Cunt Muffin

Cunt Muffin Sep 2011

Divine

I feel your breath

Rolling down my skin,

Like ripples in the pond.

I feel as if I'm floating

And the entire world is gone.

I feel the shivers

Racing up my spine.

Your touch is electric;

I feel divine.

Cunt Muffin Sep 2011

Misery

Ah, sweet misery.

My true friend,

My one companion.

Always alone

Yet, never without

You.

When happiness falls away

I have you to turn to.

When loneliness is all that's left

I can feel you

Crawling under my skin.

Burning.

I have to let you out;

You cannot be contained.

Silver blades break the surface,

And I watch as you snake your way

Across my skin . . .

Staining it so red.

Oh, sweet misery

Don't leave me now;

You're all I have left.

I can feel your warmth

As you pool beneath me

On the ground.

Cunt Muffin Sep 2011

Broken

Sitting alone in this empty room,

Wondering what's to come.

I don't have much to offer;

Yet, what I have is up for grabs

If they think they want it.

A desolate soul,

Consumed with grief

Over what I had in you.

An empty void,

Looking to be whole again,

Just like I was with you.

And as I watched you walk away

That day --

Broken, on the ground.

I couldn't help but feel this way . . .

I knew the end was coming;

I saw it in your eyes,

Long before that day

When you said goodbye.

Cunt Muffin Aug 2011

Need

Empty, echoing words
Rushing through my mind.
I love you
I hate you
There is no difference
I want you
I need you
But only for awhile

Blank souls
Colliding
Grasping for meaning
In a world of nothing
I need to feel you
I need to know you
To feel that I exist
To pretend that I am real

Your lips are my intoxication
You leave me drowning in your touch
I struggle to stay above water
To take in that much needed air
A gasping breath
A shuddering sigh
My heart races
As I slip further away

I sink into my dismal state
And give you complete control
I have no pride
I have no self-respect
I only have you.
You don't love me
But you need me
And I need that.

Cunt Muffin Aug 2011

Some Nights

There are some nights I think of you

And wonder what might've been

There are some nights I dream of you

And wish upon the stars

There are some nights I remember you

And laugh about good times

There are some nights I miss you

And wish you were in my arms

There are some nights I remember when

You made me feel so low

There are some nights I think of you

And curse you all the more

There are some nights I wonder why

I ever even cared

There are some nights I think about

The lies you fed to me

There are some nights I wish I had

Left you long ago

Then again . . .

There are some nights I think of you

And somehow, I miss you still

Cunt Muffin Aug 2011

Weep

A surge of disappointment

Tinged with regret

Living in torment

Just trying to forget

Yesterday's so far away

But the future looms so near

I don't know what to say

All I know is fear

I don't know what to think of me

I wonder if I'm real

It's becoming hard to see

Where life got its appeal

I think of dying when I'm awake

I die when I'm asleep

I'm so afraid my heart will break

And I begin to weep

Cunt Muffin Aug 2011

Apathy

Bent over backwards,

Accepting your pain;

You hurt; I hurt,

It all feels the same.

Running in circles,

Saving you from yourself;

What does it matter?

I can't even save me from myself.

I hate to look in the mirror,

Swallowed by loathing and doubt;

I want to feel needed,

But I feel so left out.

I jump through hoops for you

And get nothing in return;

I try so hard to love you,

But, all of it, you spurn.

I'm down on my knees,

Begging for recognition.

I know you'll do nothing to appease;

Your apathy outweighs my ambition.