I think
my
*heartbeats always tell lies
like all the time

they remind me,when
i'm sleeping
with my ear
close to my heart.

that i'm living.
still.
alive.
but the truth is,
that
actually
I'm not.

I
   am
                     dying
every
single

day
of            my LIFE

I never thought
in a thousand years
i could ever get caught
in the midst of a scam
by my peers
my reputation sank
sank like the titanic
Some girls' prank
ended up making me a  manic...

i swear ,those days
i never wished to face
all day long,weaker became my prays,
my thoughts, all so evil and pure
just couldnt keep pace

being called a S.L.U.T.
is not any girl would ever invite
but would rather Fright
wrong perceptions & notions
left no room for emotions
i was sick
and    b
r
    o
                 k
e
    n

&

t
    o
r
  n
"its all going to be fine",they had sworn.

But things just didnt seem to get better.
rather worse,,
i wished i could just stop Breathing and then leave some letter
I didnt wanto live any *******  more , that REMORSE....

Yes, i wanted to skip breathing
and then sit and write
Struggling for oxygen,
         finding words,
Struggling for life,
    only if i could just get a knife
and end my pain.

Who got bullied?
I
who got withered?
Me.
who got bothered?
Me.
Still who got blamed?
I.
By my folks, my peers,
{screams }

All  DORKS

Alone
I used to weep,
the pain and regret
i could just feel ,
feel it all seeping in.
inside my aching soul.
that why me?

Those days in history I wish I never repeat them-self
when a girl is tortured for being herself,
i didnt do any wrong
just struck a pose
and it all ended up in a debate so long
long as the NILE,
seemed o end
" we are all by your side",they just arent tired to pretend.
pretend,every single second,
minute,
hour,
day,
weeks,
months,
years,
all the time.
the story is now this old.
a year old today.
the day i was surrounded by a group,
or rather a pack of
wolves.
that'd just come closer
    and closer
                 and closer
to me.
I shout.
even today.
when i hear them all.
echoing,
          shouting,             laming,                  haunting.
oh Good God!


One thing they do perfectly,
is make her cry all day endlessly,
i know you were hotter
I know you were slimmer
I know you had straighter hair
And,a-n-d
owned shoes more than five-six fairs
i know you were popular
i know i wasnt any of the above.
But that didnt seem to bother me ,then.
until you tried to use them to put me down.

Wow, How great ?

just how well we twist words,
write stories and manipulate.
you should've been in the drama club!
was i the onyl one left to attack for flubs?

each word we possibly knew
to something that could hassle
for somebody to tussle ?
even if it meant
taking away her life,
because you didnt know
how good she naturally was
at being fragile?


be careful for the days to come,
b'*** you dont know
howscary she was &
how scarier she could possibly get?

smiling that i was such a fool to push you away from me and then crave for you later

for once i felt
i will be immortal
or maybe
live a thousand years
with him by my side,
holding hands,
having babies
together in misery
together forever.

that one invisible memory
BURNING
  BURNT

for once i felt
i shall reach the heights
where nobody could touch
i shall rock
i will smile
i shall travel
i will sigh
now the almost-next-to-impossible
dreams seem hard
because i'm not patient.
for i shall do harm
to myself
so the aspirations too
i watch them
BURNING

and so they are
finally
BURNT

all i am doing is
watching then burn
and they are all
now turning into
white ashes

white b'*** i will
not anymore metaphorise  them
to dark demons that
will someday rip me apart
and break me down
because i will someday
not let 'em get
burnt  anymore*


.....

Days like these lead to
Nights like this leads to
Love like ours
You light the spark in my bonfire heart
People like us, we don’t need that much
Just someone that starts, starts the spark in our bonfire hearts