I can take the fall
I can take defeat
but I cannot take
this incomplete death

I can accept it's over
you and me don't match that well
but I cannot accept
this uncertainty of everything

So please God release me
or should I release myself?
I know well the answer lies somewhere
away from the pain
or at least the black hues I'm learning these days

My beautiful broken girl!
Against all of these *******,
you don't know but you know
their names
My thin, hungry piece of art
You are pretty despite
the cracks that let out
your inner river of light
An Amy Winehouse that survives
you are

Regain your flesh,
but not their common sense
never be like them
Destroy the uptight place that made you fall
My beautiful broken girl! My thin piece of art!

Tick, tack, the clock.
No messages yet.
Bad thoughts.

I am way too used to this.
Is it my mother's? Is it me?
I know she means good.
But she tears me down in every move

I've been reading papers
Been playing songs.
Trying to understand, stop
The toll of love.

I've been wondering
where the ****? and who?
I've started feeling my chest hurt,
I've felt not good. (What can I do?)

I think it's my mother's words,
Her dependant ways undermine my world.
She was adamantly defensive
from the time she knew he was old

I've been fighting
this **** real long
and I am not willing to give it a throne.
Old thoughts stirred right now
Fears and things I forgot
I know better, than writing this stub.

Steady and ready
I get prepared to spill the beans
I found you! Oh Thomas, I did!

Oh Thomas incubus of my 20 first poems
In my ***** blue hair and unsteady mind
between eggs and ham
I find you unexpected
that I find happily chatting with his colleagues
That ***** mole of yours, enticing me
Enticing me? I can remember how you did
That pink haired girl in your bed
that would never give head
But her body is on fire
The water starts to flow inside
That girl trapped in between
in between herself
but still loving you

Oh Thomas
How you left me these Xmas
I thought you would be my everything
my teacher, the lighthouse to me
But
We couldn't make it far
Just a kiss and a tender touch
in a hidden cocktail bar
And that's what we were
Nothing more at all
Ephemeral love brought forward true love
You are nothing but a stain
an accident (like everything else)

Thomas. Pig. Fake.

No sweet sharp on point metaphors today
Just a lot of confusion and a bit of pain

I can't make beautiful shapes with it
It's a deep, thick mesh of thorns
Of feelings going up and down, right and wrong
I can't get my hand inside
without getting hurt first
I need to - how to?

I will talk to you later
Let's heal over, heal over, heal over
You and me
I will do anything
Would you for me?

I never want to stop loving you
I'll wait for better times
This better be worth my while

It wasn't truth, or enlightenment
what made me see angels
and things
Was it? was it?
It wasn't but a low tide flooding it all
It's not truth, or enlightenment
what is making me write these words
It's pure pain speaking, the pattern now I spot
It's terror drowned in doubt - or the other way around
It is not truth, or enlightenment, although it looks so
what makes me run away
It is something I cannot fathom well
The answer must be somewhere else.

You always say we're going to places
You always say so many things
Finally it becomes nothing
but your bed

You always say you care
you always say I'm the one
but our conversations
are falling short so far

we are shallow, somewhat flat
we are drifting apart

You are afraid of transitions
but there's no reason why
although the question of kisses
always puzzles me too a lot
But I don't really mind
I want you much more than what my body does

Do you see the fear in me
and that drives you away?
What is in your mind that I cannot understand?

I don't feel any loved, we are not what we used to.
Lies and hiding, cannot be our path.
Everyone talks around.
It's obvious I'm being let down.
I don't care, but truth be told. Things have changed.

It's like a chain around my neck
keeping me still and i'm not free still
it's a yes and a no
all coming through your lips.

But...we are so different, we come from different paths.
You come from life, crowds, I come from air, fire.
I come from loneliness, not knowing who you are.
Finding truth in the strangest spot.
Struggling till death, death do us part.

But I have also witnessed the beauty
of the strange, bright night lights.
My world is psychotic, and so is (turns) my love.
Love is a threat, but it pays off.

Where do we go? Where you want to go.
I know we are not
simply names in each other's lives
to be put away

I fought monsters and myself in your name.
Have you ever done the same?
There's something deeply wrong with us
we cannot give it a name
There is something deeply true with us
we cannot give it a name

the guy of the thousand kisses
all over my skin, my body shivers
there's something missing -
there's something plus in the scene -
an old dead body, that haunts me

because he isn't dead
I wish he was
but everyday he decays
a bit, our growth is spayed
we lie on the bed
but a few days ago
I saw the other side of the game
now it flees from me
but I already got sold my soul to it

he killed himself in fact
to my hungry eyes
I am hungry for life
can't starve on your doubt

And the guy of the thousand kisses
comes along and burns me little by little
I love his touch, I love his slow burning
Maybe he holds  a secret I don't know
I am doing it all wrong – love love love
I've been trying hard to keep him at bay -
now it's time to let it blow, baby let's play
Show me the way - not to be a wooden girl again

Tiago's words
cut like knives
but oddly now
they make me feel right

Tiago's words
are way too much
but I scratch
I can see where possibly I am

They soak me like an emergency
They are made of three quarters pain
And the rest pure life.
Maybe Tiago is right.
His words are like light
In such a pitch black night

You could be using me
playing with me
A non-loving Humbert
for this ever nymphet
you'd be

Maybe it's time to stop
this crazy spinning wheel
from spinning to the point of breaking
I'll go down not into my hole,
but inside what I've felt
because sinking never was an option
I'll do what I want
I'll go with my mad friends
and have a party all alone.

We are not an exclusive relationship
But it excludes us

So here I am, heart broken in hand
Pen in the other, let my thoughts run and fight
And I'll float on air, but no more thick, spacey air
I've been ****** a considerable part of my life
so I don't remember what it is like...

So I'll be it again
but never again the same
So goodbye, you liar
but I hope we can be friends.

There is a stone in my heart
There is a blockage saving face
It's draining me, leaving me dry
Everything - twirling, spinning inside
Every day, a thread of mistakes.

There is something I process but don't grasp
I've been here before - somehow
I've seen the green plastic grass
I've seen the cloudless and threatening sky

I've been through a lot, so I want to become
the girl of my dreams, dreams pushed by the world
Get a younger lover, get along better with my parents.
I can't carry on with my own mind. My own desires.
I got too heavy for my own life.

I guess I can get off the train, step back again.
It takes discipline - how to tame feelings?
Today another messy knot in my head.
Today all the hell appears back again
but I can handle, not the same girl

He said, "you are no Tinder chick"
He said I will wait for you
He said I love you
He said "I had never felt this before"
He said, you wonderful disaster
He said, you're awesome
He said, I want to make you happy
He filled my head with beautiful birds
that died suddenly, slowly, unexplainably

His thick glasses sail away from me...

"Make something beautiful of the ugly", I said
I heard these words in my head

Tiny - like a big girl washed out and shrunk in the washing machine of life - her mind
Tiny - but not godly
Tiny - but not beautiful
not like a Little Kiss
but rather like a shadow of what has been
Tiny - grey and still again
Tiny - reduced
Tiny - stuck up in a dead me

Without you I crumble
Without you I'm not me
Without you I feel weak and I dissappear

Tiny - ugly schemes
a bird without wings, emotional limbs
to touch, to measure, to feel
again trapped in my own things
Tiny - powerless, meaningless
Tiny - a girl feeling at square one

Oh dear I got tired
but I don't know why
Do I?

Was it my pain in the chest
every Saturday night
was it paranoia
or was it God shedding some light

Was it my insecurity
playing tricks on me
or were you tricking me
with these chicks
I don't know - all of this
A part of me feels
like it has been heard so it doesn't scream

And I am not sure - but it's not us
I just feel overwhelmed, don't want to
be unright
We are coming to our end, and there are no tears in sight
I cried much before this came.

I can feel it in my bones - a new era comes
and it's up to me to learn from the rabbit hole
get bigger, never small
But the words freeze when they come to my mouth
I want to sing but I just blurt
Words get lost...so
I get lost, I get lost
Everything so critical, everything so strange
Everything so distant, everything on the edge
I just want to lick the blade...its taste
Don't let me die here, in a world so contained.
I don't want to cry, I just need my inner life.

And she said,
"I don't want love anymore,
I'm tired of men"
And I could feel all those words, girl...

And I said
"Let's spend some time
in an empty land
become women going our own path"

Who needs love and all the pain
such thing it entails?
Let's go to sleep
have hot dreams
that need not to be fulfilled
Let's curl up and be
Let's escape, let's ******* live
Let's spend time for us to heal

This is a plant that needs almost no water
but it needs it in fact
How to keep up? Solve this out

"Girl you got this"
Your desire you might get
If you work hard, put yourself out there
A capitalist poem? I must be out of myself!

Dreary poem, this is.
Like true life - **** this ****.
I am Philip Larkin today
Or at least I try to be.
Misplaced in space, a nice wound in my head.

Girl
With her head buried in papers
Struggling hard, prey to Amway beasts
And lowpaid jobs and pocket misery
Let's **** this ****. Get rich.
A **** me hard, all I really need.

Girl
With no money and too many needs
You've got freedom but you lack the wheels
To drive you away from here

And this fight for a penny
Makes sense because we are. Sad system this one!
Our promised land...even if we break up.
I'll rename it, claim land back.

Girl
Lost in a tough world
Stay your ground.
She knows
The meaning and the key
Is simply love
And for what love can't afford
(None of them really blissful things)
Hard work, and luck
(None of them glee)

Pain must be spoken
else you'll be broken
and you won't even notice
I can't speak out
it hurts too much

But I gotta overcome
The wound is there nevertheless
My screaming won't solve anything
but it will relieve this stress

The wound is there nevertheless
it just grows and grows and I look somewhere else
it's a good strategy, but you are still there
what's squeezing me so tight? I am out of breath!

Alice show me the way
the way to my own pain
so I can kick it out at once
You show me through my eyes
what I knew all the time

You make me sick! You make me feel all wrong!
I run away from pain, because pain is all I know
I oscillate between pure joy and hope
and sheer despair and ache in my heart

this eternal mismatch
i can't let myself be killed
but something's doing it
I don't care; I still moan in the in betweens

You never understood a thing! But Alice does!
Alice, have you thought of the damaged teens?
I did

Hey Anne Clark
I am fine, everything's right
You came to save me when everything was ****** up
But there is a dark spirit whispering to my ear
Poisoning my chest with ugly thoughts
I want to be your all
I want to put boundaries to the blowing wind
And I really only wish good, for you and me
I forget my own sins
Are they really sins? Should I be forgiven?
Should WE be forgiven?

Life encompasses everything, and I fear
that you might be pulling away from me...
I've been cheating on you, you know?
With a guy called Scott
How to behave? What to hope for?
He keeps forgetting and I keep panicking
He appears in my screen and I shake at his thoughts
Still not you
But you are my aim, my arrow, my bow, my all

There is an anxiety growing from a rose
A turbulent move in the clear waters of love
A potential river of tears sprawling from spring
A rose that withers with excitement and wish
Love won’t **** her; but love’s dregs will
A rose with thorns. A rose like you and me.
You can’t pluck out the thorns. You just have to kiss the rose,
All care, no gloves
The thorns will dissappear
With all care, all love

Tomorrow the tables will turn, images pile in my head
Your sweet kiss that turned sour is gone
but so is my anguish
The sky is clear tonight
So much fight, so much strife
You could not handle it and neither could I

I will miss this, but awhile
I see my uncertain future, I won't wait for that
Life never turns out the way you thought
And my life looks awake, I can hold no more
Oh you truly awakened me
I had been sleeping for too long.

I don't know what she really did
but it must be something big
I held the key to my very own gates
and she cheered

The birth is all mine
the creation, from my insides
but she helped me keep the pace
not to give up, not to die
to erase myself so I could get born
I will always thank her for that

"My happiness is you" - say never these words
mom tells you so
but you have fell down the hole
(and so did she)

To be focused on someone emotionally
for him to be your core
and he's not focused back on you
You swing to his rhythm
You dance his song
even though you want to get rid of
you are ******* stuck

This is the inner tragedy of life
To know that you had
and you won't
To reminisce about love
feel a pang in the heart
that leads nowhere
but to blackness and dark
to be helpless
to be lost

an empty space inside
no one can fill that right
This is the inner tragedy of life
yet we can't stop singing gleefully
to the death of us

Hell
has a very confusing shape
how could it be other way?
Hell
lives in a strange place

Hell is your parents' words
in adulterated thoughts
Hell is not being understood
and caring way too much

Hell is being drifted away!
I miss my old pain
for it was real though

Hell ends up always, says the sage
I have no other method
than trusting what he says
Hell is being away
from yourself
Powerlessness then

She's beautiful
made of scraps and pieces
behind the veil of the net
can you feel
her frozen breath?
She's so here because she's not there
She's not real - but yearns to be!
So filled to the brim with empty feels

Through the cracks of her life
something pours!
What's keeping her down - what makes her come out

Tumblerette - that's her
I am back, will you **** me under
again?
Is there a superforce watching
over my webpage?
I feel the pull of the past,
the pull of life
this is a different ride,
I could swear

She's coming to life
she dies, she dies, she dies!
This was beautiful
but it wasn't real...
yet there is no beauty
that completely misses it

Fake, fake everything.
Gotta go to sleep - reboot me
Please God don't keep me here

Ah, my sweet Icelandic crush.
I've been through you before.
I saw your face then, thought: ***?

Beauty is beauty I guess.
I never could break away from the spell.
But I must be able to separate
types of beauty

I was just clumsy
I am clumsy

Tumblr girls dedicate their lives
to guys they will never know
I am drowning with them tonight
I was one of them back in time

And you were sweet
until you popped in my hot dreams
You never were one!
You just came to trouble me

Everything is so intrincate and delicate
Everything is everything
Everything so dual
Everything so fake, so true

And this is a love fantasy
not true love or lust
this is a beautiful face
doing damage

Male muse
You are just like all of them
So destructive
Are you real?

I know heaven
because I dared to touch
the ground
My truths are warped
but they are my own

I like the Hangman so
because he sums everything I know

I know light
because I drowned
in the dark

The days I was lost
were key
to finding myself

And I know health is a lie
and I know illness so right
and I know right and wrong
lie so close and it feels so nice

I know what I know
and I do what I can with it
I tried not hard to grasp
it simply came along my path

Between two waters
I am
i don't know even how to call them
but they are there

You better flee, flee away from here!
And stay at the same time
an equilibrium you'll find
not to end up killed or killing
chase your true dreams
chase your true self

I find this is my place
I find these are my folks
I find I can make it in the city of lights
but not without you, my lovely darkness, my only light

The ugly beast, that *****
takes the spoons, makes them knives
to hurt both of us in the heart
That ugly *****, paranoid diagnosed
Makes me look for things which ain't
Pushing things further and further again
A delusional voice in my head
A fear corroding my veins
A pain that never fully leaves.

(The ugly beast, that *****
makes **** out of me
Is she my guardian angel or is she a diverting devil
trying to make my life hell and not be able
to live, to enjoy what I have?
Is she heaven sent? She can be hell-bent!)

The ugly beast
turns gold to ****
All she needs to hear and feel is LOVE
but oh no! Wait that's me
The beast merely drives to the darkest pit.

Who needs bloated words when one has fountains of life
Who needs fairy tales when magic lies everywhere like that

Bury it deep! All your fattened hopes and all that ****
All your expectation that bar you from catching it
(You never said I love you, and it's not something I need
because you are here everyday with me.
And it's not something I need to hear
because I don't give a **** about the thing. I explain myself:
I am -trying to- focusing on the scene, having fun
for the sake of it)
Who needs chains when one has wings!
Considerate lovers, nothing higher to which we can aspire
This is it; nothing to complain about but the ever bloat
Unbloat your heart!
**** your ego
seek your soul!
**** dependence
**** your comfort
trash out the habits
**** your ties
**** your barriers
**** the pain but be aware appeasing might turn to jail

What went wrong?

Unbound, free
Wandering the world - no restraints for me
in form of anxiety, fear, coerciOn or desperation
Totally freedom of action
and desire
I desire what I like, so I do what I like
I wander in stranger's beds at night...
I live in chaos, but the chaos loves me back
No explanations to give, no *****

Unbound, free
Like a butterfly in spring
In darker shades tHan she
But still roaring, wild and mean!
No pressures outside or inside me,
the compass is crazy but it is well fixed
Rather tan my own feasts and fears
And the clock ticks away and I don't care
And the night speaks on my ears pagan poetry
for me to put down in writing

Bold! Gone! Lustful! ****! Undone!
And it will end I know
This sweet vacation from the toil of the soul
where it doesn't belong

So many things happen in a week
when you're not at all asleep
You've broke my heart! So I ditch
Unbound, less of a girl I be
a woman just tasting life's flavors sweet.
Bold! Gone! Lustful! ****! Undone!

When I was
unexamined
things flowed
and sparked
at irregular intervals
of time

I expected nothing
and it happened
sweet something
sweet serendipity

Unfaithfulness fills the place
Terrible sweet sin of the human race
The wilderness can't be tamed
Is this why, oh unfaithfulness?
Unfaithfulness - from her you can't run away
Sometimes you're broken,
sometimes you break

It hurts sure it does
But how to run away from shimmering love when it
haphazardly
comes?
How to escape the terrible facts of life
A lesson hard learnt, trapped in a fire!
Unfaithfulness - are you that something?
That will save us by and from drowning
I really hate you, but I need you now
My fears, my desires - you knot them in one

So much because of your ******* sake!
We can't be soldiers to love's name
Polyamorous couples, cuckold ****
Locked up marriages, the following divorce
In betweenness, passage zones
where the devil kisses God

Mikael and Erika
Older men and their young chicas.
Those golden agonic threads that fate knits.
Further than human rules and needs to commit.

Hearts broken, like promises not entirely fake
and not entirely true do
Better not to play the game anymore
But you'll bite the bait, you'll fall
How to avoid love? ****** it and it will grow...
how to avoid
the construct of pain built around the greatest thing we know?
Tear down the wedding bouquets!
Trade 'em for a bed, stained by *** and sweat
Tear down THE PAIN! Tear down all the accesory leading to death!
Let me drown, in the naked essence.

I know he cheats - I cheat on him
because our wounds are deeper and so are our needs
I burn fairy tales,
become a tearful tough *****.
Hard as steel, just getting on with this.
I am no kid. This is the gruesome, ****** price we pay to be here,
people with feelings, drives and ****.
We don't care, but we all ache!
Sometimes you're hitten, sometimes you hit.
Sometimes you die, sometimes you -slowly, unadvertedly-
stick the swords in.

And yet it is small, unimportant
like everything

It's a sweet feeling
calm and delicate
and probably not as everlasting
as pain can be
But...

I am an alien in the world
I am not like them
And I never wished such a thing
I cannot help being myself
But...

I'm starting to enjoy, the ride
Never lose who I am
Never lose what I've found
Kisses, thrills, the will to leave!

(It's a naturalness in my life
I never knew before)

I am getting used to this
And I'm seeing life expanding in front of me
And things are sweetly functional
and the dysfunctional shows its face for me to slay
And all the waves washing me out
are part of life
That I'm being myself
and it's working out pretty well

All the pain makes sense, everything is still and moving
Everything is calm and shaking
I'm moving limp, but I'm moving
Optimistic moment - tears will follow

Everything is normal, everything is natural
The waves pulling me and pushing me - natural
Is it for real?
Things start to make sense
My life is configuring itself - the spells work
In all directions, good and wrong
The spell of loneliness, the spell of the house - dead
the spell of a new life
calling out for my name!
I make sense - for once!

Me? A part of the world?
I never had thought it, I would have not bet for it ever before.

But still, I don't feel I am a human or an alien anymore...
I am somewhere still to fathom
I am half everything

Oh, the lack of connection!
the eternal fear!
the one minute sadness!

I feel so suppressed
People around mean stress
I thought I loved y'all
but I get on my own nerves

The weight of loneliness
crushing their shoulders!
My spell, my binding spell
My freeing, freeing spell
All over them...
They fall at my feet
and i fall for them back
in my own very way

I fell for him, when my man left me
But it is gone gone gone
His eyes are away from me in my mind
If he knew what I feel
would he run from me
that i'm so pathetic to fall
for someone i've never seen

He's unworthy of such an ode
But there it is, all I wrote
I don't love him - not at all
but today I got high again
on the remembrance of his love

How you pushed me against the wall
to kiss me in ways I didn't know
The story of my self-contained passion
that I didn't know, I didn't know

It was such a regression - so sweet the air around me!
The places where love breathes
My own heart's a tour through Madrid
My brain tries to work - but I can only feel it all

...if one can call what you gave "love"!
I should have seen it coming before
But I didn't, and I misread
your words and gesture,
you so well disguised!

You're an unworthy starter of riots.
No prize for you in my heart
But today in the subway, I was spawning
I nearly lose my mind (it was fun!)

The happiness preceeding the rain
A rain that does not wash but rather creates pain
The happiness opening my eyes to the fact - I care
I don't mind, better to live than to merely exist

The news is a mess
I am afraid we will be next

I trust you, and I trust us
but the fear freezes my bones
only sometimes

How the world turned a nightmare - no one knows
but I'll clutch to us, just in case it stops

Born under the same star, touched under the skies
It hurts
The hole in my heart, with scissors cut
You're moth to my flame
You'lll get burnt...
You fell for my magic, black and white it is
You're a siren song to me
I lick my sadness like an ice cream...

I need to keep knowing myself
And to accept that I don't decide in my head.
While struggling slowly towards the sea...

Desire frozen
what a fun, ironic way to be
the waters, way too cold
so they freeze, their flowing stops

Desire bound
Would rip his clothes off
A crazy broken vessel in my brain
or what?

I ****** up again - myself
Never smothered, this fire
working with wAter even higher

Dry waters - what could be or what it is?
running inside me
paralyze me
move me to this

Would have kissed you
Like a teenage schizoid girl
In a stupor herself made
But let's not lie - I'm not the ******* same
This hunger never stops
I'm like a hungry, hungry Wolf
for love...

I am not looking for your ****
as much as I look for love
I crave skin on skin
I crave sweet sweetest things

Little boy, my big boy
He's so beautiful it hurts
but the space between us
makes us dizzy
makes him feel aimless
makes me feel stupid

And I go away
without a Kiss from your lips.
And I leave
with a taste bittersweet.
And I wonder
which are those things I feel
I wonder about my Friends
the mess, sometimes beautiful, we are in
I wonder about we pull away from
what we love the most.

I might survive, or at least not fall apart
No fainting and no tears
I might pass this stage and still be alive
This time I didn't cry, I didn't shout
but ah, my breathe...
I could barely breathe, still.

Even if I have different skins for different times
The reason why I die and I survive
I will never forgive you
Another wound you inflicted
You think you're right
but you're the one that remains unloved
I know your ways
better than anyone else does
it's another stone to count
for the times you hurt

I'm not really surprised about this
I always knew

Been thinking about it all
what does it mean and how it fits
in my map
maybe too much

I am like a matrioshka
a box
you gotta reach my core
I gotta do it too

Sometimes ***** others rotten away
With no kind of sense
(That's my aim!)
Because in the end it all fits

Why do I give myself away
to no one in the end? Dying so unaware
Lose my golden thread
that leads me to such a good place?

I think I liked him, like I could like anyone else!
And in the everyday charm, I fell for
And I lose my vital spark, for living life
what a paradox! what a strife!
I slipped once, not twice

So unsure! I drive to my destination
So lost, I find my direction
Why do I cling to men, instead of clinging
to myself
so I can really then turn to them

where is the lever I pulled wrong
where are my notes, where is the antidote?
No time for panicking anymore -

The wounds and the disease didn't leave
It will chase me till I face the demon clear
Maybe all I need is time - to heal
Maybe there is something wrong I need to steer
The answer won't be spoken or said, but found
Where am I now?

If you think I am going to put up with that ****
You are wrong; I won't
If you wanna ditch me you should be strong
And tell it to my face, break my heart in just one step

If you think I am going to let pass weeks
without your kiss
If you think that I will be waiting here
that I will be at your feet
that you can play me with ease
you are wrong, dear

And it will hurt indeed
but I can get out of this
I will live in my room or spree-**** the world
but my heart is marked by you alone
Have you ever been in love with me at all?

Only time will tell as it it always the case
Been two years waiting for the end
..but you've said it's okay, we can try
there is no use in crying
I have to trust you, it's my good vow
to put all my heart in just one card
my gamble to stay alive

There is an angel whispering softly in my head
we speak our own language, no one understands
And they tell me to stop harming myself
with love as a pretext
I read the signals I'm sent and I feel at ease with them
Am I losing my mind? Am I regaining it?

I can't help wondering about the rhythms of life
About how revelations always stand out
Because I've never been here - or have I?

What are we going to do with our bodies? That forcE and that drain
I am fighting night and day, to understand the riddle of it
Your love is a riddle to me

I'm being driven by a forcE, my beloved INTP, my love!
Because it hurts but I'm prompted from above
something we gotta do
Angels talk to me,
Michael Glatze, I can feel you
Enlightened, confused, clean, wise, unsure

Wait for me!
This fattened dream of desires and fears.
Wait for me to strike back
Wait for me to let my hair down
Go back to the town
with a shiny new gun
that I had all this long ago time
Wait for me to ring my bell like Anita did
it is ringing
can you feel its sting
ha! truth is it has just begun
I would run through you
if only I just could

Wait for me to be fixed
wait for me to fully get a piece
Wait for me to come back
Wait for me to fly, to reach my dreams
To reach the core of me
This fattened dream of hopes and pressure
Of hidden owners of the gates to the kingdom
Waters running free, but ***** sometimes
I cannot wash
my desire in them, refresh myself

Now stand open the doors
It's not a matter of body
it's my whole soul

What do you know
the way that we live
The way that we love
the way that we be
The thing that we build
You are away, away from my town

You have a filthy mouth
even though you use soap
The venom seeps out
You poison my thoughts

I know you've gotten better with years
But essence is something you cannot cheat

Why do you criticize
what you don't understand
Why do you throw a shade
to life's most sacred

What do you know of me and him
I think certainly you don't know me
Time to dismiss you, all your poison
Drown in him instead
And never listen to what they say
I have bitten the core
It's not what you all have thought!

It's making me cry
It's making me fight
Feel not alright

Did I have to seal a pact
Did I have to put a barrier
a filter
to touch the sky

What is true? What is a lie?
I need you by my side
But my mind always drives me mad
I try to find answers
but the compass is broken

I see death, I see hate
poisoning me
I poison myself
so easily

Layers of the brain
different filters to look through
You walked this path with me
Eternally I thank you
But am I strong enough to?

But this morning I was unwell.
Bad feeling in my guts, in myself.
Strange metaphors for strange sensations
Layers of the mind in integration
sometimes
Erasing the bad
It happens - sometimes

I saw her mouth open and close
And I heard nothing but my internal void
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you
I miss myself! Too.

Yesterday it was a nice day - at least there was love, clarity
Today is hell - no love, no clarity

You calm down your own fires
The ones you fueled well and strong before.
I am your fire, so take care of me.
So I don’t die, and can make you warm.

You need no diamonds, you need nothing more
But your own will to make me burn.
I am your fire, so take care of me.
So I don’t die, and can make you warm.

Just drop me a line, “i miss your touch”
“I’m away from you but i miss you much”
Anything from you.
You are my fire. Keep me warm.

We are each other’s fire, and so we burn…
The conflagration of us…
The relieving fire of existence

How to talk about -broken magic-?
How to talk about twisted angles?
About corrupting fairy dust
Disintegrating at the wrong touch
Making a game of yourself
Uneasiness fills the air
Dislocated time and place
Yesterday was a time waste
I shouldn't have been there

Did you ever think you are smarter
than life itself?
Somehow, girl, you were

I isolate myself because I can't stand
being in a world that knows so little
about who I am

My fears found something worse than them
It was a confession not well dealt
It was a non studied thought
with all the potential to harm, though
It's a bomb disrupting
the pattern of the heart
It's ******* that hurts

And so I shook, because I broke
thought of death and then
death didn't seem so bad to come

Symbols pass in front of my eyes
and so do tears
I see cycles, cycles of fear
And my heart stays broken at the seams.

Did you ever think you were wiser
than the deaf beat of the all-encompassing drums?
Girl, poor one, she was

And I stand dead
after all happened
or maybe just tired
because I still fight

But it's broken, it will have to mend

Matt Smith
in the computer screen
lights me up
Doctor Who and bowties
My mind wanders, my heart flies
And is distracted from itself
do I find myself that way?

How to know what the heart wants
and what the body wants?
every leer carries inside
the germ of something more
every ***** thought
is the cleanest of them all

Everytime you are desperate
seeking for a stranger's embrace
you are looking for the eternal source
to fill your empty space...
You don't need a man. You don't need a girl.
You need a lifeline
to the core of the earth
something that I can barely express
(his love...in his mattress)
you are not in need of ***
you are in need of all it takes

And I have this feeling
that times comes and goes at irregular intervals.
That we are (un)stuck in time,
and it reappears but never goes back.
(I think too much)

This skin will also die.
My love reincarnates.
Like the Doctor does.

Ah, sweet urge.
Won't you come and see me more?

Watch me! I ain't who I was
I am who I've always been

You turn your head - you can't believe it's me
I can't either believe - I got freed
Watch me proud in the streets
Watch my madness gone sweet
My madness gone the right way, finally