If it all should fall apart
I will fall with it
desperately holding onto grace
watch it all displace and collapse
into truth
-wanted above all eles
including love
let the pieces sing symphonies
of shaksperian philosophies
I will bleed and drain
the impurity
and banish the thought of been
embracing the facts
I should have
tis better to lose they say
I say never is a better suitor

The wind blew in from the south
Rumor has it love will kiss thee on thy mouth
There were tulips blooming all around
It was a common park on extraordinary grounds
As the night fell on Du Midi
The moon was full shining brightly upon the city
The month was May and Spring was underway
His eyes were so intoxicating
I danced until my feet ran red
Wishing the night would never end
But soon noon swept in to carry me off
and while saying goodbye I felt it wasn't enough
For days my heart couldn't give it up
There's something about him I can't quite place
and I miss his hand upon my waist
So much so I couldn't bare his embrace
You can trace the devastation as I try to deny
Struggling not to react but failed to mask my demise
The weight of his kiss and beautiful lips expelled
I felt such gravity giving me this hell
But my mind can't reason with my heart and
what was meant to provide closure
only carved a deeper mark

The winter has found a way to freeze me over
But I wont falter and reach for your warmth
You are December
and I am the Earth
You  ****
As I struggle to maintain life
Your reign is ill
and Spring shall fight

I wish for a ****
not a ****** mess
but to shed some skin
and expose my finest
because who I am
reflects inside my eyelids
but when I open to see
I can't face this person

She's crippled and mute
I try to reach her but when I do
she cries for the treason
of scaming me out of any quaility of life

She's controlling my body
while I am caged inside
using a view that lacks any vision
hellen keller could do better

In this struggle
to face the music
I want to dance
but my spirit has fallen
I try to pick up on the steps
but I harbor so much resistence

It almost feels like I am split in two
wanting to sing but lacking a tune
and I do have courage and I am strong
but the person who has surfaced
after this terrible fall
is nothing I stand for at all

I tell her day in and day out
get up cause your worth it
you know you are
but she stares back at me in the mirror
her eyes telling me
incessantly I am wrong

And I want to **** her
I want her gone
but she believes more deeply
I was made to fall

The surface of the water was placid
Reflections of Fall spotted this canvas in commencement
So excitingly colorful and vibrating with life  yet so still,cool,and welcoming
Inviting a storm
This tiny pond was willing to fight reguardless of the score
Well aware of the baited hooks and the illusions sold to implore
Tiny fins wave in unison
Fragile yet admirable all the same

My feet urged me on
as the wind fought against my will
and forced tears from my eyes
A passing face resembling yours
had me back tracking and
I stared back at the ghostly figure
Realizing my mind was playing tricks on me
My pace quickened hastily
The blackened Sea rushing in beside me
I allow the waves of emotion to recede
Back into the deepest part of me
Burying them in the sands of time
Knowing that the tale will forever be engraved in mind
A scar that can be spied in my manner with a well trained eye
A weakness not so easily disguised tho I try
and with my heart on my sleeve I drifted out to sea with no
life jacket to keep me from drowning
At that point I thought it easier than living
For an emotion that's so glorified adorned in beauty
It surely cuts deeper than hating ever could
Leaving you wondering which of the two is the greater evil?

Hands pressed against grey glass
Tinted by cloud coverage and streaked with rain reflected her dismay
She remained restrained by her sorrow apart from the world
Reaching but unwilling to open and gain
She waned and lessened
Her mouth curved sullen and streaming with colorful frailty
A scream was merely a whisper beyond what her narrowed view could see
That glass that so easily could be smashed
Held her under guilt filled illusion that it would be an intrusion

We sat in an awkward silence
your eyes nudging my mind
and there was nothing
but a wounded dieing desire
I simply exsisted beside you
and the look turned into despair
almost unforgiving
as you strummed a few notes
to cut the air
and I wanted to be more in that moment
to rehash a moment of counterfeit joy
just to fake you
to make you smile
I know you've been working at
this tension for months
but I was blank and breathless
while your stare coasted down to the floor
In a way dismissing me
so I walked off
alone I left you
on Christmas morn

R- ude,it is to consider a human being an animal,
    surely the quickest way to reduce them,

F- ucked up to think our kids should wear dog collars
    hooked up to frequency tracking systems,

I- wonder if we let this happen whats next tomorrow....
   a step back from our freedoms and liberties,

D- efiance against "request"could cost your child
   their education,

R-ighteousness,
F-ear,
I-ndecency,
D-omination.

Dusk drains your color casting shadows on your face
and your lines seem deeper with a frown much steeper
As sweat swells and expels streaking worry whilst the situation gets bleaker
Like a rock in your sneaker a fret you cant shake
Another night shaped by the unrelenting shame
Enraged by the mishaps and the things that dictate from the past
That you just can't grasp nor seem to mask
The pain only grows and unfolds every time you are asked
As memories flash and leave you abashed
Debilitated yet you still thrash through sleepless nights
for the terrors are rehashed
Suddenly wrongs seem right
Your spite grows despite your mold
Good men break bold
and look for loop holes
At times even justice does not seem justified
and a monster is born behind tired tear filled eyes

Advice
I can give it flawlessly
I have changed lives
I could give someone the key
I've just seemed to have misplaced mine

It's the swift wind that caresses your shoulders
and leaves your hair standing
An excitement you can't quite decipher
Whether good or weather bad

A voice that plays tricks
and flicks the light in your attic
The voice of god or fellow man?
Judgment day or just a scare?

The paths we ride
Should be walked and taken in stride
With tiny baby steps and endless wonder
With eyes keen to detail never sunken and sullen
I'll walk into the unknown
Keeping pace but never moving too quickly

To exhaust a point to a place where there is no more wonder
Only sweat blood and tears
Pushing vigorously forward
Despite all fear and what has been told
Feeling bold

Kneading this knot
Till it unfolds
To keep movement
with less pain
To gain the bread

Working to maintain a life
Now spent
In search of some kind of meaning for it

Day in and day out
Repetitious routines
Fighting to find some kind of happiness
Found or so it seemed

Knowing that much of what we hold
is never held
So much is borrowed
For temporary spells

Fooling ourselves

Just in
There is no Justice for us all
Men fall into a system
with fake weapons at the draw
The paper says more
than your alibis ever could
To put lives above the game
I wish you would
To me it all seems crooked
bending to the schemes
A bunch of false conclusions
based upon hypocrisy
Before you judge so harshly
and you burn him at the stake
I ask how many of your doings
were right and the jury unpaid

In complete and utter disarray she woke in pain to greet the day
Shaken by the violent sound of a silence that was too profound
Night and day there were faint whispers of what couldn't change
as she lay bewildered
While vivid memories placed a shroud upon her tired sweaty brow
Suffocated by the ache she chased a shot with hopes to obliterate
It takes three to remember and five to forget
That unrelenting grief that plagued her head
She swore such strength
She swore she'd love to mend the wounds left by wicked hunters
But too soon her blood had left her pale
and as the warmth rushed in she let out a long exhale

I tripped a wire and
set off the bombs
devasted my skull
blowing out my eardrums
I wish I could escape the
massive flame but it burns within
My temple caved
as I march to the sound of a
broken war drum
The warrior has disappeared
lost in the smoke and fog
...I've lost the battle today

When your woos left you with woes
Your repercussions echoed extreme
Armed by the past
You placed your bet on the guilty
But I am no prisoner of my yesterdays
and I'll bid up because I wont be blamed
It brings me no joy
This irrelevant fight
This endless gamble
This darkened knight
Even if I won you still wont be mine
Which is why we're both screaming in the first place

I dream of a face that I cant quite place
However I feel I've known it once in vivid detail
I exhale long sighs through out the night
Tossing and turning
Yearning for the love I thought I had found
Divided by uncertainty and a distance too profound
Touching my neck where your breath once fell
Swearing to catch faint drifts of your smell
Imprisoned by my perceptions and reveries
I've created this hell with falsified memories

When dreams become undone due to nightmares
and smiles are replaced by distant blank stares
leaving all that you hoped for at your feet
Shattered into tiny reminders of defeat
You seem to lose sight of what it all truly means
yet remember suddenly why you chose apathy
I look around and all I see are hardened hearts that fail to beat
these vicious cycles that **** humanity
Has everyone lost their sanity?

When the world crumbles and erodes
there are few witnesses who make a call
they wait to recieve a ring
desperately
carrying on restlessly
and like a tree that has fallen in the
middle of nowhere their lack of a voice
makes us question the damage
or if the events have even happend
but internally we are all left shaken
waiting on a hero who only exsists in legend

I think it's sort of odd how we love something more
Once it's gone
We're too distracted to appreciate
Too greedy to be grateful
Too lost ourselves to ever listen
I see you there
I feel your touch magnified
I'm leaving tomorrow
Finally tonight
I see you

I savor the peace that silence brings
the air seems to coat me like the winter's snow
escaping away to that quiet place where
the world cant touch me and I'm left alone
I've learned the magic in these moments
where my mind takes off like a pack of wild horses
free to decide where ever they may roam
Freedom from judgement or ridicule

I began wading through the snow
Along the way were barren trees, lost in life's afterglow
My thoughts slowed
I had no goal
No home
Not a soul to call my own
Nothing but a thirst for the unknown
and the breathless beauty of untouched roads

The sun set fire to the landscape
In rasps of velvet orange brilliance
and I got lost in the strokes of time and consideration
Picturing how many hours passed honing in on every detail
I saw waves of peace caught and sunken into canvas
My imaginative eyes and ears hooked to the shells
Though I tried there was no escaping
I was hopelessly lost at sea

Tears welled and wet my cheek
As my legs gave out and I hit the concrete
I couldn't stand the over whelming defeat
I examined the stone that caught me
and it taught me

Through the crack I saw a stem
It wasn't the most graceful of flowers but it was magnificent
Somehow it found it's way through
Growing passed odds that I'd never imagined it to

Time seems to change everything
People,places,things
but you haven't changed a bit
and for some strange reason
I'm in love with that fact
It's good to know that time can't
diminsh a great sense of humor

With one mention
I would burst into tears
But with time and learned lessons
I realize now that I've healed
Now forgiven and accepted
The memories never forgotten
Pain has been replaced
Releasing me

I was spinning round and round
I didn't notice I had been found
Abashed at first when you caught my arm
Whirling me into your world
Into your arms
At first I feared I had been spun into a web
But instead you made me a cocoon
That I consumed and flew out of
Who knew that it would mean so much
When you danced with me
Declining the role of a crutch

On the surface I am calm,cool,and collected
I speak with compassion and reasoning
never from emotion
always looking to defuse useless arguments  
and tense situations

I seldom loose my control

But inside I cant help imagining
smashing everything around me
saying everything that came to mind
leaving this pent up aggression behind

I have no release
I just want to feel free

I hate having to be so civilized
but my mind doesnt allow me to bend
I want to regress and throw every bit
of wisdom out the door

To start to explore my darker side

but I cant and I cant figure out why..

Media-
Pesky little fear spreading reporters
in an active attempt to spread information
That serves a specific agenda or resolution
such as getting the masses to consume or creating false images
to benefit or cover for some political figure
while masking the truth and only giving half assed
explanations and half of the facts
Most of us believe in everything we're told
at face value
This has to change

As the fire dies
Revealing the last shred of it's light
I focused on the last burning ember
Struggling to survive in the midst of December
In awe of it's last heated fight
To keep warmth and bring life to the night
I watched as it came close to diminishment
Then quickly fed and nourished it
With the arms of trees that will only see life in spring
As for me
Life waits on nothing

I saw them flying high above -
with love - twisting and bending air;
there was a pair.
I compared my clumsy arms to their wings -
bringing me to believe -
I'll only be with them truly in my dreams.

How could it be,
that these tiny fluttering things,
would etch themselves so vividly
into my memories - for a lifetime it seems.

I learned from the whispers of butterflies
and all the pain died in the wake of their fleeting dance.
Enchanting me forever with the idea of metamorphosis.

It had finally been unburied
A small box of treasure holding everything once of value to me
mostly crumbled pictures, papers, and cards...
and I began digging through a life now lost
Past lovers,friends,and family I haven't seen in years
now only fading words and images
turning to dust within my hands
Once held so tightly now just a tear
I looked around today and was engulfed by fear
Today will never last and thats a fact

I am unwitting when it comes to Love
The ways are just too stunning
for my disfigured hands to clutch
and I hate to see one bare my wounds
Their lies and their mistakes have become
your misfortunes
The past has consumed,erased,and displaced me into
an endless cycle in which it rules

The moment came
and I drifted away my breath reduced to a quiver of chest
" BREATHE "
...no I cant
I needed to relax
my mind regressed
the lights dim
there was a peace there
until basic instinct kicked in
" BREATHE "
...a gasp
one head rush and I am back
Sometimes I wish I had left
I guess that just isn't right

I need you here so you can see me
I want you close so you can feel me
I'd love the opportunity to reject you
To spring my fiery wrath upon you

Slaying every misconception
In a way that leaves you in deep reflection
As I giggle with the warmth of a child
After while crocodile

The words caught on the tip of my tongue
Where they'd hang desperately
Never to see the light of day
but easily traced in fluttering eyes and sweaty palms
All those things I should have said crease my forehead
Time only carving them deeper

If only today I could meet your gaze
and wrap you in my arms
Caressing the dangers of passion and love
For this is much more than lust
I crave the risk that will follow your kiss
The meaning that reins from your lips
and grips me
Despite the distance
Courageously I hunt for thee
Throwing caution to the wind
As my head spins
Ready to dive in

Remember one of the many things on this earth
that is infinite and never to be measured is a womens worth
It is so great that it is unfathomable and is never to be forgotten.

It could rain for 40 days and nights
flooding the streets incessantly
and he still looks on lovingly
as the water destroys everything
and he's left treading on resiliently
gripping my hand firmly
keeping my mind from drifting
singing to me steadily
as the winds pick up and pelt his face
the tears like stone engulf my place
yet he stands and braves the storm
carrying on
refusing to let me drowned in sorrow
A spirit so strong VS a mind so narrow

Looking through the lens
everything seemed so perfect
I snapped the shot
and captured the moment
So it would never be forgotten
Now it sits in an old dusty album
Under a stack of newspaper
and I havent looked at the **** thing in years

The laughter and silence without explanation
Cherished moments wrapped tightly in exultation
I imagine the glimmer in your eyes
That spoke a thousand words
The light I could never leave behind

This inescapable anguish - is the price of love - and no matter how many times I surrender - the force keeps lifting me up.

Bring me a piece of your heart
and I'll write you a poem
for better or worse
Forever its yours

For the love of the sun - I come undone - while blanketed in the softened light of the moon. I swoon and give way - engulfed by unquenchable flame - the cool ground beneath - consuming my core.

The call crashing at the edge of my mind - I continue on with closed eyes - and deeply kiss the blessing of a new day; feast or famine - this longing remains unchanged - imploring eternity - in a song of praise.

Streaking across my window, reflecting light from dripping chill. My breath fogs my vision - I close my eyes - and feel so, still. The patter echoes along my edges as the grey gives way to blue. Caught up in your atmosphere - I bet you never knew.

A part of me was always silently hoping and wishing for loves return.
Before I learned - then unlearned - only to lessen once more.

I chased the vision you inspired until my feet bled.

I still can't tell if it was you or me - that I sought after ever so desperately. I just know your face helped me to see - everything I ever wanted to be.

Hearing the shaking palms reminds me of a steady rain - the smell of petrichor envelops my senses - as the tides come crashing through each wave of pain. I can taste the salt in the air - imprisoned by this eternal longing - left with a dare.

Time - endlessly flowing - formless, fluid, and in the absence of context. The more I dip my fingers into passive meaning - the more my skin gives way - scars - loosens it's grip. She takes - then gives everything - as she ebbs then floods her possibilities - teasing - invoking. I lose the meanings - unlearn the rhymes - forget to remember - in a sea of melancholy, enchantment, longing - pain. I embrace her wholly and reject her simultaneously - she's just a concept - too surreal. Is anything that is thought or felt real?