Have a wonderful christmas eve!!!
24/12/2024

It felt strange and a little confusing
when you sent me that greeting.
Even the night before, we hadn’t really connected, had we?
Why? What moved you to do it?

I kept wondering—why? What was going on with you?
That Christmas Eve made me smile.
I was at church, attending the service that night.
I just stared at your message, silent in my thoughts.

I didn’t want to reply, but somehow,
I did.
Maybe it seemed like I didn’t care,
but I replied anyway—and deep down, I knew
that one reply would lead to many more… until today.

To you…

Merry Christmas. May you find your own meaning in this sacred day.
I believe that true joy lives in each of our hearts.
Let’s celebrate Christmas with moments
that will always be etched in our hearts.

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

Sharing a Seat with You ⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖
Happy Sunday, Defta. Happy serving on that day.
Yes, that day—December 15, 2024, it turns out!

"For the first time in my life"...

A beautiful Sunday, a bright morning, a clear sky.
Life goes on, meeting many people, days turning from dark to light.
God weaves every life story, through joys and sorrows,
And that is why life has led me to meet you.

December 15, 2024, we met and served together.
I was late to church, yet still, I met you.
You wore black, from your shirt to your pants—like your beautiful hair.
I felt a little shy, but I still gave my best smile.

Carefully, I watched you, yet you seemed happy.
So I let you be, in your happiness—that was enough.
You were free, more relaxed—perhaps nervous, perhaps awkward.
But it seemed like you enjoyed that day—I think, maybe.

If only you knew, Defta...
I long to reach the beautiful harbor within your heart.
With my finest ship, I wish to dock there, to stay there.
Your smile has slain me more than a thousand times.
I fell—fell in love, and love has brought me down...
Right into the sweetness of you.

Sunday Service...
I looked in every direction—west, east, south, and even north.
Inside the church, I found you sitting in the west—right behind me.
I saw you, and for the first time, I decided to go there.
So, I prepared myself, ready to dock that day.

I came with everything I had.
Instead of hiding in shyness,
I gathered my courage—closer, even closer, until I was right beside you.
I let go, I felt happy—it was extraordinary for me,
Leaving my comfort zone, just to feel comfortable with you.

"May I sit here?" I asked…

And you know what? It all happened that day.
Inside the church, we sat side by side—only 2 centimeters apart.
That was so close.
We talked about random things, exchanged certain smiles.
And for sure—I won that day. Yes, I won…
Won against my own fears, my hesitation to approach you.
What do you think, Defta?

For the first time, we shared a Bible,
Shared the Word of God, reading and reflecting together—just the two of us.
God knew it all.
There was no happiness meter,
So I couldn’t measure how happy I was.
But at the core of it—I was happy, truly happy with you.
What about you, Defta?

If only you knew...
The winds of the sea within you and me became one,
Carrying my ship to anchor in the harbor of your heart.
You awakened my courage,
And made me see—you were truly there.
I reached out with all my strength,
And so, I think—you won.

Our smiles—they looked the same if you noticed closely...
Our laughter was different, but free—just like our feelings for each other.
Your hands—soft, gentle, warm—
Made me long to hold them forever.
Your ocean, the waves of your sea,
Have swallowed me whole…
Into a love so deep, immeasurable.

If I have you in the future…
Believe me, we have shared the same things—
And yet, we are different, opposite in ways, in culture, in habits.

If you have me in the future, believe me—
Happiness is not the key,
But the anchor of my loyalty will always hold it steady.

Only with you, we shared the same seat.
Only with me, we saw the world more beautifully.
Only with you, we embraced different waves,
And that made us find and create similarities.

Defta, to me, you are everything I have ever written
Since that day—
Since I first learned to read and count,
Since I first saw the world and learned to distinguish its colors.

Deogifta 17—like your birthday, my sweet lady!

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.
Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻

December 15, 2024 – GKI Bromo, Malang City.

14 December 2024

Ah... I remember that evening, yes, a Saturday evening,
After the rain embraced the dry earth,
Leaving behind the dampness of sweet memories.
I was at church, waiting for the youth Christmas to begin, that evening.

We hadn't met yet—where were you sitting?
What time did you arrive, that evening?
Did you come? Were you late? Or did you fall asleep?
I spent my time enjoying the moment, waiting for you at church.

For a brief moment, both you and I, we were just waiting,
Waiting to arrive, to greet, to talk, to smile, to gaze, to admire.
Hey, Defta? What are you thinking about now?
Am I there in your thoughts? If I am, call out my name in your mind.

The crowd at the end of the story led me to welcome you.
You walked toward me, with that sweet smile, those beautiful eyes—it was you!
I remember, you wore blue with a touch of white.
Maybe I’m wrong, but you were truly dazzling that night, honestly!

I saw you, walking so gracefully with your lovely smile.
I followed, admiring you in my heart, "God, this is so beautiful."
I wanted to come closer, but I was too shy, so I kept my distance to feel at ease.
You should know, you made me follow you—almost five meters behind.

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

Just our brief conversation

December 11, 2024, and beyond—

Me: Why do you have to be the moon?
When you can be a star with your own light!

You: Sometimes, when the light is out, I feel okay just being the moon :).

Me: You are more beautiful than the moon—if only everyone on Earth knew. Why? Because the moon shifts, but you stay—always in sight.

You: I'm perfectly content if not everyone knew. I'm in sight for the loved ones, the ones dear to me.

Me: I've observed you a lot; I wish I could have understood you, even just once!

You: Just like the stars, they don’t know whether they’re being watched. They are indeed hard to understand, for they are thousands of millions of miles away from Earth... from where you are.

Defta, do you know?
You're scribbling on my heart—with a love that leaves me struggling to keep up.

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

Hi, Defta. I understand, you’re very tired.

Today, have you been grateful?
Today, has your exhaustion made you sit and pray for a moment?
Today, when you returned home, did you speak to God?
You’re tired—all day, every day—dealing with the sick.

I’m sorry, when you were struggling, I wasn’t there.
I arrived at the very last moment, just as you finished your fight.
I saw it, I felt it for a second—you’re really exhausted, aren’t you?
Rest for a while, and let my prayers embrace you even warmer.

For the doctor of the future…

Hi, Doctor. Of all the illnesses in history, which one is the deadliest?
Could it be… falling in love with you? Is it painful or soothing?

Hi, Doctor. My arteries are failing to carry my blood properly.
Instead, they carry love for your arteries. Is that wrong?
Is that a fatal disease?

Hi, Doctor. If I die from a lack of white blood cells,
Please don’t be sad—because my red blood cells will remain inside you,
Carrying every last breath of my life,
And they will settle deep within the chambers of your heart.

I am no medical expert, just an ordinary young man,
Who keeps repeating: “I have fallen for you, for your heart,
And you have made me feel more alive since that day.”

Like capillaries—thin-walled but capable of exchanging substances—
Love exists in our hearts,
Flowing between us, connecting us.
Don’t be afraid, for I live within your blood,
Flowing through your veins as you do through mine,
Helping you breathe, keeping you alive.
And if I am gone someday, please take care of that.

Defta, if you are tired in the future,
If you are in pain someday,
Remember, I will wipe away your tears.
Joy will take their place, and in that moment, I will hold you—bringing you peace.

Don’t just miss me—feel me in your heartbeat.
I live there.
As long as you live, I will live within you.
Don’t be sad, because whenever you miss me, I will be there in that very moment.
So don’t be afraid—"I am behind you," watching over you at all times.

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

December 7 - 10, 2024 – How can I make your wish come true?

I love you—always and forever, remember that.
I love you beyond all the greatest wishes in this world.
It’s not about three wishes, because I’m no wish-granter.
I’m just a genie who has fallen in love—with the sweetest soul that breathes and smiles every day. That’s you, Defta!

Why wish for a soulmate? Is it something you can order like food?
Why wish for a soulmate when I am here, falling for you?
Why wish for a soulmate when a simple ice cream is enough to bring you close to me?
Don’t wish for a soulmate—they don’t exist. But look at me, I do!

Our conversations stretch long, every word, every feeling between us,
Even the wind and tiny creatures at that moment paused in awe.
Yes, in awe—watching us as love takes over!
Isn’t it beautiful? Knowing you, knowing me—isn’t that wonderful?

Why should I search for happiness somewhere far away,
When just looking at your smile is already enough?

Enough—just you beside me, me beside you.
Enough—you looking at me, me looking at you.
Enough—you guiding me, me guiding you.
Enough—you being my happiness, me being your everything!

"Scandal of Grace" ♪

We are threads in a grand tapestry, woven with care.
Each one unique, yet all meant to be there.
In the fabric of existence, every soul plays a role,
Connected by love—the language of the heart.

Shall we see how far we can go?
I hope that when your hair turns gray, I’ll still be there.

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

December 5, 2024, I still remember it clearly.

GOD, do You know? My beloved was sitting right behind me.
That day, we were having a Christmas rehearsal for Sunday school.
I was sitting down when she sent me a photo—
she was behind me, and I was overjoyed!!!

In short, I was a little surprised.
The woman I admired was there at that moment.
I walked closer, bringing my best smile for her.
She also brought her best smile—for me.

I was closer to her, inside the church.
"Come and join the Galilea class?" I said.
I kept inviting her, over and over, hoping she would give in—
just as she had melted my heart, time and time again.

I invited her while letting the others know.
Hahaha… it was funny seeing her face,
unable to refuse at that moment. Hahaha. I’m sorry.

As I left, her older brother—who is also my good friend—
gave his support. I was amazed.

Defta, if I may say this, again and again…
I couldn’t take my eyes off you.
This was the most honest feeling I whispered in my heart
amidst the crowd inside the church that day.

A smile I could recognize anywhere—yours alone.
My freezing point had changed, turning into a melting point.
As if even heaven knew how happy I was that day.
So, I believe heaven already knew, hihihihi.

Keep existing, being present, living, and blooming.
Keep being strong like a steadfast rock.
Keep smiling, laughing, and rejoicing
in hope, even in trials.

I deserve happiness, Defta.
And you deserve your favorite flowers—
to bloom and become the beautiful petals that live within you.

You make me too honest,
so if I say, "I have fallen for you, once again,"
know that I truly mean it.

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.