People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams
because they feel that they don’t deserve them,
or that they’ll be unable to achieve them

Because I don’t live in either my past or my future.
I’m interested only in the present.
If you can concentrate always on the present,
you’ll be a happy man.

You’ll see that there is life in the desert,
that there are stars in the heavens,
& that tribesman fight...
because they are part of the human race.

Life will be a party for you,
a grand festival,
because *life is the moment we’re living right now

Tonight, when the moon goes into total eclipse...
The past & the present shall be entwined

Tonight, you could go back to the period you want...
You could change history

" But I'd rather stay right beside you now ... "
You mumbled under your breath,
A warm tingling sensation on my skin

— c.s wondering

Looked above the heavens
Looked for the man who put us here
Looked at my tears flowing down
Looked at the blood flowing out

****** in a deep breath then....

Looked at the starry skies
Looked for the brightest star that's probably dead
Looked at the drawings on my desk
Looked up the ceiling....

And wished for salvation...
And wished for an angel....
And wished to find a direction...

Save me please,
I'm looking for you.

— c.s wondering

All this time I keep trying to find myself...
Still stuck and lost.
So I end up wearing this mask...
Pretending that I don't even try anymore...

But to be honest...
It's still horrible....
I guess I'm the problem....
never been family, friends or people...
I'm probably strong enough to not get affected by those above...

But...

I still feel lost.
I still feel faithless.
I still feel suffocated.
I still feel afraid.

I just seem like I don't anymore...
but I'm still scared of the dark.

It's just that...
I'm scared if I probe too much,
I'd get punished.
I'm scared if I peeked too far,
I'd get dragged down, again.

Darkness is scary....
you get pulled down into it.
It's one endless pit,
you only fall...
fall... and fall.

Then splashing black paint,
scribbling till the pencil broke...
nothing helps either.

Reading...
Watching movies....
Well I could run away for a little while...
Then when the stories end,
I feel crazier than before.

" What am I doing with my life? "
"Who the **** am I? "

I don't even know what I'm saying because
It's so **** hard to explain....
It's like how sometimes...
You just can't put pictures into words....

It's just a confession...
at 3:45 a.m.

— c.s wondering