I can feel the thousands
        Of
Sharp
      Dull
Sharp
                Constant needles
Pushing through
And everything is fine
Everything is good
I'll be okay
Life is just shadow
Reality

..,...........................I
               Will                 Love
                             You
         Softly.       Gently.        Kindly

                            When
               You                     Can
                             Feel
                 Only                Bruises

                              Still

                       I                  Will
                              Love
                             ­  You
           Softly.        Gently.      Kindly

                                 As
                                 You
                      Love                  Me

I've been mending my soul
Loving you
And you
Loving him
And her
Sewing the tear in mine
Loving
And
More

Loving
Yet
The hole in my fabric stays

Tumbling In
Now it is more Real
and I know you are Here

But I can't breathe yet

I'm still cleaning the grey dust off my skin
I'm still clearing the black smoke from my lungs

I can still see feel the distant flames licking against my skin
and
I'm not ready

I wonder how
You leave and move on
Like our worlds didn't just collide
Like your body didn't melt into my arms
You go back into your world
And I into mine
But I still feel drips of you on me
And you
You
You just move on
Back into your world

I'll always miss you in the calm
mornings
holding me in a way that said I held your life
and that morning you were clear and free
laying in a way unique to those who had grown up with eachother
only the father of my children could touch me that way
forgetting everything....every thing
because this morning
we were 22 and 37 at once...
we were new and engaged and married and parents and alone at once
I'd laugh like only a women who had bore your scars could
that love
comes once

I like when I am on the way to you
thoughts stumble upon thoughts
fast
butterflies flying
my heart skips beats
Time races

I like when I am alone with you
words fit into words
with ease
my heart beats slower
my mind races less
Time slows

I like when I am leaving you
thoughts are clearer
with love
my soul feels calm
time is just time