I have become a slave to the pen
unraveling and consumed by my thoughts
I'm in constant search of a thought worth having
and indulging in
so sick of the junk food crammed in
My mind is swollen and bloated
fizzing and falling flat
So tired of all this loathing...
trying to find away to make the sun shine again
Faint whispers of my soul say I'm creating black holes again
The mind either a tool or a weapon of mass destruction

Don't let this hour pass unnoticed
Don't you dare fall asleep
Don't let your life slip through your fingers
Don't ever stop searching

I savor the peace that silence brings
the air seems to coat me like the winter's snow
escaping away to that quiet place where
the world cant touch me and I'm left alone
I've learned the magic in these moments
where my mind takes off like a pack of wild horses
free to decide where ever they may roam
Freedom from judgement or ridicule

What lives behind your eyes is a sea of mystery to me
I chose to take a dive
swimming through blackened history
I try to wash away the pain and distain
The hate that life deals unmercifully
but I admit regretfully your tides crash in so far from me
and I know you'll never heal nor listen to an outsider like me

I climb to the edge of sacrifice
and I grasp the feeling within my hands
and pray that I am right
as I set the dove free
it was released forever from the likes of me
too beautiful of a thing to be caged
and as it flew I fell

It had finally been unburied
A small box of treasure holding everything once of value to me
mostly crumbled pictures, papers, and cards...
and I began digging through a life now lost
Past lovers,friends,and family I haven't seen in years
now only fading words and images
turning to dust within my hands
Once held so tightly now just a tear
I looked around today and was engulfed by fear
Today will never last and thats a fact

The moment came
and I drifted away my breath reduced to a quiver of chest
" BREATHE "
...no I cant
I needed to relax
my mind regressed
the lights dim
there was a peace there
until basic instinct kicked in
" BREATHE "
...a gasp
one head rush and I am back
Sometimes I wish I had left
I guess that just isn't right