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a contradiction contracted in
lowest terms are
you.
[it’s metal edges]

your beauty is
of
a
garden
(suspended at mid-
clouds), to enter
and

to say

that in such a
variety of
flowers
there
can not
be
one that
attracts
you

to pick it

to dismantle it
and
to
neglect
the
rest.

[it’s plasticized segments]

you know how to
quickly imprint
yourself
on me

when

you laugh
at times
and
conversely
you weep
and

you are like

those skies
that shake me
to my core

when

they are
blinding
on one hand
and
violently bleak
on the other

so

clearly
fractured
they shake
me pierce
me
pierced
i am
by

you.

[it’s just thinned points]

imagine if
a chameleon
started
to
acquire
each
gradation
of
another
creature
in the form
already
similar
to
it:

where
could
he
ever
escape?

[it’s inconstant semicircles]

(i can not
delineate
you
it is like
sketching
a tidal
wave
nobody
can:

painters

invent them)


[and it’s shoved arches]


i’ll tell you
of
a
woman
her soul
shattered
and

subsequently

imprisoned
splinter by
splinter
in hail
stones

she

fell
and
she felt
herself
crashing
at the same
instant
millions
of times

however

she
never
went
insane.

[it’s torn curves]


(and I know well
how a continuity
interrupted
succeeds
to make
you
fumble
convulsively
but it’s not
enough
for me to
restrain
myself
don’t
ask
me
to)

[it’s petrified vertical axes]

what i see
is
a cross
section of
enclosure
handfuls with
disconcerting
efficiency
consisting
of prisms
and

you know how to decompose

yourself inside
an innocence
delimited
you proceed
by inconstancies
you lacerate
metabolizing
you struggle
silencing
and

i could
only
teach you
one thing:

gray is not
a faded
version
of
black.
 Dec 2013 copperots
moonlit
the look in her eyes
gave her away
every time.
no matter how many times
she insisted she was fine
all you had to do
was look her
dead in the eye,
then
and only then
could you tell that she,
in fact,
was never really fine.
 Dec 2013 copperots
moonlit
i miss you more than you think.
(deleted)

i haven't smiled in a while, but when i think about you i do.
(deleted)

you left your sweater here. i wear it to bed sometimes. do you want it back? [it still smells like you.]
(deleted)

i still remember how your favorite color was the sky right before sunset.
(deleted)

you said you loved me, what happened?
(deleted)

i'm still so sorry. i didn't mean to push you away.
(deleted)

please just hear me out. let me explain.
(deleted)

i left my beanie at your house. i know it was your favorite. can i come get it?
(deleted)

i wish you knew how i still felt about you.
(deleted)

i hope you haven't moved on, because i sure haven't.
(deleted)

i listened to real friends today, i remember when you made me listen to them. all i could think of was you.
(deleted)

do i still mean anything to you?
(deleted)

god i wish you knew how often i think about your eyes. i still think they resemble forest trees.
(deleted)

it's been two months. i'm still torn up.
(deleted)

i have spent so many night cuddling up to my pillow wishing it was you.
(deleted)

i can't think straight because i keep thinking about what you're doing right now.
(deleted)

do you still think about me?
(deleted)

i didn't know my heart could shatter over and over until i met you.
(deleted)
we could've been in love. i'm so sorry.
(deleted)

is this still affecting you as much as it is me?
(deleted)
send her with a ribbon
and "i'm sorry"
on her lips
because girls should feel ashamed
of the bodies they possess.
it's sunday
and the dog lies on the rug
the fire spits
and the leather chair
is devoid of human warmth.
the scene is picturesque
a cabin fit for the woods
the books are dusty,
pages worn,
it could have been lived in-
but this place is just a skeleton.
july, she lied to me
because summer in my hair
is ending.
the smell of frost
pours from the iced over window panes

and it's darker
and forests are naked

distraught in their skinny wardrobe
vulnerable and staring.

doe eyes meet me through a snow covered sheet
and summer its okay
that you're gone.
skin stretches into mountain ridges
i am a fetus
wanting to bloom inside of you
to meet your heart
and cup it within my soul
to see your beauty from deep within
and stoke the fire that warms your veins;
with me you'll never
be cold again.
 Dec 2013 copperots
karuna
Today i decided the past can't haunt me forever.

So i looked at the notes and scribbled words,
that represented who i was,
a bit more than a year ago.
And i wished to wash them away away,
in the wistful waves of an of forgetting.

But i recently learned,
that forgetting will do me no good.
Because the things that are forgotten continue to crawl there way back,
and try to tear through the holes in those paper thin walls,
that you build just to block them all out.

So instead of forgetting,
I tore up the fragments of old thoughts,
that i had once scribbled out so carelessly.
And burnt the cold stony documents,
that they said depicted a better future for me.

as I looked at the tiny shards of paper,
covered in crumpled up words.
and watched the hot hungry flames,
eat up the cries of the past.
I saw the once so meaningful sentences,
fall apart into meaningless words.
and I watched the things that I filled with so much contempt,
crumble to ashes and dust.

I felt that chapter of my book has been finished.
The last open door has been closed.

I know that the past will come back to me,
time after time, after time.
But I think there are already enough ghosts in the world,
that I can let go
and no longer be haunted  by mine.
When I think of our love to date
All that we've done together
these are the moments that stand out

first
New Year's Eve
We woke up early and went to a diner
then spent the afternoon going for a drive
sitting in your car
no music playing, little conversation
enjoying the snow covered scenery
you stopped to buy mice for your snake
and I stopped to chat with the parrots

Second
A January snow day
We spent all morning and afternoon in bed
watching the snow from your window
you took me furniture shopping
we wandered through the store
debating shape and color
learning about leathers
afterwards you took me to the mall
showed me a small shop that sold art
we finished off the day by cooking together
and ettouffee I shall never forget

Third
lying in my bed in February
listening to folk music and your heart beating
a nervous rush pulsing through my veins
I told you I wanted to tell you something
that I was scared
and that I loved you

Fourth
driving home from a beach vacation
your dog snuggled on my lap
fields of corn dancing as we drove by
daydreaming of our future together
my heart hoping that you wrote me into your plans

May I write a million moments on notebook paper
May our love last forever
May we grow old together
They are both my questions and my hopes
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