I have a feeling
That this coming winter
Will be like nothing
I have ever experienced

There are dark clouds on the horizon
And the ‘captains’ of our national ship
Seem not to have
Their passenger’s best interests at heart

So, what is there to be done?
Other than to face the storm
And accept that it will come
And batter we humans
With its ferocious winds

And then
One day
When we think we can take no more
It will be over
And the waters will be still and calm again
And we will have to re-build

But the storm clouds I see
Are thick and heavy
And it may well be years
Before we experience life
As it once was

Never gone hungry
Never slept rough
Never been beaten
Nor outcast

Never been enslaved
Or forced to flee
Never been attacked
Just for being me

This body
Carries a soul
In the depths of which
Is purity
How to reveal that purity
Is one of life’s great challenges

To be in this team
Surrounded by friends
Willing each other on
Even though
We might be defeated
By these circumstances
Is precious

For when we look back
We know
That we will have fought together
And our shared struggle will be
Such a precious memory
That when our victory comes
It will be that much sweeter
And we will celebrate
All the more

I remember myself
As I was
Many years ago

I remember myself
Making discoveries
Of what I could do
And feeling
Excited and free

I remember myself
As I realise
What I have become
Does not contain
All of that former self

And in this time
Of long reflection
I realise that I want to be
Who I was then
Again
Within who I am now

Down by the riverside
Where the reeds lean with the current
Along empty bridlepaths through fields ready for harvest
Past the deserted church and into the orchard
Beyond the ancient oak and through the hedgerows
Is the green and most fair Essex

Rose
What do you do at night
When I can no longer see you?
What happens to your rich colour
And your delicate scent?

Do you wait
For the return of the sun
Eager to display
Your natural elegance?

Or perhaps you disappear
Into some other dimension
Where you dance and sing
To crowds of admirers
Rushing to reappear just in time for dawn?

If I were to shine a torch upon your body tonight
Would you still shine with such beauty?
Or would you be lesser
Than your daytime self?

Rose
What do you do at night?

Maybe you sleep
And dream of butterflies and warmth?
Maybe you cast spells
Over the crawling creatures of the night?
Maybe you wait, quietly, patiently
Shivering in the autumn chill
Calling for a lover
To come and rescue you

Rose
What do you do at night?

At the start of each day
People awaken
To begin their travels
Along invisible pathways
Weaving an invisible fabric
To swaddle the community

People push buggies
Along pavements
Delivery drivers
Arrive and leave
Writers write
Runners run
New replaces old
As ******* collects
To be cast aside

Towns and cities
Transform
Evolve
One millimetre
At a time

Life withers
Ages
Dies

And
Is reborn

The planet breathes in
And out
Beneath the weight
Of our existence

On this day
The sun
Drifts across
Our planet’s equator

Day that exceeded night,
Balances
For a single day
Only to fall to deficit
As night’s lengthen
And the darkness
Takes hold

We drift
From the light
Into the dark
And we must prepare
To survive
Journeying inwards
As we face
Winter

And it will
Be a time
Where new treasures
Of the heart
Will be created
And held
Sparkling in the gloom
Illuminating the world
Until we emerge
In the spring
Wiser, stronger
Ready for new growth

Beyond the fear
Lies the future

Beyond the pain
Lies release

Beyond the anxiety
There is courage

Beyond the unknown
There is opportunity

Children dance on the station platform
So happy to be together
They are going back to school, at last

If only the dawn air was free of pollution
If only earth’s paradise could once again breathe
If only each human built kind, honest legacies
Then each child would grow up
Free from all fear

Men who justify
Everyday acts of violence towards minorities
In the name of law enforcement

Men who justify
Every acts of ****** predation
On young and vulnerable women

Men who justify
Catastrophic damage to the environment
In the pursuit of material wealth

Men who exploit
The birth rights of others
Through cunning trickery

Expose
And explore the ugly impulses that drive your behaviours

Transform
The dark energies that lurk within you

Educate
Yourselves so that you may treasure others

Extinguish
Your arrogance and shine with decency

Men
This is how you can change the world

I am happiest
During days full of creativity
In which I am working with others
To create something new

Mr Duke
Your music
Makes me
Feel…
…cool
Relaxed
Happy

Young

Mr Duke
You play
With a smile
And your joy
Is felt
By those
In your band

Mr Duke
I get
Where
You’re coming from

A place
Of love

When you are beaten
In a fair contest
You must step aside
And may way for the victor

Refusing to budge
Criticising the process
Blaming others
Betrays inner weakness

Humility and grace in defeat
Willingness to learn and contribute again
Should be the way
And are signs of strength

What are you dreaming of?

You seem so comfortable and warm
Lying curled up on my bed

What goes through your mind
When your eyes are closed
And your breathing is slow?

What is it you are dreaming of?

What will tomorrow bring for you?
What is it that you long for?
What does happiness mean to you, I wonder?

Are your dreams different from my own?
What is it you are dreaming of?

Close your eyes
Remember yourself
Ten or fifteen years back

You were different then
Life was different
Does it feel connected
To now?
Do you feel connected to then?

We can live
Many lifetimes
In the space of just one
If we put our minds to it

We can weave
A rich patchwork
Of experiences and learning
Expressing
Who we are
If we dare to challenge
Our circumstances

Each time I think of global stuff
It puts me in a swirl
I arrive back where I started from
Round and round the carousel

I don’t know what is real or not
I’m in a kind of daze
Who knows what the future holds
Or how to navigate this maze

What lies beyond the familiar
Is a future yet described
I need to find my courage
For a brighter picture in my mind

So if I’ve put things off too long
And laid out in the sun
It’s because I just can’t tell you straight
Precisely what should now be done

In a year or two we will reflect
On these years of human struggle
And wonder how we made it through
This man created muddle

I guess it’s all a part of life’s
Great journey that were on
We’d better make the best of things
For soon we’ll all be gone

What is this disease?
Have we really been at ease recently?
Or have we been made uneasy or dis-eased
By the current of our times?

The swell of our humanity
Has brought us all to this point
Engines of acquisition
In which we buy cheap and sell dear
Have landed us all…here

Was it really that easy
For us all to live
In the way we have been living?

Perhaps if our energies had been directed
Towards the goals of all humanity
Perhaps this dis-ease would have been transformed
And we would all sleep better, feel better
Knowing that our energies had been put
To the very best use...

What is this world that we have created?
Is it the very best we can imagine?

What if we all closed our eyes
For one whole minute
And imagined a world just the way we wanted it to be

Perhaps we wouldn’t need to pray to the Gods
For a heavenly afterlife
Perhaps we could create the world
That everyone would want to live in
Instead

Perhaps
Finally
The tide
Is turning

For years
The cheats
And liars
Have prospered

And now
At last
The honest
Have fought back

To hold the powerful
And dangerous
To account

The leaves are changing
And so are we

Summer is passed
And the things we have done
Have become
Memories

The trees
Stand quietly
Reminders of more abundant times

But the air has changed
And coats are being drawn from cupboards

It feels like now we should grieve
For the times when we were
Just relaxing together

Fresh challenges lie ahead
Who knows what they will be?
They must be tackled
Endured
Experienced
Overcome

But for just a moment
I will taste the nostalgia
Of all that has passed

There will always be days like these
In which you feel
Nothing
But emptiness

Days for which you have to put on
A brave face
And pretend
To be cheerful

There will be always be days like these
When the wolves will circle
And you struggle to imagine
If they will ever leave

And you question whether
You can hold it together
Or whether it will all simply
Fall apart

There will always be days like these
When winter seemed destined to last
Forever
And spring feels just too distant
To even be real

But remember

These days will pass
They will always pass
And one day you will feel the sun on your face
And joy in your heart
Again

I sit and watch the tide come in
I watch wild flames engulf dry wood
I watch the green eyes of my wife
I sit with the unease of my humanity

We couldn’t resist
Taking a dip
When we went to the coast

High tide sea was still and pure
Lapping the sandy beach
Beckoning softly

Cursing we had no swimmers
We looked at each other
And made up our minds in an instant

In we would go
Just to feel the glow
That comes from a swim
In the icy floe.

Jeans and jumpers
Were left stranded on the beach
And bewildered walkers
Watched us shiver

As we waded into the silvery blue
One step, another, another
No chance to change our minds
In we go
Wow, woop, weee, hieee
Its’ cold but oh so…

I swim to warm myself
You float and smile
And we are in the glorious sea
Whilst the walkers watch on in curiosity
And children play with the sand
And then, the treat
Of hot coffee on the beach
To warm us up
It was such a lovely day

Why is it
That every time we meet
The emotional furnaces of the past
Bubble up and blast?

America is burning
Once again

The rage of good kind people
Burns
At this cruel
Barbarism

Why is it
That skin colour
Still divides
Human beings

They say
'Things have changed'
'Things are better now'

But has anything changed?
Really?

Can anyone
Say anything
To put this terrible wrong
To right?

Does anybody
Have an answer
To this human sickness?

Today we played a silly game
And laughed and laughed
And laughed

This is what we should do
More often

If I had a fraction
Of the ease
With which
You embrace life
I would be
A million times happier

But my nature
Is different to yours
My journey
Apposite

I can learn from you
Observing
Your embodied qualities
Pondering
Their meanings

When something is wrong
We can’t turn a blind eye
Or look the other way

We have to step up
As America and cry
People over party!

One of those crows
Knows
How to glide
In the air outside

One of those crows
Knows
How to ride
Slip and slide

One of those crows
Knows
What to do
To catch the flue

One of those crows
Knows
How to be free
Easily

Life is a risk
Threat lies everywhere
As does opportunity
Life is full of such things

We are but living beings
Held in the most delicate balance
Between normality
And extinction

And there is joy to be found
In the very essence of living
No matter what or where
We find ourselves

If we can but remember this
Then each moment becomes precious
Unique
Memorable

One - tries
To outshine
The other

How does what I have done
Make you feel?
Make me feel?

Let me show you
My latest video
And tell you about my great battles
And marvellous achievements

Why must you tell me?
Does this make you great?
Greater than me
More valuable, more worthy
Of our parents love?

Are you trying to show me
A successful way to live?
Is THIS  how to do it?

We emerged from the same womb
But our journeys in this world
Have taken us to different places
In different ways

What is more important?
Our shared heritage
Or our divergent paths?

For the sake of peace
Let us share love with humility
Express kindness and consideration
Not pride and competition

When we talk
I find out things about you
That I didn’t know

When we talk
I discover beliefs that I have held
And never shared

When we talk
The energy between us
Causes me to grow and change

Thank you for this day
For the air that we breathed
For the conversations we have had
For the hug that we shared

Thank you for this day
For the purring of my cats
For the blowing of the wind
For the wildness of the sea

Thank you for this day
For the beating of our hearts
For the smiles that we shared
And the love that we felt

Thank you for this day
For the work that was done
For the food that was cooked
And the wine that was shared

Thank you for this day
For the night is pressing in
And the stars start to shimmer
And we settle down to sleep

To have it
Means you can do it

To lose it
Means you might trip up

To develop it
Means you get better at things

To teach it
Builds your own

When you arrived
I vowed never to leave you
When you stumbled
I was there to hold you
As you grew
I was there to catch you
When you ran
I was there to follow you

When my heart was breaking
You were growing older
I thought at that age
You'd be strong enough
For the change

When I left
I thought it would be ok for you

But I was wrong
I was wrong

Though I lived but five minutes away
For you it was a million miles

Although I saw you every day
The nights were hardest

When I came back
You were angry
And couldn’t forgive me
For the past

And I know
In breaking my vow
I was wrong

One day I hope
I can talk of the hurt we all went through
And help your injured heart
To heal

But for now
I am sorry
And will work
To earn your trust
And hold you
With my life
Once more

Morning dew
Whispered dreams
Rainbow Colours
Silver Streams
Heartbeat
Evergreen

You give to me

Time stands still
Meet my gaze
Sunbeams
Through a morning haze
All these things
Every day

You give to me

Young woman
Your heart is growing
From that of a girl
Protected by a bubble  
Of family, play and beauty

To that of a woman
Faced with the brutal realities
Of society and all its misogyny
And it is no wonder
That you suffer
With anxiety and depression

I wish that the world
Was a better place
For you
And all young women

What if the things we believe in
Came true?

If we truly believe in heaven
We would one day end up there?

What if reality
Was a complete product of our beliefs?

Then again, what if it wasn’t?

What if we things we believed in
Never happened?

Then there would be no reason
To believe in anything

And it follows that in time
We would cease to believe
In the importance or relevance
Of our own existence

And then we would, in time
Cease to exist

But we do exist

And we do have beliefs

So if our beliefs
Do create our reality

Why do we struggle
To believe in a better life?

Why do we reject the possibility
Of creating a paradise on earth?

You have dug your heels in
And you are staying put

I’m trying to move forward
And I want you to come with me

But you won’t
So, I have to go it alone

Perhaps we will meet again
But perhaps we will not

We shared some time
On earth together

Yet who knows what will happen
To anyone of us in the future?

So all I can do
Is bid you Farewell

If things didn’t work out
The way we wanted
In the political world

I guess we will have
To make things happen
The way we want them to
In the real world

Maybe those who make
The biggest mistakes
Are the ones who take
The biggest risks

And those who never make
Any mistakes
Never stray
Beyond their comfort zone

It is to be expected
That one should feel low,
Tired or fragile
When a commitment is made
To a new way of living

The old way
Was familiar
Usual
Known
Limited

But this new way
Is tiring
Challenging
Revealing
But ultimately
More fulfilling

It’s been a very tough year
For everyone

Our nations
Have suffered
So much

It is bonds of friendship
That hold us all together

And your one kind act
Has greater significance
Than you realise

Encouraging me
And my friends
Greatly

Thank you

Perfectly round
No matter which way you turn me
I hold my shape

Inside of me
I hold the air
And my surface is smooth and curved

I can sway in the breeze
And float on the currents
I can inspire your gasps and your wonderment

Your oohs and aahs
But don’t touch me
Or I will implode

Vanish in a second
Be here
Then not

I will release the air inside me
And will no longer keep
The wider world at bay

I will be gone forever
And it will be
Like I never existed

I am a bubble
And while I am here
I am beautiful

But come close to me
And
Pop

What does success look like?
What does victory in life
Look like?

My mind flits
From moment to moment
And I wonder
Am I ok?
Am I prepared to face the day?
Have I done enough?
Am I doing enough?
What is … enough?

Have I achieved success?
Who decides what success is?
Why do I even think in these terms?

I am the only one
Who can guide this particular ship
I alone stand at the dials and levers
Of my own life

And yet
I suspect
That beneath my conscious mind
There are dials and levers
Whirring and buzzing
Of which I am not aware
Pushing me in directions
I cannot explain

Is this a good thing?
Is it bad?

At the end of this trip
Where will I be?
What will I know?
What will I feel?
Is there some kind of legacy?

It is become October
In the year of 2020
And bad news is on the rise
Once more

But I am still here
Thinking of all these things
And sharing my thoughts
With you

Bird

Soaring
Free
Happy

I wish
I could fly
Just like you

Those

Who give it all

Win

It’s falling apart
Because it couldn’t hold together any longer

Lies leak in time
And castles built on dishonesty
Will succumb to the tides
Of truth and justice

These times
Of exploitation
Will pass

And their perpetrators
Will be remembered
Not for the power they once wielded
But for their shame