was she ever even mine..

you
my angel
made me drink from the fine glass
of despondency before you
peeled my lips off my face
when you walked out of my life.

in your left hand
you’d whip my tounge around
that you rooted out my mouth
like a proud trophy you were left with
in a Roman arena after a good fight.

leaving me to make unintelligible sounds only
just trying to be understood in a world
that only revels in discernment
you slaughtered my greatest gift
from both wrists down

my ability to write
you had stripped from me
my ability to speak all the perfumed words
of my soul
you had weeded out..





why do you do this to me my love..

i’d rather freeze over
by your grave on
icy rainy nights
than frolick in a placid world without you..



pretty little fears
music to my ears

i’m gonna force myself
to write something
beautiful for your eye holes
and that ****** muscle
in between your lungs that
feels
a little too much

want you to hold me as
tight as you hold on to a lie

clinging to it with coveted life
yearn for me
hold my thighs over your
shoulders like an emotional burden
ravage yourself through me
while you quench your thirst
for forbidden honeydew
while i continue to regret meeting
you.

when i was four
id stand there in awe
seeing a baby cloud almost floating
from the ceiling
and so id chase it
and swat it when it got in arms reach
so i’d ball up my hands in fists and
unfold to find nothing
but clammy palms and pen marks

every
time




i was never good at attaining things
that descend from the sky..

she met with him
in room 184 of
the love motel
the plants were dying sooner this fall
and so was she.

she’d yelp as he tightened his grip
around her waist
making it harder to breathe
making the guilt harder to bear
-with every gasp
she only thought about his heart wearing away within him

and when it was dun
she gave way to tears as he wiped her
chest.





hard to smudge regret