...what you thought was a frisbee turns out to be a boomerang.

The ravenous,
Beastly harlot
With the many arms
And many horns
And the tongue of
Honey and silver
Is not at all
Tamed.

She is simply
s l u m b e r i n g

All you need do
To wake her
Is lean close
To my ear
And whisper,

"Now."

~

For days past
For touch
For your fingers
And lips
And all the things
Out of my reach
For steak
And potatoes
And strong drink
For God's sake
For tomorrow
For us to exist together
And cease
The games
For life
For death
For salt
And sugar
And blood
And sweat
And tears

For you <3

She's been a joy the entire journey."

Well, **** me.

I guess it would've been
More acceptable
For her to leave you
Over pizza

Whatever.

Fine.

Roll
Stretch
Yawn
****
Ugh
Bloodshot
Eyes
In
The
Mirror
Empty
Can­s
In
The
Sink
Glitter
And
Dandruff
Cover
My
Pillow

My roommate's dog is howling out back
Someone stole my garage door opener
So now I'm gonna get robbed
AGAIN
**** this city
**** sobriety
**** life
**** all of it
Because I'm alone
Always
Always
Always
Alone
I deactivated all of my accounts
And slipped quietly away from it all
And crawled into my first day of
Hell
The world
And everything in it
Can kiss my ***
Because I'm in a decided state
Of HATRED
And it hasn't even been
24 hours

****.

Is this it, then?

A salad with tiny bacon bits?

I wanted the bacon cheeseburger!

Nowhere feels like home
When your heart won't settle
Won't beat
Won't swell or even thaw
So
I
Guess
I'm
Homeless

The way you guide
The frenzied wanderings
Of my heart

Will surely make me
The next great
American poet

But...hear me out...what if I actually do die alone?

You were the song
On repeat
But I didn't mind

All along
Your goodbye
Was a sad crescendo

My dissonance
Rang clear in the night
To interrupt your aria

Maybe it won't
be so bad
if he hates me

But you thanked me,

And

The night
Wil end
As all
Nights do

I'll always be
In love
With you
<3

I thought
I'd be done
With the sad ****
By now

There are rooms full people
Talking small with large, gaping mouths
I want to stab them, one by one
Until they notice and scream
I suppose it will take hours
For the fear of death in their bodies
To outweigh the fear
Of life in their minds
I want them to scream in panic
Scream for survival so that they might live
And tomorrow, when they meet again
I want them to speak of the frivolity of war
Of the importance of animalistic copulation
Of the stench of the blood and **** on the floor
I want them to refrain from cleaning the floor
So that they remember the hecatomb
And speak of the martyrs
Who reminded them of their ability to speak
Of more than just the ******* weather

During my endless
Crashing
Maddening dances
With pain
And exuberance
Will be
A light show
That lasts
Half the day

How did
A gal like me
Get to deserve
Having
A guy like you
Dangled in front of her?

What did I do
To justify
Your sweet,
sweet
Tortures?

That karmic force
Which propels me
From tragedy
To tragedy
Sent me
helplessly
To you

And I find myself
yet again
In a state of breathless
Wonder~
A moth
Reaching for
The deadly kiss
Of your deepest fire

Drunken on
Your words
And every
Drop of
Tenderness that
Poured from them

This is the state
Of my ravenous soul

To Hell, I'd gladly descend <3

I know
I'm
Being
A *******
Child
,
But
Knowing this
Doesn't
*******
Help
Me
!

I'm just a weak person!

As much as I try
To pretend that I'm fine,
I know that I'm
Not.

I wrote you a letter
That I might just
Burn

When
Will
I
Learn?

I could be
Anywhere,
But I wannabe
With you

What say you?

Nope.

I can't
Find the
Words

They won't leave their
Amorphous shapes
As I try to
Catch 'em

And the flies tickle my skin
As the last glimmer of hope
Drops from a stationary eyelid

She is dead.
She is dead?
She is dead!

No one to save her
Not now
When it matters
She is dead...

Take them with you,
The parts of her
That you loved

Everything swirling around me in ribbons of colored light, making rainbows in the air

I'm dizzy

I'm really actually pretty stupid when I think about it, but they tell me I'm so smart

Don't trust anyone

We can't trust the thoughts or feelings we hold because they are made of air and wishes

It feels good

To give myself to the feeling of longing and perceived need and lust

But
I
Get
Hurt
A
Lot

Who knows
If
I'll be able to
Work
Tomorrow

All I know is

The world constantly disappoints me
And liquor
Only
Seldom
Does

No.

She smiles sweetly
Her nametag reads
SOLITUDE
And she follows you
Through crowds
Whispering in your ear
Quietly
Yet drowning it all out
"I am with you"
She smells so sweet
As she gently places fingers
Around your shoulders
And you stiffen
"Relaaaax"
You relaaaax
Where did everyone go?
Her fingers tighten, tighten,
Massaging away the crowd
"I am with you"
She turns your shoulders
You walk towards a blackness
Blindingly bright blackness
That burns the eyes
"Here"
She is hissing
Fingers around your shoulders
Digging in and biting down
Fingernails slowly sinking
In and down and in and down
"I am everything"
The blackness deepens
The blackness thickens
The blackness burns
"You are nothing"
Something presses to your back
A ****
A hard, sharp, thin ****
Pressing to your spine
Harder, harder
Growing against and into you
Slowly piercing, ever growing
You cry out
"I will ******* to DEATH!"
Her **** gores your spine
Searing and scrambling
Your guts and lungs
"YOU ARE NOTHING"
The bloodied, pointed head
Emerges from a burning hole
Up through your chest
Pointed to the blacked-out sun
This is the end
The end
THE END

Despite his incessant
******* and moaning,

he wanted to.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Writing these stupid things keeps me alive,
And, ya know what? Kinda,
So do you
<3

Seasonal affective disorder
Is all the ******* rage:

Seclude yourself!
Ignore your friends!
Blow off your obligations!
Justify your behavior!
You're SAD!
YOU DON'T NEED TO FIX IT!
It's the way to freedom!
Never deal with people again!
Never deal with issues again!
Just curl up in bed!
You deserve to be SAD!
DON'T go outside!
DON'T communicate!
DON'T apologize!
Just!
Be!
SAD!

And the scars tell their stories-
The punk who ashed his blunt
On my back, or
The guy who bit my right *****
So hard it made a hole

So many pounds gained and
Lost and gained
And lost
And nights spent drinking instead
Of sleeping
Smoking and turning my
Insides to Hell

Exacerbated by the bad
Lovers
Are the aches and pains of
My body

Red eyes, dry and
Out of tears
Dark shadows of a
Disease
That he gave me
The best of
The bad lovers

And finally-
A somewhat-desensitized
****
From the worst lover of all

Me.

Be.

**** him.

**** his voice.

**** his touch.

**** his hair.

**** his scent.

**** his name.

**** his gaze.

**** his stare.

**** his arrogance.

**** his sweetness.

**** his charm.

**** his pheromones.

**** his bare chest.

**** his loyalty.

**** his lack-there-of.

**** his secrecy.

**** his mystery.

**** his heresy.

**** his history.

**** his Fox.

**** his Fix.

**** his memories.

**** him.

**** him.

(But GOD, how I wish I could)

**** him.

I've stood in this
Field for hours
But all of the flowers
Have an even
Number of petals.

I love you
You know this
It's stupid
You're stupid

Buuuuut

It's hopeless
We're drowning
The boys are out
Now, run away

Stay

Leave, I guess
Grieve, I guess
I don't care
You don't care

We care

We care too much
And we drown
And we fail
But hey-

You know all of this

If you
Are the reward
For misbehavior,

I will scorch the earth.

Mama said there'd be
Days like this
But some of these days
Are actually

Kind of okay

That feeling when you're empty
And lonesome
In need of distraction
Something to fill you

That feeling when you know
The world is cold
And you just want
To be warm

So you push and pull
And struggle
Past the wall of thoughts
And worries

Forcing your mind to the alley
To the ***** streets
Where lovely things die
And the wholesome withers

You dive into nastiness
Depravity
A ****** highway
To hell

Because when you arrive
You die
And not in the way
You hoped you would

The hands and mouths of ghosts
Have all left
You're cold on the bed
And still alone

The last light of ******
Flickers out
Like a repossessed dream
Like a phantom

The space between sleep
Is now laughing
But you cannot tell
From whence it comes

Reminding you of
Your feeble attempts
At escaping
By the highway

1:46am
4:46am
Two time zones between
I'm trying to s l e e p
Maybe it's too late
Maybe it's too early
I don't know much
But I know
That I'm lonely

Even if I'm not alone

I had a short interaction with a stranger, and I wanted to stay alive for them. It's over now, and I want to die again.