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Chaos Jul 2015
Maybe one day
You'll understand
Everything I did
You'll realise
It's better this way
You'll remember
All the good
And forget the bad
Maybe one day
You'll forgive me
For hurting you
The way I did
You'll be able to
Hear my voice
Without the pain
And the heartache
Maybe one day
You'll be able to
Look at me again
Without remembering
The tears you wasted
Thinking of me
You'll understand
It was for your good

*and maybe one day
i will forgive myself
Chaos Jul 2015
All I can hear
Are these voices in my head
Telling me the things
Every person dreads
The horrible words
Are screamed at me
They poke around
In each nook and cranny
These voices they whisper
The most terrible things
They are masked and disguised
As beautiful songs to sing
It's not until the night comes
That I begin to realise
These voices in my head
Are full of dark lies

*but still
all I can hear
are these voices
in my head
Chaos Jul 2015
All I know is that sitting here, waiting for you has consumed my whole life. Now that I am finally moving on I don't know what to do. My life was once for you and now that it's not, I am nothing.
Chaos Jul 2015
I can tell you don't really know what it's like to be all alone. You think you do, but you really don't. You've never experienced that hollowness inside, that inability to have someone there to just talk to. You've never experienced the gut wrenching ache when you see people laughing, kissing or even just walking together. You've never awake lain in bed at night wondering what's so wrong with you that nobody even pretends to like you. You've never fallen asleep with tears staining your cheeks as once again you cried and cried until you couldn't breathe all because you know tomorrow won't be any better than today. You've never had to sit at a table for one with everyone else at tables for at least two. You've never felt that loneliness that rides around on your shoulders and in your heart, plaguing you, haunting you, breaking you down until you are nothing but a shell of what you once were. Trust me when I say you don't really know what it's like to be alone, because if you did, then you wouldn't be trying to sympathise with me or pretending you know how I feel. You would do what all lonely people do when they meet another lonely person, you would just sit and listen to the unspoken words and try to fill just a little bit of that emptiness that resides inside.
Chaos Jul 2015
I've come to that place
Where we used to hide
From all our worries
And all our fears
I see you everywhere
In the trees, in the air
I feel your eyes on me
Even though your not here

It seems that this town
Likes to remind me
Of all the things we did
And all the things we said
For I can't turn a corner
Without seeing your face
Or feeling a tug in my heart
For all that we've lost
Chaos Jul 2015
I was once so excited
Just to come home
But now I dread it
For it makes me feel alone
Especially as I see you
Everywhere I go
It kills me inside
And makes the tears flow
Chaos Jun 2015
Tonight
I can't seem to stop the tears
From slicing down my skin
And the pain wont leave me
Tonight
I don't have to pretend
That everything is a-okay
And happy sunshiny days
Tonight
I am allowing myself to break
Into a million different pieces
Scattered across my floor
Tonight
I will let my raw soul loose
With all it's demons and ghosts
To wreck havoc upon the walls
But only for tonight
*just for tonight
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