What if the things we believe in
Came true?

If we truly believe in heaven
We would one day end up there?

What if reality
Was a complete product of our beliefs?

Then again, what if it wasn’t?

What if we things we believed in
Never happened?

Then there would be no reason
To believe in anything

And it follows that in time
We would cease to believe
In the importance or relevance
Of our own existence

And then we would, in time
Cease to exist

But we do exist

And we do have beliefs

So if our beliefs
Do create our reality

Why do we struggle
To believe in a better life?

Why do we reject the possibility
Of creating a paradise on earth?

Life is a risk
Threat lies everywhere
As does opportunity
Life is full of such things

We are but living beings
Held in the most delicate balance
Between normality
And extinction

And there is joy to be found
In the very essence of living
No matter what or where
We find ourselves

If we can but remember this
Then each moment becomes precious
Unique
Memorable

How many times
Was I angry today?
How many times
Was I happy?
The days go by
And the world seems to stay the same
But I change
From moment to moment

Maybe those who make
The biggest mistakes
Are the ones who take
The biggest risks

And those who never make
Any mistakes
Never stray
Beyond their comfort zone

Bird

Soaring
Free
Happy

I wish
I could fly
Just like you

It’s all right
To cry

It’s all right
To laugh

It’s all right
To play

It’s all right
To love

It’s all right
To dream

It’s all right
To work

It’s all right
To give

It’s all right
To live

The world
Is still a beautiful place
Even though we inhabit
The darkest caves
Of the human soul
In the depths of our lives
Sway cool turquoise lagoons of joy
Pierced by golden sunbeams of hope
Fresh running streams of laughter
Nourish bodies vibrant with health
There are unending riches
And there is peace

The world is still a beautiful place
Seeking spirits
Will in the end
Take us beyond the shadows
Of our foolish existence
And will lead us finally
To the light

The holidays
Are over
And I must
Go back to work

I’ve had the time
To question
Everything
But
I haven’t really
Got any fresh answers to
Why we must work
To make ‘money’
To pay bills
To keep things...
...going

So
I will go back to work
And make the most of it

And put my Peter Pan thoughts
To bed once again

Until my next holiday
When I will sit in a field
Watching the campfire burn
Setting my eyes on the horizon
And watching for shooting stars

We can always smile at one another
Even though are hears ache
We can make each other laugh
Even when times are tough
We can wish for the very best
Even though we fear the worst
Because we are
Family

Now is the time
When the blue of day
Melts into the grey of night
And a single black bat flutters
Back and forth

Now is the time
When the first stars twinkle
And the great trees turn black
As sirens wail and the drunken woman screams

Now is the time when the hour of the dog
Gives way to the pig
When grey moths flutter against half open windows
And the woman screams again

Now is the time
When the safety of the day
Gives way to the uncertainty of night
And somewhere a steel guitar strums

Now is the time
When the thoughts that pass through my mind
Turn to the fragments of the day
And the uncertainty of the future

Now is the time for naked embrace
For music, and heavy eyelids
For the shields of our armour
To drop as we slide towards sleep

And with the doors to our souls left ajar
The dreams of the universe approach
And soak into our consciousness
Only to disappear
At dawn

I saw the sun
Shimmering on the water
Cormorants drying their wings
On the sand bank
Tiny grey fish
Darting in the shallows

A flock of geese journeying
Across the deep blue sky
One wood pigeon
Grooming another

And I thought
That I was lucky to be there
When all of these things
Happened

Be yourself!
Follow your instinct
Do what you should do
To fully express
Your life

Be yourself!
Stop pretending
To be wise
Strong
Intelligent
Or in control

Be yourself!
Never push
Others around
To get
What you want


Be yourself!
Be who you are
Express yourself
As honestly
As would
Your inner child

Be yourself!
Don’t buy
Into the need
To please
Or appease
Speak your mind

Be yourself
Create!
Things that you need
To live the way
You want

Be yourself
Be your self
Be
You…r
Self

This is
A hard time

I feel it
In the bones of my skull

A dense suffocating
Fog
Weighing upon us all

This is
A hard time

We enter this darkening tunnel
Wondering what
Our purpose is

For when the lights
Have been extinguished
And we are held
In darkness
We know we have to face
Our inner demons

This is
A hard time

And yet
The colours of the autumn leaves
Dazzle my eyes and lift my spirits
Their shades of gold, red, copper and purple
Signify transformation

The beautiful death of winter
Will be restorative and silent

And herald
A spring of renewal
Rich with life and fresh growth

It’s Friday again
Another week
Draws to a close

I am still here
And so are you
We made it through to this moment

We can smile
As we relax together
In our quiet home

Ready to enjoy
Some free time
To restore ourselves once more

It’s falling apart
Because it couldn’t hold together any longer

Lies leak in time
And castles built on dishonesty
Will succumb to the tides
Of truth and justice

These times
Of exploitation
Will pass

And their perpetrators
Will be remembered
Not for the power they once wielded
But for their shame

You and me
Upon the sea
Are floating
On the breeze

Tripping
Slipping
Skipping
Flipping

To a beat
That’s deep
Neat
And Sweet

We move
With the groove
And the rhythm
Of the flow

We click
Are slick
Fit
And quick

There is fear
And there is uncertainty
And it continues

And I don’t have any answers
And neither do 'they'

So we have to sit
Alone
Or with family
And wait
And wait
And wait

But we will rise up
Even though
They say that the powerful
Are strengthening their grip
On the masses

Even though
The poor and weak
Are afflicted
The most severely

Even though
The night stretches out before us
And dawn
Seems so far away

We, the people
Will find such strength
As cannot be imagined

And we will rise up
Higher and stronger
Than ever before

And through our love
And our compassion
We will
Win the day

I know
I can connect with you
All I need to do, is listen

And I know, that you will say something
That I can understand
And by listening to you
I will learn something

And we will grow closer
Forming an invisible connection
That will bind us
Forming another strand
In the protective web of our humanity

Well done Joe
You are nearly there
Your dignity is intact
As you patiently await
The coming of the hour

Mr Trump
Your actions reveal
An embittered man
Ungracious in defeat
Pulling desperate levers
To try and stop the tide of democracy

The next few days
Will be very telling

Those who have lost
Should congratulate their adversaries
And reflect deeply on themselves

To experience
True satisfaction
I will have to work
And work

And only after years
Of persistence
And determination
Will I be able
To feel
Truly satisfied
With what I have created

Beyond existence
In this form
Lies
Unending space
Time
Compassionate energy
Eternity

Beyond time
Beyond space
Lies
What is not known

Beyond knowledge
Beneath what is not known
Lies wisdom
Truth
Soul
Spirit

Beyond matter
Lies essence
Essence
And energy
Which animates
All matter

Momentarily
We are together
In this form
In this state

Let us remember
What lies beyond

How I relate to you
Equates to war or peace

How I relate to myself
Equates to illness or well being

How I relate to the earth
Equates to pollution or a healthy environment

What does success look like?
What does victory in life
Look like?

My mind flits
From moment to moment
And I wonder
Am I ok?
Am I prepared to face the day?
Have I done enough?
Am I doing enough?
What is … enough?

Have I achieved success?
Who decides what success is?
Why do I even think in these terms?

I am the only one
Who can guide this particular ship
I alone stand at the dials and levers
Of my own life

And yet
I suspect
That beneath my conscious mind
There are dials and levers
Whirring and buzzing
Of which I am not aware
Pushing me in directions
I cannot explain

Is this a good thing?
Is it bad?

At the end of this trip
Where will I be?
What will I know?
What will I feel?
Is there some kind of legacy?

It is become October
In the year of 2020
And bad news is on the rise
Once more

But I am still here
Thinking of all these things
And sharing my thoughts
With you

My emotions lie gathered beneath my surface
And it won’t take much to pierce my skin
Causing my essence to flow out freely
For all to see

The trials of these days have driven me
To work and work
And somehow I now need to release the pressure
That has mounted in my bones

Soft words from a wise man
Brought tears to my eyes this morning
And I dabbed my face
With an old tissue

I guess we are all hanging on
To what we knew
Looking for guidance and signals
Before we enter the unknown

This long winter
Has challenged the people
Rains have fallen endlessly
Floods have wrecked homes and towns
Whilst fires have decimated the forests of Australia

This long winter
Has shaken the people
A winter virus has spread around the world
What is important is cast in new light
What is unimportant is revealed

This long winter
Is nearly over
But what have we learned from all that has passed
What should we do when faced with a crisis
How should we act when challenges rise

This long winter
May be the first of many
Our people may face unending trials
We must learn to live differently and teach our children
Not to give in to apathy’s spiral

I see
Children lean
Into those
They love

I observe
Grown bodies turn
To those
In their care

Protective energy
Surrounds the young
Embracing them
Nurturing them

And in that security
Young lives
Grow
And flourish

Tick Tock
Tick Tock
Day Night
Day Night

Awake Asleep
Breathing in
Asleep Awake
Breathing out

In love In pain
In work At rest
Alone Together
In pain In love

Coming Going
Open Closed

Walking Sleeping
Sleep Walking

Tock Tick
Spin Spin
Around the sun
We spin and spin

Up Down
Down Up
We start again
We start again

Like firm footsteps through deep snow
Like the burst of a sprinter’s speed after the starter's gun
Like the opening downbeat of a great conductor's baton
Like the ‘clack’ of a champion golfer’s drive
Like the gushing of a mighty waterfall
Like the mass migration of antelope across the plains
Like a lion protecting its cubs
We will not give up
We will prevail
For we are full
Of resolve

Dear reader
Did you know
That you may well have saved me?

These written words
Come from deep inside of me
They are my effort, my attempts
To pin the pages of my life
To something or somewhere
That will outlast my time here

You see I am given to thinking
That unless I find some meaning
In each and every diurnal course
And record my daily memories
In my own personal way
I may as well
Just float away on the breeze
And let the balmy days roll into each other
Blurring into a cloud
Of missed opportunities

This poem
Should you ever come to read it
Tells you all you need to know
About my work

It reveals nothing but
My personal struggle
With my very immortality
It shows my clumsy attempts
To grasp this very moment
And imprint it
On something
‘Real’

And should your eye
Ever pass over these lines
In some distant future
Then maybe you will know
What I am feeling right now

And if you know that feeling
Maybe you will have felt it too
And together
We may have somehow found meaning
In our very existence
Creating
A connection
That bridges
The space and time
Between us

Dear reader
I may be long gone by the time you read this
But your attention
Has kept a small part of me
Alive

You've got to
You have to
You ought to
You should've

You mustn't
You ought not
You best not
You're not

You must've
You should've
You'd better
You best not

You're better
Than that
Much better
By far

But if you
Or if you
When you do
What you do

You know you
Can't do that
Without this
For sure

So do it
Don't do that
Or do this
Or do that

Or else you'll
Find out you
Don't know who
You are

A dead pigeon
Lay on the tarmac
Behind the deserted funfair
At Southend pier

We were taking our daily walk
And almost didn’t see

But then we noticed
The poor creature
Eyes pale and closed
Neck turned
Wings fanned
Motionless, empty

Beside it
Stood a second pigeon
Quietly
Waiting
One inch, maybe two
From its companion

The pigeon saw us
Blinked a few times
And continued to wait
Unmoving
As if somehow
It was paying respects
To its lost friend

I don’t know if
They were husband and wife
Friends
Or even siblings

But I do know
That the pigeon
Was grieving
Showing deep respect
For its fallen friend

And we stood and watched
This solemn ceremony
For many minutes

As the pigeon stood
Silently, softly
Beside its lost friend
And our hearts felt
The sorrow
Of that bird

Problems are part of life

The greater our problems
The greater the opportunity
To reveal the indomitable spirit
Of the human being

And the greater
The benefit we receive
As we reveal new wisdom
To create innovative solutions

Without problems
We cannot transform
Our own lives
Or the world around us

Thank you for the tea
And the three cigarettes
Thank you for listening
Whilst I decompress
Thank you for the smile
When I was feeling low
Thank you for the time you gave
It made me feel ok

I know you are my friends
Because when I see you
I smile

I know you are my friends
Because when I hear your voices
I am encouraged

I know you are my friends
Because when I speak with you
I feel listened to

I know you are my friends
Because when we share our stories
And talk about things that matter
We care for each other and offer each other
Encouragement

I’ve got time on my (back) side
Two hours a day
On the train up to London
And back later today

I’ll ponder my navel
And think on my fate
It’s more than two hours
If the train’s running late

I’d forgotten this feeling
Of to-ing and fro-ing
Ive been living at home
Not having to go in

But now I’m come back
I’m not sure what’s the best
To keep up this travelling
Or give it a rest

I’m back on my backside
Watching stations go by
Catching sight of the pigeons
As they fly way up high

London's graffiti looks tired
And the city’s smells bad
I'm better on the beach
By the sea, I'd be glad

But, it has to be done
I'm back on my way
And back on my backside
At least for today

The beauty of creation
Is that you bring something
From the world of latency
Into the world of existence

And then it is there
For all to see
To wonder at and admire

Creation is not possible
Without the person
Nor is it possible
Without the latent energy
Nor the manifest world
In which we live

When we align our lives
With the energy of the universe
We create

When we pit our lives against
Universal energy
We destroy

To lead a creative life
Is to live a life
Most meaningful

This morning
I felt fragile
And then
I remembered
That the winds that blow
Can either knock us down
Or
If we are strong
And resist the force
We can use the gusts
To help us take flight
Elevating our lives
To unseen heights

You don’t know who you are
Until you give things a try

I’m back on the trains
7.25am, Prittlewell to London
A journey last taken
5 months ago

I talk to the ticket lady
I converse with a passenger
Confirming my sense
That this is
A most strange time

Just three souls wait on the platform
And my carriage is empty
Another reminder
Of the great disturbance
Of this pandemic

I have my mask
Under my chin
It stifles me to wear it
But I will cover my face
If others sit near me

What will London be like
I wonder?
Will this great historic capital
Lie in deep slumber?

The trees of Essex
Are untroubled
Leaning into each other
Bearing the lush greenery of summer
They have endured for decades and centuries
Without complaint

I sit observant
Nervously journeying forward
Uncertain of my future
Facing it all the same
As I peer into the unknown

Although I try to find the words
To explain the hurt I feel
I end up tying myself in knots
And falling deeper
Into this hole

Justice should be easy to declare
Fairness easy to explain
But when it comes
To family ties
It is a minefield or so it seems

Inside me
Is alchemy
I can make potions
Within my soul

Inside me
New realities
Are conjured
Like nothing ever conceived before

Inside me
Is a galaxy
Of endless possibilities
Fluid, fresh, limitless

Inside me
Is the universe
And everything
That the universe has ever contained

When people crumble
What is revealed?

A human shell
A remnant
An incomplete representation
Of the embodied self

When people crumble
We witness the manifestation of
A helpless child
Unprotected, unsafe, exposed

When people crumble
Time travels
Transporting them
To when injustice rained down heavily
And they were beaten
My humanity’s inhumanity

When people crumble
We are reminded
Of the past
For it is there
That hidden injuries were inflicted

My small friend
You have returned
From the abyss
And recovered

Your small body shines
Brighter than it ever did
As if you
Have shed your skin

Life pulses through you
And you seem
More inquisitive
More vibrant
More alive

More connected
To the challenge
Of being

And further
From the mystery
Of dying

140 strokes
To reach the far side
140 strokes to return
Beneath me
Deep water
Above me
Blue sky
Seagulls, clouds


This is swimming
At ‘The ray’
Natural low tide lagoon

I start this day
By swimming right across
And swimming back again
Mindful
That the tide is rising
Imperceptibly

I will not relax
Until I reach
My starting point
Safe
Secure
Back on the sand
Heading home
Because I am out of the safety zone
In the great ocean
Communing with an entity
That possesses great fathoms
Of power

I feel alive
Excited
To make my return
To claim my reward
The first coffee of the day
And hot buttered toast

Such simple experiences
Have profound meaning
To me

There are days
When I long to be old
Looked after
Irresponsible
Cradled in the arms
Of a caring force

There are days
When the daily routine
Just seems too hard
And all I yearn for
Is rest

There are days
When I just want
To give up
Days when
I just want someone else
To take care of things
Days when I want life to feel
Easy, easier

But I don’t know if
I will ever have
Days like these

There are days like these
Days like these

I guess knowing
That there will always be
Days like these
I should learn to let them go
Release them
Feel grateful for my struggles
And all those
Who protect me
And care for me
As I am
Now

This is what I should do
This is what I should do

Realising that those who should have faith in you…
Don’t
Means, that you can liberate yourself
From the chains of mistrust and judgement
That have been wrapped around you
Through developing unshakeable faith in yourself

And then forgiving those who doubted you

After all
It is those who doubt others in their care
Who were most likely
Incorrectly doubted themselves
In their formative years

Revealing
Gratitude
Courage
Wisdom
And
Compassion
Every day
Will transform
This age
Of suffering
Into a new reality

These walls
Have endured
The tears
The screams
The cruelty
The terror
The unspeakable brutality
Of our humanity
Gone mad
And become base

They stand
Quietly
Testifying
To a horror
We can barely imagine

Brick
Timber
Iron
Remain
Icy sentinels
Of Auschwitz
Concentration camp

And survivors
Their aged bodies
Tattooed with fading numbers
Walk through the gates
Once again
Supported by grandchildren
Leading them into
The place of oppression

They move forward
Carefully
Quietly
Dignified
Strong
Their arms linked together
As their lungs breathe the winter air

And we are all silenced
By the weight
Of the past

Like a teenager, feeling bored
I sit in the too hot sun
And I can’t think what
Whatever should be done

It’s a Sunday feeling
Through and through
My soul reflecting
The sky of blue

I keep looking for things
Outside myself
To remove this feeling
And feel something else

Perhaps I can chase off
The hungry flies
That buzz around
Disturbing the quiet

But I don’t want peace
Or even quiet
I want an adventure
Something to try out

I want strange things
Never seen before
I want to escape
Break down some doors

I want to
I want
I want
I…think

I need
To stop
And…rest
I think

Perhaps I'm ill?
I'm not myself
Becoming instead
Like someone else?

It’s Sunday
I’m too hot
And that's what
I've got

I will wait
It will pass
If I lie
On the grass