She whispered while we lay
"I don't regret anything"
which brought forth a chuckle
from my gut
"So I'm not a hated heartbreaker?"
"No...I just wish you would try"
I sigh
200 miles is to far for a man like I
despite the ability to drive or fly
I made up my mind long ago
distance is a poison
that causes all relationships
to die

She said she wanted to take me line dancing
down town with a couple of folks
I said yes but wanted to say
"Don't you go an' get too involved now
'cause I'm packing my bags, on my way out
and you might just wind-up a' really  hatin' me"

So I know it's late but I need to vent. Sometimes getting held to higher standards kills me. It's like I'm on this pedestal and I can't breathe
I'm my mom's baby boy and my dad's therapist
I'm our friends' secret keeper
a sponge that soaks up all the stuff no one wants to remember
I'm summer and I'm winter in the thick of December
the ember in the fire and I'm burning low like I'm the fuel for peoples' furnace
and maybe I just imagine it
maybe I make it up in my head
but it feels real to me
Half of me wants to be the one people confide in and trust
but half of me wants to disappear
to just leave and join a crabbing ship
somewhere out at sea
so I can prove to myself that people will live on
that with me gone they will end up ok
maybe it sounds like I'm full of myself
or that I put too much weight on me as an anchor
but that's what I feel like
an anchor cast out into the ocean to keep everyone from drifting, safe on their ship while I
sit at the bottom
with a mouth full of sand and cold salt water seeping into my skin
Even anchors
need a break
a reprieve from their duty.
Even anchors need to surface
for a taste of
fresh
air

Now it's my turn to rant
I'm so ******* tired of being
held to higher standards
of being the one with a halo
of being something more
I'm always labeled
song writer, poet, college student
I'm just Dan *******
just Dan
my blood runs red and blue
I just want to leave
I'm no one's savior
no saint
but I'm always painted up
some perfect picture for someone
some safe haven
some heaven
it's my turn to rant
I'm nothing more than
Dan

I think we forget
that we are on one simple planet
racing through  space
just a rock
just a glorified rock