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Mom
you shouldnt have said that.
i'm not worthless
i'm not a nobody
i'm trying
i recieve love
from everybody
but
you.

I'm no barbie doll.
I dont have perfections
I'm far from them.
but I'm not worthless
I'm trying.
i wanted you.
but you dont realize
you hurt me
i hurt myself
today
cuts on my palm
cry out thew words
'ABSOLUTELY WORTHLESS.'


no.please
i'm not
at least lie to me i'm not.
cause
i'm trying.please.
why does she do that,all the time? i am always trying.

©Complicated charmer 2013
The night had been pretty obnoxious,
twisting and turning sleeplessly,
various jagged up thoughts provoking me in,
i rubbed my eyes,
constantly

washed my face
to get a more clear picture of myself,
****,i still look the same,
the same old me,
ugly,
scarred,
bruised,
weird cheeked,
abnormal finger shapes,ugh,
everytime i look in the mirror,
i hope to see an improvement.

but i fail,
all the time,
i mean,
just for once,if i could be
satisfied.
for a minute,
and still tell myself,
"phew,you did look alright than before,though for a few seconds, wow,"

NO.
doesnt happen ,now.
i try to  be  as positive as i can,
only if it could re-create my distorted face image
and i could confidently talk to guys or anybody else,for that matter,
eye-to-eye.

if i could be confidently walk without hiding my scars from people,
who might just crack a joke
or prank up
or ***** on me

i'm
sick and tired of all of this

Help me now, or watch me leave.
that shall happen,v soon.
i'm pretty ******* up. the more i try to look good,the harder it gets and the more impossible it seems. i'm tired. i wait for miracles or i shall trouble myself more and more. :c

©Complicated charmer 2013
and theres a lot going on inside my head
some issues,i wish i could just properly mend

alas,they just dont seem to let me go
but,
i wish things could just beautifully flow.

words come and go
without a thought,
thoughts jag my brains
should i speak about it
or not?

i'm caught up more than i ever could be
i wish to just take a breath
close my eyes
fake a smile
and drown myself in the perennial sea
i'm very very stressed.thoughts are killing me
i read poems with girls lamenting and ranting about how their guy left them,broke hearts and stuff
and here i'm standing
when i was the one to call it off,even when he loved me so much.but I didnt feel the same any longer.
instead of cheating on him with some other guy,i confessed it all,b'*** thats what we guys used to do,no secrets.
but now he hates me.but loves me too. but i like somebody else now . I stand here like some culprit .i feel like i'm one of the guys in those poems and i feel like a loser.
am i wrong?
please tell.
its painful.
very
very
painful.
ughg
you're still here
when i close my eyes.
you're not all long gone.
you're STILL HERE
in my heart
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