How many times
Was I angry today?
How many times
Was I happy?
The days go by
And the world seems to stay the same
But I change
From moment to moment

This is
A hard time

I feel it
In the bones of my skull

A dense suffocating
Fog
Weighing upon us all

This is
A hard time

We enter this darkening tunnel
Wondering what
Our purpose is

For when the lights
Have been extinguished
And we are held
In darkness
We know we have to face
Our inner demons

This is
A hard time

And yet
The colours of the autumn leaves
Dazzle my eyes and lift my spirits
Their shades of gold, red, copper and purple
Signify transformation

The beautiful death of winter
Will be restorative and silent

And herald
A spring of renewal
Rich with life and fresh growth

Only one planet
On which to live

Only one earth
To cultivate and tend

Only so much water
To use as we ought

Only these metals
And minerals to craft

Only this air
To breathe in, breathe out

Only these people
To live with together

Only this time
To act and do right

Only one heart
To beat in my chest

Only one mind
To choose sense from nonsense

Only this life
To share our thoughts

Only this audience
To listen to hear

Only one me
Only one you

Only the us
That we make together

Only one people
Across all these nations

Only this moment
Only this time

It’s Friday again
Another week
Draws to a close

I am still here
And so are you
We made it through to this moment

We can smile
As we relax together
In our quiet home

Ready to enjoy
Some free time
To restore ourselves once more

It’s falling apart
Because it couldn’t hold together any longer

Lies leak in time
And castles built on dishonesty
Will succumb to the tides
Of truth and justice

These times
Of exploitation
Will pass

And their perpetrators
Will be remembered
Not for the power they once wielded
But for their shame

You and me
Upon the sea
Are floating
On the breeze

Tripping
Slipping
Skipping
Flipping

To a beat
That’s deep
Neat
And Sweet

We move
With the groove
And the rhythm
Of the flow

We click
Are slick
Fit
And quick

Be yourself!
Follow your instinct
Do what you should do
To fully express
Your life

Be yourself!
Stop pretending
To be wise
Strong
Intelligent
Or in control

Be yourself!
Never push
Others around
To get
What you want


Be yourself!
Be who you are
Express yourself
As honestly
As would
Your inner child

Be yourself!
Don’t buy
Into the need
To please
Or appease
Speak your mind

Be yourself
Create!
Things that you need
To live the way
You want

Be yourself
Be your self
Be
You…r
Self

Tick Tock
Tick Tock
Day Night
Day Night

Awake Asleep
Breathing in
Asleep Awake
Breathing out

In love In pain
In work At rest
Alone Together
In pain In love

Coming Going
Open Closed

Walking Sleeping
Sleep Walking

Tock Tick
Spin Spin
Around the sun
We spin and spin

Up Down
Down Up
We start again
We start again

How long will this last?
We ask?

As long as it needs to…

To experience
True satisfaction
I will have to work
And work

And only after years
Of persistence
And determination
Will I be able
To feel
Truly satisfied
With what I have created

Four more years?
Or
Something else?
I hope
For humanity’s sake
A greater consciousness
Prevails
And that true leadership
Emerges

What does a poet see
That others do not?

What discoveries do they make
By returning faithfully to the page?

What meaning do they convey
Through ordering words for us to read

What do they see
That others do not?

Beyond existence
In this form
Lies
Unending space
Time
Compassionate energy
Eternity

Beyond time
Beyond space
Lies
What is not known

Beyond knowledge
Beneath what is not known
Lies wisdom
Truth
Soul
Spirit

Beyond matter
Lies essence
Essence
And energy
Which animates
All matter

Momentarily
We are together
In this form
In this state

Let us remember
What lies beyond

I saw the sun
Shimmering on the water
Cormorants drying their wings
On the sand bank
Tiny grey fish
Darting in the shallows

A flock of geese journeying
Across the deep blue sky
One wood pigeon
Grooming another

And I thought
That I was lucky to be there
When all of these things
Happened

We can always smile at one another
Even though are hears ache
We can make each other laugh
Even when times are tough
We can wish for the very best
Even though we fear the worst
Because we are
Family

You don’t know who you are
Until you give things a try

This long winter
Has challenged the people
Rains have fallen endlessly
Floods have wrecked homes and towns
Whilst fires have decimated the forests of Australia

This long winter
Has shaken the people
A winter virus has spread around the world
What is important is cast in new light
What is unimportant is revealed

This long winter
Is nearly over
But what have we learned from all that has passed
What should we do when faced with a crisis
How should we act when challenges rise

This long winter
May be the first of many
Our people may face unending trials
We must learn to live differently and teach our children
Not to give in to apathy’s spiral

Like firm footsteps through deep snow
Like the burst of a sprinter’s speed after the starter's gun
Like the opening downbeat of a great conductor's baton
Like the ‘clack’ of a champion golfer’s drive
Like the gushing of a mighty waterfall
Like the mass migration of antelope across the plains
Like a lion protecting its cubs
We will not give up
We will prevail
For we are full
Of resolve

You've got to
You have to
You ought to
You should've

You mustn't
You ought not
You best not
You're not

You must've
You should've
You'd better
You best not

You're better
Than that
Much better
By far

But if you
Or if you
When you do
What you do

You know you
Can't do that
Without this
For sure

So do it
Don't do that
Or do this
Or do that

Or else you'll
Find out you
Don't know who
You are

I know
I can connect with you
All I need to do, is listen

And I know, that you will say something
That I can understand
And by listening to you
I will learn something

And we will grow closer
Forming an invisible connection
That will bind us
Forming another strand
In the protective web of our humanity

I see
Children lean
Into those
They love

I observe
Grown bodies turn
To those
In their care

Protective energy
Surrounds the young
Embracing them
Nurturing them

And in that security
Young lives
Grow
And flourish

It’s all right
To cry

It’s all right
To laugh

It’s all right
To play

It’s all right
To love

It’s all right
To dream

It’s all right
To work

It’s all right
To give

It’s all right
To live

A dead pigeon
Lay on the tarmac
Behind the deserted funfair
At Southend pier

We were taking our daily walk
And almost didn’t see

But then we noticed
The poor creature
Eyes pale and closed
Neck turned
Wings fanned
Motionless, empty

Beside it
Stood a second pigeon
Quietly
Waiting
One inch, maybe two
From its companion

The pigeon saw us
Blinked a few times
And continued to wait
Unmoving
As if somehow
It was paying respects
To its lost friend

I don’t know if
They were husband and wife
Friends
Or even siblings

But I do know
That the pigeon
Was grieving
Showing deep respect
For its fallen friend

And we stood and watched
This solemn ceremony
For many minutes

As the pigeon stood
Silently, softly
Beside its lost friend
And our hearts felt
The sorrow
Of that bird

There are days
When I long to be old
Looked after
Irresponsible
Cradled in the arms
Of a caring force

There are days
When the daily routine
Just seems too hard
And all I yearn for
Is rest

There are days
When I just want
To give up
Days when
I just want someone else
To take care of things
Days when I want life to feel
Easy, easier

But I don’t know if
I will ever have
Days like these

There are days like these
Days like these

I guess knowing
That there will always be
Days like these
I should learn to let them go
Release them
Feel grateful for my struggles
And all those
Who protect me
And care for me
As I am
Now

This is what I should do
This is what I should do

How I relate to you
Equates to war or peace

How I relate to myself
Equates to illness or well being

How I relate to the earth
Equates to pollution or a healthy environment

Those who have lost
Should congratulate their adversaries
And reflect deeply on themselves

Dear reader
Did you know
That you may well have saved me?

These written words
Come from deep inside of me
They are my effort, my attempts
To pin the pages of my life
To something or somewhere
That will outlast my time here

You see I am given to thinking
That unless I find some meaning
In each and every diurnal course
And record my daily memories
In my own personal way
I may as well
Just float away on the breeze
And let the balmy days roll into each other
Blurring into a cloud
Of missed opportunities

This poem
Should you ever come to read it
Tells you all you need to know
About my work

It reveals nothing but
My personal struggle
With my very immortality
It shows my clumsy attempts
To grasp this very moment
And imprint it
On something
‘Real’

And should your eye
Ever pass over these lines
In some distant future
Then maybe you will know
What I am feeling right now

And if you know that feeling
Maybe you will have felt it too
And together
We may have somehow found meaning
In our very existence
Creating
A connection
That bridges
The space and time
Between us

Dear reader
I may be long gone by the time you read this
But your attention
Has kept a small part of me
Alive

There is fear
And there is uncertainty
And it continues

And I don’t have any answers
And neither do 'they'

So we have to sit
Alone
Or with family
And wait
And wait
And wait

But we will rise up
Even though
They say that the powerful
Are strengthening their grip
On the masses

Even though
The poor and weak
Are afflicted
The most severely

Even though
The night stretches out before us
And dawn
Seems so far away

We, the people
Will find such strength
As cannot be imagined

And we will rise up
Higher and stronger
Than ever before

And through our love
And our compassion
We will
Win the day

My emotions lie gathered beneath my surface
And it won’t take much to pierce my skin
Causing my essence to flow out freely
For all to see

The trials of these days have driven me
To work and work
And somehow I now need to release the pressure
That has mounted in my bones

Soft words from a wise man
Brought tears to my eyes this morning
And I dabbed my face
With an old tissue

I guess we are all hanging on
To what we knew
Looking for guidance and signals
Before we enter the unknown

Thank you for the tea
And the three cigarettes
Thank you for listening
Whilst I decompress
Thank you for the smile
When I was feeling low
Thank you for the time you gave
It made me feel ok

I’ve got time on my (back) side
Two hours a day
On the train up to London
And back later today

I’ll ponder my navel
And think on my fate
It’s more than two hours
If the train’s running late

I’d forgotten this feeling
Of to-ing and fro-ing
Ive been living at home
Not having to go in

But now I’m come back
I’m not sure what’s the best
To keep up this travelling
Or give it a rest

I’m back on my backside
Watching stations go by
Catching sight of the pigeons
As they fly way up high

London's graffiti looks tired
And the city’s smells bad
I'm better on the beach
By the sea, I'd be glad

But, it has to be done
I'm back on my way
And back on my backside
At least for today

What would our relationship feel like
If we were to start it from today?

What would a new religion be like
If we were to invent it today?

What would society look like
If we were to build it from today?

How would we treat the planet
If we were given it today?

I know you are my friends
Because when I see you
I smile

I know you are my friends
Because when I hear your voices
I am encouraged

I know you are my friends
Because when I speak with you
I feel listened to

I know you are my friends
Because when we share our stories
And talk about things that matter
We care for each other and offer each other
Encouragement

Now is the time
When the blue of day
Melts into the grey of night
And a single black bat flutters
Back and forth

Now is the time
When the first stars twinkle
And the great trees turn black
As sirens wail and the drunken woman screams

Now is the time when the hour of the dog
Gives way to the pig
When grey moths flutter against half open windows
And the woman screams again

Now is the time
When the safety of the day
Gives way to the uncertainty of night
And somewhere a steel guitar strums

Now is the time
When the thoughts that pass through my mind
Turn to the fragments of the day
And the uncertainty of the future

Now is the time for naked embrace
For music, and heavy eyelids
For the shields of our armour
To drop as we slide towards sleep

And with the doors to our souls left ajar
The dreams of the universe approach
And soak into our consciousness
Only to disappear
At dawn

So I cried this morning
And cried
And cried until
The need had passed

Years have passed
And still I cry
Still I am
Crying

What does this mean?
What is the deeper meaning?

What this means to me
Will for sure mean something different to you

All I know is that my emotions
Were rushing up inside me like
Flood Waters
Ready to overcome any obstacle
Unstoppable
Out of control
Dominant
Gushing
Until the surge had passed
And I was left
Somehow
More grounded
A little more pure
A little more
Me

This is what I think
This is what I think
This is what I think
This is what I think

This is what I know
This is what I know
This is what I know
This is what I know

So, this is what I think
This is what I know
So, this is what I think
This is what I know
So, this is what I think

This is how it is
This is how it is
This is how it is
This is how it is
So this is how I act
This is how it is
So this is how I act

This is how things are
This is how things are
This is how things are
This is how things are
So this is what I do
This is how things are
So this is what I do

This is what I do
This is what I do
This is what I do
This is what I do

Is it?
Is it?
Is it?
Is it?
Is
It
How
I
Think
It
Is
?

I’m back on the trains
7.25am, Prittlewell to London
A journey last taken
5 months ago

I talk to the ticket lady
I converse with a passenger
Confirming my sense
That this is
A most strange time

Just three souls wait on the platform
And my carriage is empty
Another reminder
Of the great disturbance
Of this pandemic

I have my mask
Under my chin
It stifles me to wear it
But I will cover my face
If others sit near me

What will London be like
I wonder?
Will this great historic capital
Lie in deep slumber?

The trees of Essex
Are untroubled
Leaning into each other
Bearing the lush greenery of summer
They have endured for decades and centuries
Without complaint

I sit observant
Nervously journeying forward
Uncertain of my future
Facing it all the same
As I peer into the unknown

We have to generate hope

Hope that our future
Will be bright
Joyful
Happy

Filled with the freedoms
That we have lost

The more hope we generate
The more things will move
In a positive direction

Negative perspectives
Act like weights
On our bodies
Hindering our progress

Bright optimism
Will refresh us
Lift us
Carry us
To the safety
Of future shores

My small friend
You have returned
From the abyss
And recovered

Your small body shines
Brighter than it ever did
As if you
Have shed your skin

Life pulses through you
And you seem
More inquisitive
More vibrant
More alive

More connected
To the challenge
Of being

And further
From the mystery
Of dying

When people crumble
What is revealed?

A human shell
A remnant
An incomplete representation
Of the embodied self

When people crumble
We witness the manifestation of
A helpless child
Unprotected, unsafe, exposed

When people crumble
Time travels
Transporting them
To when injustice rained down heavily
And they were beaten
My humanity’s inhumanity

When people crumble
We are reminded
Of the past
For it is there
That hidden injuries were inflicted

All right
I admit
I just don’t get you
At all

I simply do not understand
The workings of your mind
Or your heart

We are different
So different
And right now
We might as well be
On different planets

The toll of lockdown
Manifests in strange
Unpredictable ways

One minute
We are fine
The next
We are not

I guess I will accept
That this day
Has not gone well

But tomorrow awaits
And I will hope
For something
Better

140 strokes
To reach the far side
140 strokes to return
Beneath me
Deep water
Above me
Blue sky
Seagulls, clouds


This is swimming
At ‘The ray’
Natural low tide lagoon

I start this day
By swimming right across
And swimming back again
Mindful
That the tide is rising
Imperceptibly

I will not relax
Until I reach
My starting point
Safe
Secure
Back on the sand
Heading home
Because I am out of the safety zone
In the great ocean
Communing with an entity
That possesses great fathoms
Of power

I feel alive
Excited
To make my return
To claim my reward
The first coffee of the day
And hot buttered toast

Such simple experiences
Have profound meaning
To me

Inside me
Is alchemy
I can make potions
Within my soul

Inside me
New realities
Are conjured
Like nothing ever conceived before

Inside me
Is a galaxy
Of endless possibilities
Fluid, fresh, limitless

Inside me
Is the universe
And everything
That the universe has ever contained

The world
Is still a beautiful place
Even though we inhabit
The darkest caves
Of the human soul
In the depths of our lives
Sway cool turquoise lagoons of joy
Pierced by golden sunbeams of hope
Fresh running streams of laughter
Nourish bodies vibrant with health
There are unending riches
And there is peace

The world is still a beautiful place
Seeking spirits
Will in the end
Take us beyond the shadows
Of our foolish existence
And will lead us finally
To the light

Now is the time to face our fear
To look at it carefully, patiently, calmly
To understand what it is telling us
About ourselves, about our lives

For the longer and more carefully
We examine our fear
The more we see its detail
Its components, its way of working

The more we spend time with our fear
The more we understand
How the devil of our own fear
Was built by own very own hands

Engineers spend time
Observing things, examining details
Wondering what parts to refine
What component to remove

We are the engineers of our lives
Either studying and learning
Or running away
Avoiding our truth

If we spend time with our own fear
We will come to know it
And how it can be dismantled
Broken into its constituent parts

And with all of its pieces
Laid out before us
We can assemble a new creation
Courage

Revealing
Gratitude
Courage
Wisdom
And
Compassion
Every day
Will transform
This age
Of suffering
Into a new reality

Your face is melted
I try and read the signs
But everything has gone...strange

I am feeling hot
Tired, suddenly
A visitor in a foreign place
Only able to understand
Half of what is being said

I am smiling
Attempting to hide my weakness
Hoping that I can get through
Without being noticed

I want to be alone
But the lights have come
Strobing across my eyes
Tearing my perspective
Like paper

I get home
Walking older than my years
And fall to bed
Worrying
Until the safety of sleep
Takes me elsewhere

Being who we are
Regardless of what we are
Dancing
Playing
Unaware of anything but ourselves

Hair scraped into shapes by elders
Shoelaces half tied
Faces stained with tears and sweat
Resisting the mould
Until the mould
Creates…us

Society
Built
Fixed
Strong
Surrounds us

We are stones
Thrown repeatedly at walls
Shaped by them
Wishing one day to break through

How strange and curious
Is this thing called life

We know that we know not what lies ahead
And yet we believe we understand
The workings of the universe

These last few days
Have been like a dream
In which everything
We have ever known
Has disappeared
Only to be replaced by a strange dystopian existence

We have stood
Noble, like Kings and Queens
Gazing proudly upon our creations for too long
Oblivious of the storm that would
Come to wash it all away

And now we wonder
What will become of us
When all of this is through

Maybe one day
We will awaken
To a world more beautiful and fair
Than we can possibly imagine

Or maybe our days
Playing carelessly in the sun
Have burned us too deeply

These walls
Have endured
The tears
The screams
The cruelty
The terror
The unspeakable brutality
Of our humanity
Gone mad
And become base

They stand
Quietly
Testifying
To a horror
We can barely imagine

Brick
Timber
Iron
Remain
Icy sentinels
Of Auschwitz
Concentration camp

And survivors
Their aged bodies
Tattooed with fading numbers
Walk through the gates
Once again
Supported by grandchildren
Leading them into
The place of oppression

They move forward
Carefully
Quietly
Dignified
Strong
Their arms linked together
As their lungs breathe the winter air

And we are all silenced
By the weight
Of the past