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 Nov 2013 Danielle Hoskins
M
The last thing I can do is forget you, because I have kept everything you've ever said to me. I was able to pull myself away from your pictures tonight, all I had to do was cloud my eyes with saline and you were washed away and reborn again. It's been an entire 10 minutes, and I'd like to say that I haven't seen you, but I can't seem to keep my eyes open because maybe this screen is too bright, or maybe your face behind all of my thoughts is the closest to the place we called home that I can get anymore. And the last thing I want to do is forget you, because it's a full nightmare living in any memory that you didn't exist inside of. I can barely bring myself to look to my left when I wake, and you told me that I'm crazy, but my skin just isn't the same without yours against it. And every time I feel myself tear, I take another step towards the place where the salt meets the water, at least this way I know I'll be hurting myself. You see, all I want to do is forget you, because in the beginning you placed a diamond on my back, and right now all I can do is place your diamond on my smallest finger, picturing it on you. I know what I said, but the last thing you should ever believe is that this won't stay with me forever and that I'd ever tell you the way I'd ask you to marry me. I know you wanted to see it, but everything I've ever felt for you is inside of this tiny box with its tiny cushion, holding the reflection of rooms full of light, and I couldn't have you look at it like you looked at me.. It's been two whole days since I had to beg to feel those arms that fit around me so well, and mine slid into your bone structure like they were made for you, because they were made for you. There's a reason my finger tips could cure your discomfort, and there's a reason that you didn't want me to stop. You know why you're body shakes to my breathe on your back.. And it's been two whole days since you couldn't bare to not kiss me, and I can still feel the smooth of every breath you took before your lips touched mine. The thing is anyone can make you feel the way you want, but only I know how to do it perfect because I know every little piece of you and I am infatuated by it all. I planned a dinner for two somewhere we could experience the entire world in one place, somewhere we could try new things together. I bought you a beautiful dress, then another because I knew you'd be worried about how you looked in it, and I knew you'd look irresistible in both, and I wanted to capture that night for the rest of our lives. I wanted to visit the city that held the first time you should have heard the words I love you, because I most certainly did. It's been two days since time started to matter with us, and my voice brought you nothing but hatred. So much, that you wanted to hurt me. So much, that you told me.. you hate me with everything inside of your heart, and your heart is the biggest, and all of that hate is for me. What's sad is that I've been shaking for the past two hours because you're not here to make it stop. I only know three things: I love you and I would never let you down again, I think it'd be okay to die tonight, and I think I have to go now..
Either way you hurt someone, and if it's me that's okay because I'm the only guy in this world that would sit here and hurt for you. I have endless ways to make you smile. I may have been a day late, but you made me perfect, and I wanted the way I made you smile to reflect the same perfection. There's no amount of time I could be handed that I wouldn't spend finding ways to make you fall in love again. Even when I was away, I was thinking of you and spending almost every moment preparing for the day I'll never get to see. Don't let me go. There are so many things here just waiting to make you feel as beautiful as you are.. Including me baby.
I think back to the days
when I would come over
for play dates
and we would
explore the world
being adventurous
energetically carefree.

It was simple
how our friendship worked
no tall tales behind
each others backs
no feelings were hurt
no secrets
no lies
no whispering.

We were all best friends
hanging out together.
A group formed quickly
and divided even quicker.

Stories embellished
to promote one’s own
popularity, creating
laughs and turning me
into the black sheep.

I learned not to trust
any of you.
Skepticism became my
new best friend.

The best thing I thought
was to leave it all
forget everyone and
begin somewhere else new.

That place didn’t really
seem quite for me either.
So I returned. Some
accepted me back with
open arms, but I still
couldn’t trust it.
I didn’t know who any
of you were anymore.
I struggled opening up
and accepting you all.

I wish I could have done it.
I wish we did reunite.
I have forever wanted to
be back in the group.

But the group is not for me.
It never was. It never will be.
 Aug 2013 Danielle Hoskins
Sophie
My grandfather was a Southern Baptist minister,
but from the way people talk about him, you’d think he was Jesus himself.
I never met him, my grandfather, but I know he must have had big, strong hands,
And a smile that would make his eyes light up
like the only things that mattered were family, God, and a warm dinner.
I know that sinners would have swallowed the Devil whole
rather than face my Pennsylvania preacher.
And I know that he was handy with a belt, when he needed to be,
But generous with a pat on the back or a firm handshake.
Most of all, I know that he broke my mother’s heart
when his heart couldn’t beat anymore,
and so he left the preacher’s wife and their babies to find his Maker in the sky.
Sometimes I wonder what he would have done when he got there,
And no one met him at the pearly gates.
I wonder how long he would have looked before giving up,
and if he would have tried to come on back home.
I wonder if he hadn’t been sure his home lay above the clouds,
If he would have fought harder for his time in this paradise.
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