I wonder if you remember
The smiles we shared
As we laughed at each other
Across the room

I wonder if you might recall
Our eyes locking hard
Past hundreds of swift bodies
Rushing by us

I hope that I leave impression
On your crystal soul
When shivers run down my spine
When I see you

I ponder over thoughts of you
As I do schoolwork
Or during cold, sleepless nights
In the silence

I believe at times we connect
A psychic pathway
Opening similar doors
Into our hearts

I'm afraid to commune with you
In fear that you don't
Return the sharp sensation
Of uneasy love

There- I said it, that blazing word
That causes troubles
If true feelings are not shared
Or rejected

Four letters that shine as moonlight,
Resound deep within,
And sing of what things could be
Or what they are.

It's strange- the feelings I hold close
Remain unspoken
By fear and timidity
That restricts me.

I don't want to make it awkward
Between us, I hope
That we can become friends
Somehow, someday.

I wonder if you remember
The sparks between our
Frozen fingers as I slipped
And you caught me

You assuredly don't realize
The effect you have
On me whenever I see
Your striking eyes

I wonder if you remember
Where our chemistry
First started, or where I thought
Allure began.

I wonder if you felt far
Before I realized
Who you were, and I became
Intrigued by you.

I vaguely remember you there
At that first concert
Where you played the high trumpet
With the joined schools

You express yourself through music,
Come to think of it,
As do I. I wonder how we
Are so alike.

You tumble through my emotions.
You're present in all
I ever think about now.
I think of you.

I wonder if you remember
Our eyes, both dark blue
Locking as we sat down in
The cages called chairs

I wonder if you feel the same
Feelings as I do
Or if I'm stepping into
Problems, not love

I wonder if you will ever
Know the way I am
Consumed by you in ev'ry
Helpless daydream

I wonder if we will ever
Amount to something
Together, or remain our
Separation.

Those words which I dread to ever
Share with someone now
Are slipping through my fingers---
I love you.


© 3/1/13

Hey.

I'm sitting here writing poetry
Because I can't stop thinking
About you, and only you.

The way you walk, your shy
Smile, your complete assurance
With your friends, your gaze.

I don't understand how we can
Be so different, and yet the same.
You're such a gentleman.

You're good at writing, but not
As I am. You write poor poetry,
But I can't stop writing poems.

I can't stop writing poems about
You, even if no one but me will
Ever read them. It's strange.

Lately, you're always in my head,
And there's nothing I can do
That will ever change that focus.

You're kind to every girl, but I
Hope you act different towards
Me. It's probably a foolish dream.

You are a bright spot in every day,
But I wonder if I am more than a
Meaningless, hazy face in the crowd.

Today, I confessed to more friends
My feelings for you. But I still turned
That blasted shade of red and stuttered.

I need to get over this insecurity and
Timidity. I rationalize with myself that
What I feel isn't as deep as it really is.

My heart blazes with sheltered emotions,
Of pathways thought just out of reach, but
May not always be unreachable, I hope.

Well, I don't think you'll ever read this,
And you probably won't hear this, but
To you I still say tender, forbidden words:

I love you.


© 3/25/13

Is that the lowest moment?
When you don't dare to wear shorts because of the scars that cover your legs.
And then you're sitting there at the dinner table with your family,
And they keep on telling you to eat,
But all you mutter is "I'm not hungry",
When you actually are.
You're starving but your image is worth more than a meal.
You eat a few bites just to shut them up,
And then run to the bathroom to rid yourself of it,
To make sure you can fit into those jeans,
The ones that could stand you losing another 5 pounds.
You get used to the lies of:
"I'm not hungry"
"I ate before I came"
And "oh yeah I'm fine, just tired".
Is that your lowest point,
When the only food you're feeding yourself is lies?

You may have died young,
        but as long as
        my words live,

*You will never grow old.