I'm drowning in a pool of self loathing,
Had everything I needed...
Destroyed it with my greed and foolishness.
My rock and my love,
The thing that made my life worth it,
The person who made me feel like I mattered.
I've gained a girlfriend yet the void is still there,
I now realise that the love I felt for you will never be shown again.
Why is this so hard...
Why did I have to think with my ego and my ****!

I Try To Be Happy...
But Depression Is Now My Best Friend.
My Only Friend.

You know that feeling you get when you're empty and drained all out,
you have no one,
you constantly feel worthless and useless,
you don't know how to make anyone happy,
or how to make them proud,
so the only way to feel something else is through the pain you cut.

I never knew what life meant,
Never knew where it would take me or what I would do.
Know I know that one persons opinion of you can end it,
Who'd have thought that your words would be the thing that made me realise.
You've been my final release,
you were the dozer that destroyed the walls of deception.
All I know is there was a box of pills and a few cans of cider,
they are the only friends that I have to accompany me on this lonely and cold night.
It's time to sleep now,
My lullaby is over and my head is dropping.
I may have destroyed you for which I am sorry,
But know now that you shall never have to suffer me again.

Not sure where this track is taking me,
My life was set but my train's been derailed.
You were supposed to ease the pain but without just cause you caused more than necessary,
You were supposed to be my safety net but you were more like electrified cheese wire.

Like water
I'm evaporating
After the rains

I'm so lonely,
All I want is a hand to hold,
A heart not so cold.
I'm standing here in the mist,
Looking for a light,
Nothing in sight.
I need a hug,
A reason to live.
As the blade draws deeper,
As the rope grows tighter,
I ask myself,
Will anyone notice?
I've been left,
I've been forgotten,
I'm no longer a friend just a mere acquaintance.