the last few nights
will lay etched in memory
not because they were
overly special or
out of this world
but they are the end
of an era I didn't think
would cease to be

when, if ever, will I see
the faces that laughed
and sang along tonight?
will some of them press on
through the ages
or pass away with time?

my throat seems plugged
unable to open up
and say those final words
that lay solemn in the night
...
"Goodbye my friends,

goodbye"

handrail, wall, ceiling, stair
tumbled down the whole flight
by mistaking the door
for the staircase as the door
for the bathroom
as doom loomed near
nothing had been more clear
I've been falling down stairs
my whole life
bruising, aquiring contusions,
bleeding, clotting, bones snapping,
regrowing,
I'll be okay, I'll be okay
if I can just manage to crawl
back up to the party
to the... party
to the...
to...


**blackout

As much as I can
I repress the one part
of myself that I can't stand
the hopeless romantic
that sits in my brain
trying to change the things
I think
drown them down
the kitchen sink

money isn't worth much
not to me anyway
but words don't seem to hold weight
any more
sometimes it's a chore
to listen to people talk
their words a babble
just shh for a minute
and enjoy the silence

once I sat atop a mountain
for about eight seconds
it was completely quiet
for about eight seconds
I felt at peace

When I get high my songs all ****
I'm nervous for an audience that
doesn't even exist
But I feel like a million bucks
giggling like a school boy
interested by the dumbest ****
Trying to figure myself out
by staring in the mirror
then rearrange the interior
and pour water on my eyes
to try to see clearer