I feel dead with the pain
that i am going through with
no dreaming
no sanity
only pain
relentless and numbing pain

I am going dead
I am dying with this
just,
i don't want to die.

how it feels to be more than a hundred days with you
how it feels to be in a thousand hours beside you
how it feels to be in a thousand moments of talking to you
and an infinite seconds of loving you

your scent which i smell every time i wake up
the warm hug that forever keeps me comfortable
how it feels to be the one loved by you
and the tangled moments i had shared with you

remembering the days when we were walking
at the place which we really loved to go
where the afternoon grace surrounds us
with the trees and flowers around us

how you used to kiss my forehead, and tell me how's your day?
and * i'm fine, okay* are the one that i can say
how you used to pick yellow flowers for me
and putting it behind my ears whispering i am so lucky

how we used to point on mansions or even houses that looked like castles
and say hey babe i want that someday
how we used to watch an old woman paint in her porch
the feeling of looking forward to something with you

how we used to dance in the rain and even kiss
letting me borrow your blue sweatshirt makes me feel safe
under the yellow bells of trees in the street
you told me everything's going to be alright, baby

how we used to sing our favorite song
saying lucky to be coming home someday
i know because the feeling of looking within your eyes
i feel home

how we used to held our hands without speaking
how we used to tell each other's dream
young love as they say
but i know this is real

how we used to lay down after a busy day
feeling each other's warm body
the feeling beside you after a long day makes me powerful again
because of the love that runs through our veins

how we used to have dinner, in a fine restaurant near our home
how we used to sit below the pirate displays
asking me are you happy with this?
i wanted to tell you that i am happy with everything

you and i may not have the perfect relationship which every one can think of
but i know it's real

*b.a

She had red lips like cherries and blood and wine
Pink cheeks like berries picked fresh from the vine
Skin like porcelain, white as milk
But smooth like velvet or cashmere or silk
Her hair was soft and blew in the breeze
She moved like a dancer with grace and with ease
With the allure of a siren and the body of a model
But the unadulterated mystery of a genie in a bottle
Her eyes were a color the rainbow can't define
She was perfect and amazing but she'd never be mine

"Whats depression like," I'm asked
"Well, it's like your drowning, but your breathing
They see that you're happy, that's what you want them to see,
But in reality, you're drowning not on the outside,
But the inside"
-a.k.