I've stood in this
Field for hours
But all of the flowers
Have an even
Number of petals.

A girl
Alone in a room
Drunk
And lonely

Watching The Lobster
Drinking raspberry Smirnoff
Feeling so forlorn

Words
Actions
Feelings
Philosophies

The pain she has caused
The lives she has
affected

They circle the drain
Like the poison drenches her liver

A slow death
A ffection
A tonement
A fire

One man to harm her,
And to scold her,
And to charm her,
And to hold her...

Given the same choice,

She'd be a finch

I
Only
Wanted
To
Be
Burned
By
Your
Passion

But you warmed me with your
Kindness

"I just want to kneel at his altar every night of my life."

Ringring

Ringring

Ringring






Ringring

Ringring

Ringring

­

No answer.
I guess you're still asleep.

Take my chin in your hand
Eye to eye
Whisper your secret
With the set of your brow

I'll never hear it

K
i
s
s

M
e

And I will
Melt
Into your
Eternal Punishment

I will
Kneel
At your
Altar of Sin,
For I am

Yours
.
Yours
.
Y
O
U
R
S

To use
To have
To keep
If you want me

Write your secret on my back with your nails

I'll never see it

love me...
(That's the other fantasy)

Love me
(Don't just **** me)

L O V E
M E
A N D
S H O W
M E

THAT I'M MORE THAN JUST MY HOLES

THAT I'M MORE THAN JUST YOUR *****

THAT I'M MORE

Love me,
Touch me,
Love me,
Kiss me,
Love me,
Breed me,

yes
<3

Nope.

I can't
Find the
Words

They won't leave their
Amorphous shapes
As I try to
Catch 'em

At the end of the day,
We cannot tell
If we are
Lucid or
Mad

I know
I'm
Being
A *******
Child
,
But
Knowing this
Doesn't
*******
Help
Me
!

I'm just a weak person!

There is only you
With those hands
And those eyes
And those lips

I bet you bite hard
And pull the skin with your teeth
To remind your victim
Of your ability
To easily tear the flesh

'Murica is gettin' cold
And dark
And grey
And sad
But, there you are

In the blur that is Fall

Everything dies
To desolate the earth for Winter
And, here I am

Made alive by you

Through the cold
Maybe you will keep me warm
Maybe you will keep me
From freezing to death

There, in your shame
Cozy and warm
Until the Spring
When I can step into the sunshine
Out of your embrace

Would you want to keep me?



Well?

Drip
Drip
She waits for no one

Drrrrrip
Shhhh
She hears you

Satisfied with any port

And
You
Are the storm

Ol' girl-
It looks like they
Dipped you in rust
Or have you just been here a while?

I swear
Yesterday
You were shiny
Silver, free of oxidation.

I think I am
Alone, but
I'm actually
In bad company
Because my thoughts
Abide with me

Yes, dear-
but what do I do
about this
*******
ache?

1:46am
4:46am
Two time zones between
I'm trying to s l e e p
Maybe it's too late
Maybe it's too early
I don't know much
But I know
That I'm lonely

Even if I'm not alone

Everything swirling around me in ribbons of colored light, making rainbows in the air

I'm dizzy

I'm really actually pretty stupid when I think about it, but they tell me I'm so smart

Don't trust anyone

We can't trust the thoughts or feelings we hold because they are made of air and wishes

It feels good

To give myself to the feeling of longing and perceived need and lust

But
I
Get
Hurt
A
Lot

Be.

I can't sleep
When I think about
Your ruthless race of men

You could say
That I'm just bitter
But hear me tf out-

They've said,
The respected among you,
That I inherently
Think
I'm supposed to be
Stupid

They've said
That my skin
Causes
Irrational and violent
Aggressive
Hypersexual behavior

You've believed them
Because
Let's ******' face it-
You trust each other
Ugh

But I'm
Just playing
The RACE CARD

Ya know?
The worn-out card
I've had since birth
That works so well
At what?

I'm not sure...

My coloring
Has earned me praise
For "rising above"
Above what?

I'll tell you:

Rising above
The white opinion
Of what is real
And what is fact
And becoming what THEY see
As an anomaly
Huh.

My RACE CARD
Is full of punches
Redeemable for
A lifetime of
***** looks

Why do I do this, again?
Oh, yeah-
I'm angry

I'm angry at Rick
I'm angry at Stephen
I'm angry at Jim
I'm angry at Donald

But that's natural

Like the Fact that I'm
Less Evolved
Less Intelligent
Less Civilized
Naturally

Black-on-black crime
Is out of control
In this country!
Pull up your pants
And take care of your children!

But I **** white boys
To the dismay of proud sisters
That don't ask me why

Here's why:

They are e a s y
And w e a k
And I don't mind
Seizing my *******
And their self-esteem
Because they know
Who's ******* who
By the end of the night
Their *****
Are MY s l a v e s
My ****
Is their M A S T E R
Truly, this is ¡JUSTICE!

I will think on my
Hypersexual conquest
My feast of white flesh
With triumph!
The only victories
I claim

And I
Will sleep
Less

I'm paying my bills
I'm dancing my dance
I'm hopping along
I'm fighting for my
GOD-
******
LIFE

You're looking
And seeing
The dance
But
NOT THE FIGHT!

A whirlwind
A tempest
A high storm
The two of us
Could have been
A force to change
The landscape
Of the world

I won't say it didn't sting
To learn that you love her

But I could kick myself
For not seeing it coming

It's just that everyone tries so hard to pass themselves off as very different from themselves, and I just wanted to drag you into yourself.

There was
No mercy
In your
Creation

It screams and thrashes
Nocturnal, writhing
Hungry for itself
Contradictory, insane
A little death
A massive tremor
Two backs
One beast
Are you ready to fuse?

In the end
We can pretend
It never happened

I like to run my fingertips
Through the sweat
On a new lover's back

I am a child
Finger painting
In your filthy labor

Bukowski's lovers
Liked to squeeze his blackheads
And write him letters

Boys from California
Aren't afraid to moan
During a good ****

I taste the sweat
With my fingers

You did such a good job

Down you sent me,
Down into that
R
  A
  B
   B
     I
       T
       H
          O
             L
                E
Of ecstasy
Without contraband

We only want to feel alive

To have our hearts race menacingly

To burn with delirious abandon

And that

Is where

I found

You

But how I loved you

I loved you with the heat
And the drive
And the mania
Of a dry brush fire

The loss of life was tragic

Somewhere between
My desperation and my desire
I find you
Infiltrating my dreams
With memories
Of your deadly kisses
You always kissed to ****
And touched to burn
You spoke in order to enchant
Incantations under a full moon
I hear Death moaning
Softly in your song
She lives between your lips
And takes her throne on your tongue
DEATH
As you spoke to me
As you kissed me
As you tasted me
DEATH
Waiting for your command
**** her! **** her and sigh!
"She was always so interesting
She was always so smart
What a pity, what a shame!"
Your Death is sweet
Like strawberries and Jack
Your Death is rich
Like cranberry sauce with cinnamon
My mouth waters for yours
For your Death
Because she is life!
Your Death is life eternal!
To sleep in the mouth of God
Forever
The boy with Death in his mouth
The boy with the mouth of God
Find restful sleep in the valley
There, in the lower lip
A hushed, soft valley
In which to rest with Death
She will show me her throne
On the tip of the tongue
And slay me there
Before her honey throne
My blood will taste bitter
Dripping from your tongue
But
With all
That
Sweetness


I doubt you'll even notice

I'm breakin' up the band
Again
To pursue a solo career
As my own court jester