I feel like a fool...how did I fall so deep in love with you.
One day was all it took, now my whole existance is shook.
I want u I need u, just spilling out, and for some reason, I have no doubts.
Ill confess that I  get so obsessed with the thought of a changed address.
What a mess.
But nothing I can't clean up.
Just as long u think I'm good enough. Watched u fall into my lap, as if someone heard my dreams n plans.
I love it when u call me scar, and adore the incredible person u are.
Thank u, even if u break my heart.

so i was thinking about u today.. those gorgeous eyes, that familiar face. and i was wishing i could get up the nerve to call, to just spit it out, to just tell it all. my hands started to sweat, and i couldnt help but regret, every kiss i didnt give, every lie u couldnt forgive, all the love i love yous i took in vain all the sadness, all the pain to have u once more, i'd be taking a risk but if you want a reason why i would i can give u a list the way you say "hello" that day we played in the snow the nights u held me tight the times everything u said was just right how everytime i think of forever its you i see, and how nothing in this world means as much to me

Been trying to ignore what month it is, the one I hate and would never miss. I know I'm not the only one... Still hurts, but keeping busy so it's not as tough. Back in Cleveland, this and that's changed, but you know how "home" is; pretty much the same. Ashtabula still has ****** weather ^_~ I don't know why I check, guess it's habit or whatever Sometimes I feel like you come down to visit me... Its cool, I like to imagine us chillin' Laughing, smoking, having a few brews, listening to good tunes, ranting on about lifes truths and blues....really fkn miss you Anyways, birthdays right around the corner, you know I'd never forget...hugs and kisses til we talk again old friend.

Heart hurts so bad, its hard to even think, I know I gotta be strong, but how, when I feel so weak No idea why u tell me that you love me, want me to stay when I see the way you look at me, fighting everyday I'm holding on to what I thought we had but the longer I stay, it only makes me feel unwanted and bad. You make me out to seem like something I'm not You said You were grateful for me, so why are u letting my heart rot? Whats fkd up about it all is the whole time, you were the one pretending, because u never truly cared, not even now that its ending. Dont know how much longer I can take this, I cant keep feelin like i dnt exist, loving someone who doesn't give a ****. Cant keep killin my soul because you wont try to understand I thought you would better me, thought u were a different man. But now I see that things arent gna change, aren't gna get better. Not convinced by your fake smiles, dont believe your letters. I just wish I hadn't let you change me so much, so disgusted and dissapointed, with who I've become. And in your eyes, Im to blame. u do no wrong, feel no shame. Hearts going completely insain with pain, mind's withering away. Because theres no sensible reason why I'm still here, its not because I need u, its not because of fear. Guess I'm hanging on to the hope that maybe its just this place. Fighting the logical me, deep down I know things are gna be the same. Not sure if I should be proud that I stuck it out, or should be feeling stupid for ignoring all my doubts. Whatever it is, I need to find some sincere kinda peace. And I realized being w u, I'm just not happy with me

Here..there...feel chills from these cold stares. Standing straight up, i follow his path laid out for me. Good, bad, but who i turned out to be. My struggles keeping me strong, hard headed, I stay doing wrong Funny, huh, never thought I'd be hitting that pipe. Always thought i was different, not that type.Should've known spontaneity runs through my veins, and I mean, people do change. But all along never oblivious, just intrigued by what it could be and everything it already was. Lessons learned...hard and plenty Mistakes made...large and many Still learning because u never stop Will staying powerful, cant let that drop Reality cutting bone deep, figuring out that i really am just a creep Dukes up, prepared to stand up for who i am... Not pondering what i cant change but focused on what i can. Wise beyond my years thanks to long nights, sweat, blood and tears. Legs hurt, I've walked some rough miles these days its hard for me to even smile. Green thoughts and Crystal thinkin' Eyes wide open barely blinking Yeah some will hate, but i wont hold a grudge I handle mine, but go ahead and judge Perfection is a concept we'll never comprehend so I accept my flaws and don't play pretend Don't know how to be fake , I was bred to be real and I could really careless how that makes u feel

Sad and confused Dont know what to do what to choose I thought we had things figured out, ready to go. but after all ur words once again, theres nothing to show I depended on u bc u promised everything would be alright. Now im standing w my things packed, chest tight I dont wana leave bc these emotions ARE real, but life is happening, no matter how we may feel But ur not even that person i fell in love with anymore. Its too bad ur letting that **** walk me right out the door I just hope one day me and ur boy have a lil more worth in ur life, and u actually do whatever it takes to make things right ...and if not, then ill pray that things for u get better ...we'll miss u.. Love, This Last Goodbye Letter

I am not easy to get, not easy to forget, adored by so many, hated by plenty, artistic and lively, fake smiling, persuaded by lust, underestimated much, intelligent and cunning, never to welcoming, lonely and frighten, obnoxious and whinny, political and opinionated, sexually stimulated, random in lifes journey, unconcerned with others worries, a liar and a theft, innocently sweet, always making no sense, not easy to convince, undefined, uninhibited, playful and imaginative, hard to love and loves so hard, listens to sad strings of guitar, unreliable and understated, always cold and simply jaded