Through rays you touched me
Burning my skin
Changing my color to crimson
Where once I worshipped
I now live in shadows
impulsively muttering your words

To see is to defeat

Though few make it out alive...
and I can feel all these splinters sinking into my mind
As I try to resist the temptation and habit
slipped to me by some pesky rabbit
What of my mind?
Was it ever my own?

This reality is just a dream
in which one can change and reshape
the way they percieve
anytime they should choose

I've come to realize this

The error of my ways
I cant say sorry anymore
I can only hope you wait
for me
while I work on this

You bring this out of me
the thoughts that could change
everything
unfortunately we share the growing
pains

My dream is to find happiness
first on my own
and then with you
I cant rely on you for this

I should've never looked to you
in the first place for self fufillment
a childish outlook and expectance
I will not ask for forgiveness

Just stick around
and we'll get through this
I regret pushing you away...
I mustn't make the same mistakes

It starts with a bubbling feeling
that fills then over flows
your cords start vibrating
your stomach knots and hurts
as you slap your knee
and threat urinating
toppled over in a joyous
social transaction
one that turns awkard to ease
and crippling pain into soulful healing
The greatest act to share with someone who cares
There's lots of magic in the little moments spent lost in uncontrolable laughter

Crisp air envelopes my lungs
and I breathe deeply taking in August's monologue
I fade into Summer's passing song
Holding tightly to the moment and every loving thought
because too soon it will be gone
The grass beneath my feet tickles my playful nature
Where once as a young hopeful observer my toes knew the sensation
Intimately
I am morphing into a different breed
As cunning as a fox
I let the fear displace and grace the day with curiosity
and ambitious velocity
Ready for anything and everything to come my way
No longer waiting
I'm joining the chase

I am envious of the way you laugh at your own decay
The way you don't keep time nor race
You grace each day without hesitation
Living within the moments straying away from the anxieties of anticipation
Keeping steady pace
Never overthinking the little things that cause such grief and dismay
There's such beauty in your way
You dream of the future without condemning yourself today
I long to learn from that mind frame
For it resembles perfection and transfers influential sway

He is a strong and mysterious  phenomenon
possessing a magnetism captivated in awe
Alluring and indispensable
I wavered in irrestible charm

His touch is like a sensual dream
much too rare to be a reality
his primal way made it impossible to restrain
and I found myself howling at the moon
beckoning to ode to wolf

His voice just like a whisper
ears keen to the sound
I'm falling yet never hitting the ground
I was held prisoner within his gaze
I watched his lips
mind lost in haze

Eager to be freed from his intensity
my body strained from the immensity
I fell victim under his spell
I could barely breath
inhale...exhale...

He grinned as he sensed infallible frailty
A merciful beast he walked away
and I transformed to suit my need
and continued on howling

Consumed and unleashed

Who am I?
I am the Skeptic type,
Surfacing placid as each side creates waves,
Pulling on heart strings for their own self ameliorate,
Heated controversy focusing on Health care, Religion,
and Hunger debates,
Inevitably resulting in ******* up charges for war to undertake.

Equality's repercussions leaving our freedoms at stake,
While inflating our Economy
only the rich take the cake,
Consistently keeping the poor at bay,
One resolution would be to properly educate.

Before you sell into the poison they produce to control and degenerate,
Look into the disputes staged to manipulate,  
Open your eyes and see we're being left with no other options but to obey,
For when they deny you your right to bear arms The Constitution goes up in a fury of flames,
As we sit back and watch as they replay the tape.

I am free yet I am caged,
Caressing the bars of black and white mind frames,
Constructed to destroy thought and leave the masses divided
in a collective state of confusion as their questions remain,
I no longer associate with my neighbors today.

Empathy is a far cry full of ache,
Frayed by the misconception that lives are part of a game,
Monopolies and greed breed nothing but hate,
As a silenced homeless Veteran plays his violin drowning in pain.

We're left searching for some kind of circumvent,
In a country that prides itself upon convenience,
Our golden gates are not always what they seem,
If born into poverty your chances can seem some what foreboding.

Think of the future aside from your own
and find hope in opportunities for the much needed change we all see and know,
With so many imperative predicaments there is plenty of room for growth,
Obstacles only providing the likelihood to overcome and to approach ,
For strength does not accumulate for those who are not familiar with struggle,
With all these unresolved culminations there is plenty to live and fight for despite your troubles.

The sun sets
Leaving whispers of the days events
The night brings freedom and enchantment
It is your time to dream and relinquish encumbrance
No longer hindered by obligations
May you rest
In a guilt free slumber and peaceful meditations
Meet the dawn in your boldest form
and take a moment to appreciate plus adore
The gift of another sunrise
Because everyone eventually dies

A part of me was always silently hoping and wishing for loves return.
Before I learned - then unlearned - only to lessen once more.

I chased the vision you inspired until my feet bled.

I still can't tell if it was you or me - that I sought after ever so desperately. I just know your face helped me to see - everything I ever wanted to be.

Hearing the shaking palms reminds me of a steady rain - the smell of petrichor envelops my senses - as the tides come crashing through each wave of pain. I can taste the salt in the air - imprisoned by this eternal longing - left with a dare.

In complete and utter disarray she woke in pain to greet the day
Shaken by the violent sound of a silence that was too profound
Night and day there were faint whispers of what couldn't change
as she lay bewildered
While vivid memories placed a shroud upon her tired sweaty brow
Suffocated by the ache she chased a shot with hopes to obliterate
It takes three to remember and five to forget
That unrelenting grief that plagued her head
She swore such strength
She swore she'd love to mend the wounds left by wicked hunters
But too soon her blood had left her pale
and as the warmth rushed in she let out a long exhale

Seldom do we recognize
the importance of communication
A very simple resolution
Empathy could change the world
Alittle understanding could end a war
A true man isn't afraid of his feelings
his heart inhereit in all his dealings

With clarity and understanding there's no need to fight nor work out of spite
Peace is held in the moment we realize we have so little time
Matters of dispute perish in this collective state
That we will all leave this place in the exact same way
The great
The weak
The bleak
We all one day will become obsolete
It's time we connect and practice empathy
Love is the ultimate and only true prosperity

The waves of music flow
like smoke through the rays of sunlight
peaking in the shades
It twirls and curls like my hips as they sway
and all I can do is gaze upon the ceiling
Feeling bold although I have nothing to hold
nor to call my own
Reality slips and fades
in my heart I am a bird freed from it's cage
Flying high on a song of hope that plays
Repetitiously
to distract me from the dismay silence brings
inevitably
Sweet tones ring out in heavenly peace
Creating a beautiful outlet of release

You reached for my hand
and I bowed my head
it'd take too much energy to touch you
and although we are both forsaken
I'd rather face cold rejection
Then stand beside you
You're merely a reminder
of the constant abrupt change derailing my life
and yes I work out of spite and harbor resentment
more than the next crossed lass I'm guessing
I just cant give in to a lie
a trick
and happiness isn't built upon shame and illness
So when I caught cupid pinching my ***
you best believe my hoof gave him quite the blast
never say never?
...never with you

Corruption invades for unlawful gains
and lies are scripted so eloquently and fluidly
trickling down on you and me
Our eyes full of mouthwash
as exhausted history repeats
and like a lost little lamb
I dont know what to believe

Twisting around my neck
My weakness
Cutting oxygen to my wit
I fall face first into your grip

Only if for a night
Just one more delight and spite
So obsolete I ignite
Dancing like a puppet in flames

Collecting regret while painting roses
Red were my cheeks when I met the mirror
Reduced to a pile of ash
Remaining faceless

Round and Round we go
On this merry go round
riding our horses
feeling alittle ill

I turn to the operator to find
a snarling beast
I pleaded with him to stop
but he cant seem to understand
compassion

Higher and higher we fly
on this jet plane
always trying to reach a new altitude
or esteem
but the machine is failing and compromised

Faster and Faster we race
in elegant cars
to reach the finish line first
oh we want to win!

Our tires are spinning but
we've only reached desert
so we continue barking until
another bone is thrown
a new elegant car

We keep yelling and yelling
crying and dying
seeking help for these deep seeded tramas
and with the trusted gentle voice we hired
once again we agree to sedation

In all honesty
The truth doesnt set any one free
we are comfortably imprisoned
and controlled
always barking for another bone

Misconstrued and misguided,
the small minded blindsided,
by the devil who crept through the back door.
Ignored or mistaken for the things you adore,
the thrill that kills any trace of will.
A siren tricking the mind to hearing silence
at alarming stakes.
It all makes me shake with rage,
for it's hate that's been my saving grace,
because I know the results of stolen faith.

Streaking across my window, reflecting light from dripping chill. My breath fogs my vision - I close my eyes - and feel so, still. The patter echoes along my edges as the grey gives way to blue. Caught up in your atmosphere - I bet you never knew.

A silent seducing moment
Carved out of struggle
*** can't tame her desires
She's hungry for something else from her lover
Hidden away in her chest of pain she plots
A happily ever after
Knowing full well that he would never deliver
She let go and plunged the blade into his eardrum
and asked so sweetly
Can you hear me now?

As if the sun had rose for the first time
I witnessed the beauty of a day beckoning and bursting with light
Awakening and coaxing my feet
Urging me on
Dismissing the darkeness that once consumed and committed me
With open eyes the questions are endless and I realised how much of a child's mind
posesses my growing wit
I try to expell the corruption and injustice to breath freely if only for a moment
Craving the euphoria nature aptly offers free and full of grace
I ponder her deep waters and ceaseless wind
Trees like towers wave off and hypnotizes
Simplicity is now becoming a great friend
Taming my wild mind
I am clawing at temptation and I must force my will to break this
Who am I without this twisted warping sickeness
I try so hard to decipher this
but only time can reveal the true stasis

Time - endlessly flowing - formless, fluid, and in the absence of context. The more I dip my fingers into passive meaning - the more my skin gives way - scars - loosens it's grip. She takes - then gives everything - as she ebbs then floods her possibilities - teasing - invoking. I lose the meanings - unlearn the rhymes - forget to remember - in a sea of melancholy, enchantment, longing - pain. I embrace her wholly and reject her simultaneously - she's just a concept - too surreal. Is anything that is thought or felt real?

The ants feasted upon the rotting fruit
As the Bluebirds soared high
Sweet Turtledoves and Monarch butterflies
could be seen in the fermenting toxicity
and I thumbed through the *******
curiously
In fear and breathless
With a sickening touch of insanity

Contrary to what is believed
To double think
Undress your mind to it's vulnerability
Outside the realm of possibility
Where one can see
Tickled grey
with inconclusive concepts
Frayed practice
Impulse bandits
turning the axles
Mirror me neuron
Mirror me

Wells overflow
due to black stars
Wishes falling flat
Leaving traces of tire marks
Fate treads upon a corpse
and I wonder how long I have
to play dead
Before this mauling stops
Fight or Flight
I'll surely depart
what a shame
to fancy the otherside
of the moon

The words caught on the tip of my tongue
Where they'd hang desperately
Never to see the light of day
but easily traced in fluttering eyes and sweaty palms
All those things I should have said crease my forehead
Time only carving them deeper

To exhaust a point to a place where there is no more wonder
Only sweat blood and tears
Pushing vigorously forward
Despite all fear and what has been told
Feeling bold

Kneading this knot
Till it unfolds
To keep movement
with less pain
To gain the bread

Working to maintain a life
Now spent
In search of some kind of meaning for it

Day in and day out
Repetitious routines
Fighting to find some kind of happiness
Found or so it seemed

Knowing that much of what we hold
is never held
So much is borrowed
For temporary spells

Fooling ourselves

The paths we ride
Should be walked and taken in stride
With tiny baby steps and endless wonder
With eyes keen to detail never sunken and sullen
I'll walk into the unknown
Keeping pace but never moving too quickly

Bring me a piece of your heart
and I'll write you a poem
for better or worse
Forever its yours

As I rest my weary head upon my pillow
your scent still clinging to me
I need your arms so desperately
to warm and comfort me
All worry disappears in the embrace of those
sweet arms
Forgetting troubling times and the hurt
held in these scars
come with me into this night
sooth the rageing seas with in me
Fight the dawn and keep it from
bringing on these troubling days
stay with me forever in this darkness

It's the swift wind that caresses your shoulders
and leaves your hair standing
An excitement you can't quite decipher
Whether good or weather bad

A voice that plays tricks
and flicks the light in your attic
The voice of god or fellow man?
Judgment day or just a scare?

Even our struggles invoked harmony and understanding
The pain we've suffered and shared sang out epiphanies
Bringing out legacies
Moments that reminded me incessantly
To live as though there were no tomorrow
To seize each day and make it my own
To stand for what truly matters and sit no more
To never be told and learn to be bold
If anyone wonders how I am living now
I'm living as though everything I love is buried in the ground
Digging my way out of this unspeakable distress
Turning the pages to write something epic

I scrubbed away at their plates
I need new forks and knives
I tore up the white carpet
that was made to be stained
that once kept me occupied and distracted
The mess had me wasting my time
My arms reaching for more than this design
For now I've come to see
that this is not my destiny
I am far from a 50's house wife
No matter how much I was denied
By my own doing or theirs
I will rise and bare a new name
I aim to gain
I want to build
yet I fear I'll be killed by my own tools
If like me they recognize

My eyes are in need of an emergency shower
For they have been contaminated
My mind is in need of a coffee filter
Lest I consume the grinds
and deter myself from the benefits of waking
The goal is elevation
I crave liberation

Cat-like she pranced across the allyes
her vibrations purred as she shied away from the street lights
On nights like these she always felt like an outsider
a different breed
hunting
so fragile yet so devious
she was surely a temptress with a hidden agenda
out to ****
for no reason
other than her own pleasure

I see you
and the moments pass so quickly
I take hold as you slip away
Time is tricky
Forever in a day
A day can last forever
All that's left is to remember
I begin to play with the clock's levers
Out of control
Too bold
Too desperate
I just want you now
Now that it's passed
Why can't I grasp impermanence?
Denying the ticks of illusions
Explosive tears can't drain this longing
This sense of belonging
Take some more of my breath
Plus the hours I've spent pondering transitory periods
It's my curse and the curse of most women
Holding onto fairytales
From childhood dreams
Of princesses and thieves
My hearts been stolen from my sleeve
and hung out to bleed
Watch as the blood hits my paper
and savor your conquer
As I wonder aimlessly  
Aging painfully

Naked body scanners
Internal checkpoints
Peaceful protesters maced
GMO unlabeled
Depopulation through vaccination
Half of America under sedation
..I can barely stomach today's headlines

When your woos left you with woes
Your repercussions echoed extreme
Armed by the past
You placed your bet on the guilty
But I am no prisoner of my yesterdays
and I'll bid up because I wont be blamed
It brings me no joy
This irrelevant fight
This endless gamble
This darkened knight
Even if I won you still wont be mine
Which is why we're both screaming in the first place

Like a girl
I clung to your sleeve  
Holding your hand as we crossed the street
and you spoon fed me during breakfast
( I have to confess how much I ******* hated that)
As I'd listen to your latest business accomplishments
In complete and utter indifference
But when it came to my turn to speak
You disregarded it serving me another bite to eat
Interrupting me
My words can't escape a mouthful of spoiled, slighted, belittled, moves
The truth of what you thought of me was defined
Clear as day and as black as night
It was once benign but now I'm infuriated and livid inside
I spat my chewed bits back on the table where we'd dine
And left without speaking a word
Do you think he paid it any mind?
If you do you are absurd
He didn't even hear me walk out the front door
I had prince charming waiting outside
I bid thee Farewell
And I'll pray for you

My feet urged me on
as the wind fought against my will
and forced tears from my eyes
A passing face resembling yours
had me back tracking and
I stared back at the ghostly figure
Realizing my mind was playing tricks on me
My pace quickened hastily
The blackened Sea rushing in beside me
I allow the waves of emotion to recede
Back into the deepest part of me
Burying them in the sands of time
Knowing that the tale will forever be engraved in mind
A scar that can be spied in my manner with a well trained eye
A weakness not so easily disguised tho I try
and with my heart on my sleeve I drifted out to sea with no
life jacket to keep me from drowning
At that point I thought it easier than living
For an emotion that's so glorified adorned in beauty
It surely cuts deeper than hating ever could
Leaving you wondering which of the two is the greater evil?

I no longer try to impress
I digress
Hoping that what is left unspoken highlights significance

You could be completely faithless
I'd like to think there's some reason for my presence
You're far more simple than me
I foolishly try to win your appease
Even though I know you wish I'd praise on my knees

Your ego leaves you thinking you are godly
To me you reek of voluminous folly
I am left begging for acquiescence

Communications fail and lessen to flattery and Superficiality
I want you to love me

Though I cant be sure on my own behalf I'd implore the same
It doesn't feel like a game though I expect I am being played

I wont falter to your narcissistic ways
We fight until the passion leaves us in a haze
It makes me feel alive when I oppose you and gain such a stance
It beats watching the latest televised programs

If it came down to you or I
I'd surely die to save your life
That has to mean something

Spare me the moves
of a sligh tongue twisting
and contorting vague riddles
excuses of promises left undone
wit misused as the shadow's gun
a sad recollection when the problem was solved
a web of lies a tomb of wrong
how eloquently crafted
the lies dealt and spawned
I see you now
a fake a fraud
but no good sir I will not run
after all the fun has only begun...
and the winner takes all.

I wish my light could dimish your darkness
and heal all the wrongs done upon you
I wish my love could prevail
over every nightmare
and leave you resting in peace
but most of all I wish my love was enough

Distance has twisted my arm
I spend my time in the bar
Dodging advances
I miss the chances of seeing you
The glances you'd shoot at me from across the room
And that playful smile
That made life seem worth while
You gave me something to look forward to

I began wading through the snow
Along the way were barren trees, lost in life's afterglow
My thoughts slowed
I had no goal
No home
Not a soul to call my own
Nothing but a thirst for the unknown
and the breathless beauty of untouched roads

What does it take to wake and break your shallow ends
into great depths
Must I will the earth to quake or can you simply take suggestions
My reflection of your perception and lack of action leaves me guessing
As sweet nothings lose their charm and fade into a life lesson

When the roof caves in
Threatening to give
He hovers above her worries

Her head cradled in his lap
He gently strokes the hair from her face

Helping her fight the tears
     Easing her fears

Whispering so softly
Words so sweet
Only meant for her ears

I wish I could paint it
I wish I could create it
I wish someone's eyes would meet mine
As I watch my roof cave in

Young minds are like sponges
soaking in every sound and action
The hands that grasp their little hands
grasp the future

I cant bring myself to understand
how someone could look into those
innocent eyes and teach them hate

New eyes polluted by their father's
gun and rage

A song dreamed up from us humans
That I am most sorry for and displeased

Praise the lord and pass the ammunition!

I tied my tongue
and the knot salivated with anticipation
My lips twitched
as I fell mute and desperate for expression
An ache grew with every passing thought of you
Wanting to reach so badly forced to cut off my arms
I couldn't trust my needy hands
Though I try I can not silence my mind nor stop it from
entertaining words and plays in which you star
If only I hadn't learned your name