallen for something.  
Whether it be a painting, or a mirror, or a mouth.  
I hope you’ve fallen for something.  
Because falling for something  
Was always easier than falling for someone.

Golden pulse grew on the shore,
Ferns along the hill,
And the red cliff roses bore
Bees to drink their fill;

Bees that from the meadows bring
Wine of melilot,
Honey-sups on golden wing
To the garden grot.

But to me, neglected flower,
Phaon will not see,
Passion brings no crowning hour,
Honey nor the bee.

Ive 'nunquam magis sentiuntur solus* is Latin for
                                 I've never felt more alone.

I only learned Latin because
For some reason, I think that if I say things in the root of most languages,
I'll find most of the roots to these feelings.
But... Cogitationes strangulatus.
It's funny. Saying "thoughts stifle" in latin, merely sounds like cognitive strangles.
                                Not that it's any different, really.
It just sounds so much more like what I want it to be.
The English language has a hard time
Catching the depth of things
without sounding like it's trying too hard.
I want to be able to say something once, just once,
and be done with it.
To stop ruminating on you and find peace knowing that when I say
Reliquum aliud nihil est dicere
I don't just mean "there's nothing left to say."
I mean that *I've said everything I needed to say.

he grabbed shards of my skin
bone fragments scattered throughout the grass
leftover scraps of intestines and various other guts
the wiry strands of my veins
my faintly-beating heart

sitting cross-legged along the bank of the river
stringing me back together with superglue and ligaments
warmth and contentment

I thought it would pass
This enchantment am under.
longing for you everyday
Yearning for something out of my reach.

I drowned it out with music
loud brash beats
Somehow became a melody
slow haunting and nostalgic.
I cried myself to sleep.

How do you live alone
Knowing you can't have love
Cause it's a shameless flirt
Dancing out of arm's reach
Wearing a coy hard to get smile.

I am besieged
by the pain of emptiness
Troubled by the despair of loneliness
for it's you I want
and yet you only appear in dreams
making me wake in a hollow symphony
More alone with the knowledge
Of you're surreal parting.

There has always been a problem
With the way my relationships
End up
And only now have I realized
What the problem is
I always give so much
Without even realizing it
Maybe too much
They always say
“You make me a better person,
You’re my better half”
But I can never say the same
They feed off me
I’m an energy source
And then when it ends
It makes it all the worse for them
I am too extreme for them
I want the roles to be reversed
I want to feed off someone for once
I think I deserve that
After having to put up with
Bat **** crazy

when life was simple
and everything seamed new
but in time
people tell you all is not true
and as a kid
I stood and cry'ed, at this
**** you are gay
but I still love you
but not in your way
so rock and roll.