i had hoped that they would forgive me

but now my wrist poor out my hearts convictions

and under these sad condisions
i think that they would let me die alone

but thats what i get for thinking because
there hate has grown

please let me go on alone

let me sing this sad song
let go my chains so i can go wrong

please let me be misrable in my own cloud of hate
let me decide my own fate

dont make me heal
now i can feel
let me go home

ill bleed from the bone
ill die alone
ill bleed the deepest crimson
only then will my soul be let go from this prison

ill let all my tears flow
because then you will know

that soon this pain will brake me
and that your god has allready thought to forsake me

and when you wake tomarrow
YOUR TEARS WILL BURN WITH SARROW

because you will know that even though you stand here next to me
i am not there
i dont kare

you will come to my grave
you will think your self so brave

REMEMBER
i dont kare
because im not there
I DIED ALONE

this is the last time im going to say it

pain is my only gain,
pain is my friend,
pain so deep and cold,
i feel at home with the dark pain,

i love pain pain is my friend,
pain will bring back my love,
pain will give me life once again,
pain so deep and cold,
is the only way i can have,
my love and my friend,

pain is the worlds friend,
pain shows us if we do wrong,
pain shows us who we are,
pain is not only in the dark,
but in the light as well,

pain is so deep and cunning,
pain can show me who i am,
pain shows the world who we are,
pain is my only friend,


with out love theres pain,
with out anyone theres pain,
with out the sun with out the moon,
theres pain so as you can see,
pain is with us and always will be,
pain will never leave its a marriage,

its a soul and a part of you,
that will never leave,
pain is my friend and it is your too....

So alone and incomplete,
without the touch of your hand.
I can almost taste defeat,
without your love.
My breathing slows,
knowing you dont think of me.
My skin grows cold,
thinking what you said last to me.
My heartbeat finally stops,
when I remember your face.

Trace my skin with your deadly touch
**** me now the pain's too much
Razorblade kisses across my wrists
The cracks in my heart like eternal cysts
Shining steel slick with blood
My arms are drowning in this crimson flood
My wrists are crying
My eyes are too
My scars symbols of this anguish so true

Don't know where to go,
Every way seems to be closed

Don’t know what & who is right
Every word seems to be wrong

Caring is a crime or love is a fault?
All feelings seems to be gone…

Smile, laughters all has disappeard
Left alone, with some unknown fears

Can't help it out, what's going on
Just wondering, why its taking too long? !

Some unsaid words, whispering in my mind
Leaving my face, more to be frown

Let me die or rescue me now
Let unsaid words, said, before

I'll be victim of another dawn….

in silence, shadow, and shame, i am alone screaming your name,
if only you knew how much i love you,
but in the dark i must remain.

If i had God's mind
I would choose you because i know i would handle you
But am just human
My mind fails me sometimes and my heart keeps silent
My mind cant conceive and my heart cant discern
And sometimes my eyes work full time while my heart just stays in bed all day
Babe all i can do is wait
Wait on him that sees with divinity
He who sees and defines the future
I can't help but wait

There is a fire that burns in my heart
What i do not know is will it keep me warm through the dark cold nights
Or will it burn my heart to ashes? I wonder!
Your arms around me feel so safe........
But honey....ooh i cant lie i do not know
I do not know what lies behind that hold
It maybe too tight that it strangles
Or too loose to protect
I can't help but wait

I look at you and my heart tells me to hold on a little longer
But why? ..............why do i fight with my emotions
When this should be the easiest decision
How come it feels so wrong yet so right?
Does love even matter anymore, does it remember am alive
Does love consider, does it come to the unlovable?
Does it last for eternity?
I cant love you just for a lifetime
I wanna love you for eternity
But why do i feel lost?
I can't help but wait

I have trusted before, loved before, cared for before
But it never lasted
Betrayal.........fear of getting hurt, my tender heart can't handle it
I have given and been misused but i held on
Now my cords are rotting the line looks loose
Will i fall?
I do not know if this is another unsafe zone, another mis-use
With my heart so tender i can't try anymore
I can't help but wait
Wait on Him and Him alone
I can't help but wait