it's hard to tell your story
life needs to make at least some sense
to be put into words
words are usually on my side
but in this case
my words are forests where my emotions can hide
in this case
silence
is my only sound

it's hard to open to a stranger
the words
the stories
things happened long ago
how do you tell them?
and what lights do you use

do you want to shine on your own role like
a victor
a victim
a bystander
what's my part of my life?

i answered the answer of why my life is falling apart
with silence
i have nothing to say
but silence masking my pain

sometimes you're here
as the ghost of what could have been
suddenly with me
i take my feet of the couch to make you room

we touch
may kiss
i hold you close to me for now
in this darkness, you seem real

ghost of what could have been
please, never visit me again
but also, never leave me
the real you is gone, so can your ghost atleast

stay?

how to manipulate my past
i need you back
i have to change things
to make you never let me go

It's really dark outside thise train
but there's a country
landscapes made by not God but humans
fresh water inside the former sea
where am I going?
what did I take along?
the darkness now surrounds me
not a single light outside this train

this daycare
a world
all children abandoned by fathers
does he come back?

a phoneline
we keep talking
what we hear back is static
what we believe is love

does He come back?
did God just leave us for a while?
are we orphans?
did our father ever exist?

this world's
a daycare
and we're trying so hard to keep believing
we'll be picked up at the end of the day

sunday morning
finally some time of
and even the king
gets to slack of on the internet

words can be hallow
empty
you can take the essence away
Not every word means what it means
Not every song is music
Not every church is devoted to God

long nights
short stories
dreams don't last long
hours, slowely passing
just a room, a bed, and me
lying still, but also lost
not going to admit how scared I am
not going to admit I'm still lonely
not going to sleep until I do
Some vivid dreams followed
by more hours of being awake
then daytime
which is even worse
than trying to fall asleep

my heart is aching
it beats your name
it's asking me to
talk about you
but I have nothing left to say

my heart is aching
it's been months since it saw you
it's hard to keep on going
hard to stay alife

my heart is aching
it wants your touch
your voice
your hope

my heart is aching
I need your love

yesterday
two years ago
i didn't know

then we met
i laughed when you told me you loved me
and i would love you too

but you were right
somehow you made me open my heart
to let you in

but i was always scared to lose you
until you promised you would never break up with me
which you didn't

until you did

yesterday two years ago i didn't know
about the boy  who'd steel my heart
just to break it
and let me fall apart