She sat bewilder and rejected by the world
her hair dreaded clothes torn and stained with time
remains torn
she gazed at me longing
seeking shelter from the storm
the rain poured upon her shoulders
a lost soldier among the scorn
I read into her character
as if the scene were a book
and I thought of all the jackals
who must've shook and took
she sat withered like a flower in the
midst of December
I could tell if left there she'd surely die from
the weather
I was this women and she was me
together we were locked
in mystery wondering
longing
An exchange of a smile
and she was on her knees
begging for a ride a conversation
some relief
my door ajar
welcoming
inviting her into a place of warmth and understanding
motherly I consoled
she was my sister daughter love
she was everyone I ever cared about
trapt in a cardboard box
with a shake of her hand I read her palm
her troubles and despair
I spared some change a ride and empathy
hoping it was enough for her
if I could only save her I'd change her
I'd  change the world but for now
I'll fufill my mission
and allow her soul to fufill hers

I watch the clock as the hours pass
on relentlessly
another night wide awake
as my mind begs for the relief of sleep
unable to think clearly

I watch him and I wonder what
dreams flicker behind his lids
his chest at such a steady rate
I inch closer hoping his peace
would somehow enter me

Atleast one of us can escape to
the beauty of a subconscious plane
where the pain and the worry ceases
and the day ends mercifully

I am so scared of what tomorrow may bring
I am holding onto the night for security
but time unbiasedly keeps dragging me
to a day of answers or more anxiety

He says no matter what he'll stay with me
in a way this brings comfort to me
but it's something I find hard to believe
considering he's always dreamt of having a family

3:40 in the morning
the pain wakes me
I find myself clawing at the bed sheets
grinding my teeth
my mind escapes to some place serene
the first snow fall
the sunset
my love's eyes first thing in the morning
my body contorts....
I think of a baby's giggle
people dancing a number
chasing my friends at 11 years old down the block

I begin to shake
I think of soft serve on a hot day
sinking into a hot bath
kissing so sweetly in moments of tenderness
my father daughter dance

I get ****** back into the ache
I fight it
I dispell it from my mind
like a thorn in my side
Mind over matter
matter doesnt mind
pain the only reminder I'm alive
I must embrace this

So insensitively you drain and ***** me
taking blood samples and injecting the chills
enstilling no trust right before you ******
foreign objects into my gut
I didnt ask for you nor did you ask for me
and with a situation that should be full of understanding
we just cant seem to meet eye to eye
you are the arrogant judgemental kind
and me I'm just a piece of paper
full of ineligible lines
I hate doctors or most I should say
I come in always in the worst of situations
For them its everyday
and the longer they're with it
the less humane they seem
I dream of a world full of humility
while I crumble
traumatised in hospital sheets

Eyes popping
in distant stares
I wonder if a soul inhabits the pair
red hair, bombs,guns
and drugged?
The second killer nowhere to be found
but was seen yet disreguarded and most unaware
of the eye witness reporting
Why cover the details?
Something fishy lingers in the air
Something remains unshared
Motives so unclear
but I heard holmes had an obsession
with mind control
The neuroscience student
that spread so much pain and fear
conspiracy surrounds like a think cloud
like Sirhan Sirhan
The scenes shrouded in mystery
yet similiar
Ever heard of the illegal CIA human research program
Rockfeller Commission?
Did you know he had a Neuroscience University?
Fishy indeed

We spoke
like a light mist of rain
quenching the thirst of these grounds
and I reached out my hand
and dragged him away from the blood hounds
stripping away his ego
along with his clothes
which masked his vulnerability
I teach one to let go
he said I can't help this feeling
through his tears and mental exhaustion
with whispers of fear
the darkness had consumed him
and in a moment of clarity I spoke with honesty

he had decieved himself

everyone can help whatever feeling enraptures them
feeling down and out is a product of your own resolution
each thought we have can be chosen
and the world around you has no power over the mind
unless you allow it

Imagine utopia!
Your mind lit up like a christmas tree
unable to hide a single thing
at mercy to the powers that be

Come on were talking telepathy!
A fundamental algorithm indeed
they'll sell it, they'll push it, they'll force it?
guess we'll just have to wait and see

How exciting!
May be we'll be the ones
may be your kids or their kids
but one thing is quite clear

We are all Lab Rats running the wheel.