I want some strange man to brush up against me
Just deliberately enough
That my heart starts to race
And then he just
***** off

I want the neighbor's
Disgusting husband-
The one with the hacking cough
The one who kept stealing glances at my exposed, chocolaty midriff-
To give my ***** sloppy kisses
In the laundry room
In the middle of the night

I want you to remember
That I'm a person
And I'm lonely
And I'm ~starving~
And it's really okay,
Isn't it?

I want you to know
The whole story
But you couldn't love me
Through the half of it
So that's that.

I want you to run your nails down my back
And then gaslight me
By pretending it didn't happen
As I get on my knees
To clean up the puddle on the floor

I want to ***
With hot human flesh
In every
Single
One of my holes

I want you
So badly
That I
Can't
*******
Stand it

I want to yowl at the night sky
Until someone volunteers to
Shut me up

I want to feel
The lust
Pouring off of you
Drowning me
Before I choke on your ****

I want to stop
Feeling the need
To wear crop tops
In front of my neighbor's
Disgusting husband

I want someone to notice
When I'm not okay
And I want someone
To love me
Enough
To be there
Every night
Like a raft
In a storm

I want to get ****** so hard
That I forget everything
For just a *******
******* second

I want to be used
And reminded
That I'm just a toy
For your amusement

I want you to **** me in the pouring rain
After so many deserts
And so much heat
And so much time

I want
So badly
To be seen
And to be ******
And to be free

I want you to know
That this isn't really about you

I want so many things
I'd make a terrible Buddhist

It would be so easy
And so ~dangerous~

I thought
I'd be done
With the sad ****
By now

I am paint over masking tape
To create sharp lines
That never turned out right

I am fingers pressed to screens
And screens
And screens

I am who not to be

I am who I am
And I know what I want

I am drunk,
But not really anymore
So I'm sober
I guess

I am a girl giggling
As her second real boyfriend
Tried to get her to **** his ****
After getting her high
For the first time

I am a mother
Who cheated
By getting an epidural

I am the worst thing
That's ever happened
To too many people

I am poem
After poem
After poem
About boys who probably
Don't remember my name
And whose names
I don't remember

I am dust in the wind
On a dead end highway
In Oklahoma
Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains

I am all the love
And mania
Of a collection
Of bad decisions

I am the screaming
And wretching you hear
Within the walls of a jail

I am wrong so much more often than I am right

I am the acrid smell of
****
Burning through the walls
Of a not-so-happy home

I am dying of thirst
Where the only source of water
Is thousands of miles
Away

You aren't real anyway

She'll be comin' 'round the mountain
When she ****
Too late now
She's already here

But maybe you've forgotten
How bitter she tastes
After too many
Heaping helpings

Have you ever
Been in love?
Have you ever
Been in love
Like I have?
Stark, raving
Mad
And heavily
Indebted
To yourself?
Have you ever
Abused
Prescription
Medication?

Nothing matters
Not the boy
Not the girl
Not the baby
Not the pain
Not the joy
Not the *****
Or the pills
Or the ****
So just







Go die.