Not that i claimed to have really known u back then 
cause even then i had not the slightest clue
 but theres still something about u i tend to defend 
..that simplistically complex creative beautiful truth 
Enigmatic at many times,
but not frighten instead keen
 magnetic with my smile 
some may even call it incomprehensible obscene 
Fraudulent but fragile for i love and hate at once
 mellifluously i beg for my own sanity My mind, my heart disputatious ...lacking complete clarity
 Still i feel as though i knew me better then in comparison to now awe-inspiring,
and inexplicably My distorted distracted me is wowed
 For ive come to realize i know me less today this person ive turned out to be... 
nothing short of decay
 ...Contemptibly delighted to say is me

Unreal how life twist and turns i know im not gna make it, how do I when everything i love crumbles from beneath me. spinning I'm lingering on something that I've made real but doesnt **** the demons that haunt me, that taunt me obleek, diseased frustrated and paralized from the world

through tear drops and bloodshed, ive said it a million times and ill say it again because when i lost u... a part of my heart, my soul, u took, my friend I look at your pictures, and i really cant help but to smile, sadden i remain, cos i needed to see u before u left, just for a while My days go by, i think about ur mom and dad, how hard its gotta be to remember the wonderful son, just a year ago, they had. tough listenin' to music, i find myself crying, still seems so unreal, the thought of u dieing. catch myself wanting to tell u all the new things in my life, even though since u've been gone, my minds not been right. but then again thats something i absolutley loved abt u, u could make sense out of anything, ur heart was so true. Intelligent as they come with such an interesting perspective, grateful to have learned from u, i was starving for that connection. handsome as can be, those green eyes are embedded in my brain, heart and stomache still flutter anytime i simply hear ur name. sucha shame, u were destined for greatness, the best at so much, always wantin to make it. hard to write with all these memories running through my head, give up anything to see ur warm smile once again. empty, for all along i had a plan, a year ago i wouldnt know this me, if that helps u understand. met a lot of people, but i felt u in so many ways that even mentioning this puts me in dark depressing daze. But i know i always will because u werent just anybody to me, i appreciate the person u were, so brilliantly unique. i fight tears almost as much as i breathe, because when i lost u, i felt like i lost me