Imperfection unparalleled
Flawed like flies on ****
Cold like that ***** November
******* frigid
And aloof
Come now, tell me what you see
Can you read my painted face?
Can you kiss my coloured lips,
Or see past the black lines that block my eyes?
Fortress impenetrable
Impregnable
Quite impressive really
But also impossibly sad
I can fake confidence like you’ve never had
Do you like me in my party dress?
All legs and eyelashes
All smiles and camera flashes
Cheap wine and car crashes
Find me alone in my college bed
Naked from the neck up
Dreaming of someone who would love me that way
And praying that someone could be me
Drinking copious amounts of black tea
And waiting out the winter
Call me the great pretender
I’ll wear that title like a badge
Because paralyzed by insecurity
I still manage to drink and dance so beautifully
Wake in the morning
6 am
to stich up a fresh face
face the day with unmatched grace
and fabulous poise
wink and wave at older boys
then rip your guts out in the dark
slice the pain and swallow
puke it out until you’re hollow
pray for revelation
or salvation
maybe a vacation might suffice
here’s a piece of fine advice:
prayer is all we have.
And as for me
I’m evergreen and office pine
Jagged cliffs, an infinite decline
Bloodred bleeding valentine
Just a few heartbeats from a flatline.

Sit in Starbucks in the rain
Venti Vanilla and hamstring pain
Biked all the way here
to sit and study road signs
Note down all the guidelines
to sit and sip and listen to the sky's tears
Behind the Bon Iver Holocene
and future fears
Too much coffee will make you old
Too much work will make you dull
Threadbare sweater, aren't you cold?
Threadbare dreams, weren't you bold?
Weren't you better than this?
I could have sworn you were interesting
Weren't you Intrepid
     boundary-testing?
Weren't you Fearless
     all-Investing?
Infinite Spirit
     Never resting
And now look at you
Utterly Ordinary
the typical type
Suburban Sell-out
     Cheers to real life.

I still sit by the window,
Where the crows call.
I hear the smoke,
On windless nights,
Like a loveless kite,
Lost in the rain
Hiding behind roads
To forget its way home.

With rusted breath,
And wasted mind,
The  debts i owe
Leave ashes behind
Your stories unknown,
My stories untold.
The rest unfinished,
Collect in my pockets.

Sometimes i think i love you only for the poems.