now every time i smell
lemongrass and coconut
i will always remember how you
ghosted on me

and when i lit the wick in my bedroom
i let it crackle and take to the burning match
until a pool of smoldering hot wax developed
and i’d dip my finger in
and watch it solidify
and
then suspend my finger above the kind dancer flame and see it melt back into the candle cup

it’s all just a cycle
it’s going to burn at first but
i would love again.

anxiety hit
the shakes followed
and the snow was hitting the house outside
surreal almost
sounding like pop rocks
in a moist throat.

oh she wanted to be held by
the strong hands of inner peace
she layed in bed and
prayed for forever as well
as now.

and the world is
corrupt
and putrid and behind every corner
is a person plotting another’s demise
and i look up only to see swinging brown bodies
from the branches
dancing to the whistles of the wind
and the whites
seeing their downfall
from above their heads
the whites
afraid of the color they don’t know
the winds
up-taking their beings without permission
they nod as if they’ve done a noble deed
and i collapse from beneath the oak
from the stench of rotting flesh
and fallen hopes..

how can you turn a blind eye
to what we could be

i grab your hands and make them latch on
to my thighs
thighs that could give
a dead man life and so i
took your fingers and
trailed them all over
the bumps
scars
stubble
and bruises
telling my story
all of what you don’t hear
choose not to see
yet feel
caress
and ******
to embrace without letup..

i don’t understand why you
feel so empty all the time
i came to my consciousness
and felt restraints on my arms
by entangled winter scarves
making it hard to shuffle from the
chair i was tied to.
and **** was he strong.

you wanna feel lonely
i’ll show you lOneLY
he turned on the hanging light a few steps behind him as i heard a rodent scurry behind me
this
right here-
he had a styrofoam ball from Michaels on the coffee table
i didn’t get it-
i let out a chuckle
im glad you find it amusing- see this is me
he pointed to the shadow
and this is you-
me of course the light you’d assume
you-wherever you go you
are the light that everyone sees-
yet you act all dark and sad and write about how no one cares about you
tears started to well up in his eyes and voice on the brink of breaking the way his heart did
but you ARE and you don’t see it
and i’m here-your shadow
he moved the light all around
there always being a shadow and a bright light shining off the 50 cent planet
and so-

he sighed a deep exhale and pressed his eyes in
you’re on punishment and until you realize that you’re loved you’ll realize i’m doing this for your own good
he started to shuffle around me and seemed a little conflicted
bewildered by his own thoughts
i whimpered through the salty sock
he clicked his tongue three times and stroked my cheek and ran his clammy fingers over my hair
you’re so precious
one day
you’ll understand
he pulled the wooden chair i was bound to
and brought me to the cold solemn basement
you’ll start to notice your light..
he said as he flipped off the switch
..when all you see is darkness

feverous wet lips
caress and glide against each other
relentlessly
inseparable
pulling apart but never apart
reddened cheeks filled with warmth and
desire
wild eyes feasting on seemingly natural inclination
she lies there with starving thighs
eat her up
something in him said
as he goes for the bite