you spent an hour
showing me your coin collection
and i
obediently examined each one
carefully...
smiled
exclaimed
wondered.

you said you'd drive me home
but you
missed my street
the street that your bestfriend
you've had since a kid
also lives on
(what are the chances???)
you
laughed it off
drove me around
in the sweet
warm night
windows down
wind spiced with summer
blowing in our faces
music up
till we could feel it in our chests
for an hour...

then you talked to me
in my driveway
for another
thirty minutes
engine turned off
the peepers and crickets
singing through our open windows...

i think i
like
you

i think too much
about throwing up
about emptying
that which people tell me
is wrong.

to society
i am
disgusting
i am
too fat
i am
repulsive
"no one wants to look at THAT"
they say.
because beautiful
is malnourished bones
thighs that don't touch
stick-thin arms
bony
ribcages...

it has been POUNDED INTO ME
that beautiful is NOT
what i am
that beautiful
is achieved by the shape of your body...
and maybe i'm not a perfect size
maybe my stomach isn't flat
maybe my thighs
are chubby
maybe
i'm not a lot of things
but i believe
that i AM
beautiful...
and no amount
of ugly hearted people
who tell me that i am not
will get to me.

i was made like this
and i would not change it
for the world.
**** it,
*******
generation.