I always cry
When I run a fever
Needing to become childlike
Vulnerable

I reach out
For feminine energy
To comfort me
And help me recover

I am writing the future
With my pen
Whether I like it
Or not

I am instructing the universe
With my voice
Whether I like it or not

I am building the world
With my actions
Whether I like it or not

My family is the soil from which I grow
And the earth to which I will return

International Law
Is not negotiable
Not interpretable
Not to be tampered with
Or sneaked around

Not to be discarded
Not to be ignored
It is there to uphold
The value and integrity
Of human beings

It is said we face
The worst economic decline
In 300 years

So be it

Would we prefer
An economic acceleration?
Has our economic activity created
The world we really desire?

Perhaps we should slow down
And let the environment
Recover?

After all
Economic prosperity
Does not equal happiness

Fill your cup with alcohol
To drown out the silence

One day
It will be a crime
To cut down trees

After months of politicians
Talking, shouting
Avoiding, annoying
Appearing, disappearing
Wheeling, dealing
Promising, denying
Lying, bribing
Flying, running
Walking, joking
Mocking, shocking
Knocking, flocking
Blocking, quaffing
Scoffing and parroting

It all comes down to this
A pencil
Some paper
A choice
A cross
A box
Some counting
Some checking
An announcement
An ending for losers
A beginning for winners
A new regime
Voted in
That will affect the lives
Of everyone

Precious, hopeful,
Unique, fragile
Growing, uncertain,
Peculiar, shy

Child
You are
Nothing short
Of universe
Encapsulated
In single form

Embodied spirit
Of greatest energy
All things loaded
In your youthful shell

Limitless possibilities
For your happiness
Lie inside
Awaiting
A cause

I want to walk
And keep walking
Until I can’t walk any more

I want to be late
To the places that
I am expected

I want to fail
To turn up
Because I am too far gone

I want to walk
And walk
And walk

I want to hurl my mobile phone
Into the sea
And empty my pockets
Of credit cards and keys

I want to walk
Beyond people
And cars and shops
And throw my clothes
Away by the wayside

I want to walk
Until I am completely exhausted
Walk until I meet
Nothing but nature
And then I will lie down
And bury myself
In pure untainted earth

And there I will wait
Until I transform
Into a magnificent tree
******* carbon dioxide
From out of thin air
And turning it into solid matter

And I will grow and grow
Year after year
Knowing that I am doing something
Wonderful and creative

I will lean into the winds
Drink of the rain
Reach for the sunlight
Tingle with the snow

And I will live
True to my nature
Nothing but true
Growing and giving
Growing and giving

And when the time comes
For me to die
I will rock in the breeze
Until I rock too far

And I will crash
Crack and fall
Until I am left lying
Next to the earth
Whispering my thoughts
Unafraid

And time will pass
And I will fade
Until there is nothing left of me
At all

We couldn’t resist
Taking a dip
When we went to the coast

High tide sea was still and pure
Lapping the sandy beach
Beckoning softly

Cursing we had no swimmers
We looked at each other
And made up our minds in an instant

In we would go
Just to feel the glow
That comes from a swim
In the icy floe.

Jeans and jumpers
Were left stranded on the beach
And bewildered walkers
Watched us shiver

As we waded into the silvery blue
One step, another, another
No chance to change our minds
In we go
Wow, woop, weee, hieee
Its’ cold but oh so…

I swim to warm myself
You float and smile
And we are in the glorious sea
Whilst the walkers watch on in curiosity
And children play with the sand
And then, the treat
Of hot coffee on the beach
To warm us up
It was such a lovely day

Sandy yellow
Orange
Green

These are the layers
Of colour
Painted by the brush

They swirl and swish
Across the page
Making patterns
That soothe my eyes

As I stare
I see faces
In the colours
Looking back at me

Colours
Make my soul
Dance with life

They remind me
Of the beauty of this world
And change how I feel

If you explore your dreams
Capture them while they are fresh
Turn them into words
Inscribe them in your life

If you can take a step
Then another
Continue
Even though winds rage
And the rain crashes down

If you can keep your dreams sacred
Thank those who travel with you
Remember the unique and beautiful nature of your soul
And your humanity

Continue to journey
Right until the very end
Moving with dignity
Taking great pains
Taking great care
Never giving up
Never losing hope

Then my friend
It will come to you

It will come to you

For you are a child of the universe
Most precious creation
Of the most precious creativity

You will have fulfilled your purpose
And shone for who you truly are

What is faith?

Is it the struggle towards dreams
Based on the belief
That our dreams will come to be
Although one doesn’t
Have the slightest clue how to achieve them

What is faith?

Is it the belief
In the power that lies inside of each individual
A power so strong and vast
That is can deliver happiness across the entire planet?

What is faith?

Is it to be found in taking action
Even though a single action
May be so small
That one thinks it will make no difference at all

What is faith?

Is it the belief that everything will be all right
And turn out well
In the end?

What is faith?

Is it the belief that people who work for good
Actually do make the world
A better place?
And is it the belief
That cruel people will get
Their just deserve

What is faith?

Is it the belief that all the walls
Build around our hearts and across our lands
That keep people apart
Will one day topple?
Is it the idea that human beings
Were meant to share,
To love, to embrace, to dance,
To sing, to enjoy living and be truly happy together?

What is faith?
What is...
Faith?

After months of politicians
Talking, shouting
Avoiding, annoying
Appearing, disappearing
Wheeling, dealing
Promising, denying
Lying, bribing
Flying, running
Walking, joking
Mocking, shocking
Knocking, flocking
Blocking, quaffing
Scoffing and parroting

It all comes down to this
A pencil
Some paper
A choice
A cross
A box
Some counting
Some checking
An announcement
An ending for losers
A beginning for winners
A new regime
Voted in
That will affect the lives
Of everyone

There’s money for a crisis
To spray oceans of disinfectant
To lock down whole countries
And restrain all people

But there’s no money there
To clean the air
Depollute the seas
Or plant more trees

Why do we fight so hard
To preserve the broken status quo
When what is needed is change
And a new way of living?

Panic attacks
Build
And explode
Then pass
As transient
As April showers
Banished by the sunshine
Leaving barely a trace
But certain to return

Without this tree
I could not see the daily patterns of sunrise
Reaching through the canopy
Without this tree
I could not hear the interplay
Of the late summer breeze and the yet green leaves
Without this tree
I would not learn how to stand strong
When the fiercest gales are raging
Without this tree
I would not understand
The necessity for endurance if the bitter cold of winter
Seemed interminable
Without this tree
I could not wonder at
The dignity and beauty of a hundred years of patient growth
Without this tree
I would not hear the melodious calls
Of a thousand different birds
Without this tree
I would have nowhere to tie
The far end of my washing line
Without this tree
Life would not be
As I know it to be

A door is a gateway
To a new possibility
Some doors
Have many locks, chains and bolts
Designed to keep all but a few
Outside

Some doors are simple, unlockable
Easily opened
As long as you can reach the handle

Some doors are left ajar
And others
Are flung wide open

The human heart is like a door
Sometimes open
Sometimes firmly shut

A heart that is open
Allows others to enter
A heart that is locked
Will in time become
Desolate and isolated

Today our street partied
Although we kept two metres apart

We danced and sung
And played music

And met each other
With open hearts

This would never have happened
Were it not for the time
We are all living through

Adversity has brought us together
And our street
Is a stronger community for it

Thank you Rochford Avenue
For the best ever street party

The anger
Of the poor
Is being manipulated
By the cunning
Of the rich

Sly politicians
Take their chance
Tightening the
Screws
Of an ugly power

One day
In the future
The people will be free
And those who have connived
And tricked
Will be exposed

And their misdemeanours
Will be written
In the pages of history
And their evils acts
Reviled by all

And the people will wonder
How did it continue for so long
Until it was all stopped?

Everything is lighter
Brighter
Clearer
Than it was

Perhaps we have turned a corner
And now we can see
Our goal
At last

Perhaps we are more steadfast
Resilient
Aware and connected
Than we were
Before the storm

For when the storm has passed
You can see those
Who have travelled with you
In their true light
And what you have shared
Together
Is sacred and precious

Winter is hard
Whether it is the winter of the season
Or winter of the soul
But as a wise man said
Winter always turns to Spring
And perhaps now
We can enjoy
The fruits of our labours
The results of our endurance

I see ghosts in the woods
They are everywhere

Standing in the trees
Bathing in the lakes

Embodied in the bricks of the priory
Everywhere

We have been born
Into the world created by these ghosts

And we are the ghosts
Creating the world out children will inherit

One day I will be a ghost
Standing in the trees
Bathing in the lakes
Embodied in the bricks of buildings

Will I terrify the children?
Or will I have made them smile?

They say a vaccine is coming
And I feel like dancing
They say it is 90% effective
And I feel like laughing
They say life could return to normal next Spring
And I feel like hugging

This has been a long time coming
But am I celebrating a false dawn?

I don’t want to go on
But it’s all I can talk about
It’s the same old song
That my brain just won't clear out

I should be strong
But being weak is appealing
I shouldn’t go on
But it’s just how I'm feeling

How long will they listen?
If I go on complaining
Will they whisper ‘how boring’
And stop enquiring?

It’s a drag being ill
Much better, being 'better'
To have good health
Is something to treasure

So ***** to you Covid
And off with my head
Its laptop and Netflix
That I take to my bed

Continue
Never give up
Change something
Change yourself
Never be defeated
No matter what
Never relent
Pray

In the world of stories
Right and wrong are clear
The good prevail
And the bad founder

In the world in which we live
Tyrants enjoy power and wealth
And the meek do not inherit anything

As it continues
The meek, wishing to escape their poverty
Follow the example of the leaders
And become tyrannous themselves
And society gradually rots

Those who do right
For themselves and others
Resisting the tyranny
Speaking the truth

Are society’s only hope

Death happens every day
From the smallest insect
To the most giant of all beasts
Death happens every day

We live our lives
As if we will all live forever
Carry on taking it all for granted
Carrying on until

One day, a friend dies
And everything stops
And somehow takes on
A different meaning

At least for a while
At least for a while

We stop, we gather
We think and feel differently
We cry, we remember, we pray, we sleep,
Strangely exhausted from our grief

And then we return to life
Back to our routine
Back to being surrounded by
Thousands of deaths, insignificant to us, invisible to us

Yet we should remember
That one day we will be gone,
As will all of those around us
And that means something to everyone

This moment is a memory
The burning red colours of winter leaves
Shining like torches in morning light

Bare branches
Luminous green with moss
Reaching out into space
Like spiders’ legs

Sun rising
Painting the pink of salmon
Across a turquoise sky
Clean white frost
Spread evenly over roof tiles

Everything has a winter feel to it

I walk the streets
With lines on my face
And shadows beneath my eyes

Each winter
That I am here
Part of me dies
Only for rebirth to come
With the spring

Sometimes I yearn for it all to end
This struggle, this journeying
To and fro
To and fro

A better part of me
Demands that I treasure each moment
For one day
It will all be over

And I won’t see the seagulls diving
I won’t gaze at the sunrise
I won’t witness the cycle of nature
I won’t breathe the crisp morning air
I won’t feel the warmth of my bed
I won’t hear the voices of my loved ones
I won’t share the balm of togetherness
Anymore

Your soft and tender voice
Has tipped me over

The emotions that I have held
Under my skin
Mist my eyes
And moisten
My cheeks

You share your heart in song
And move me from my place
I, your father, watch from the crowd
As you have become a flower
More beautiful than I could dream of

Precious, tender and sweet
Filled with greater courage
Than I could ever muster
You sing for the first time

The hospitals are quieter at night
Nurses sit at desks reading case notes by lamplight
Preparing medicines, making their checks
As Doctors try to sleep
Restless, expecting to be called

Patients try and doze
Removed from the familiarity of home
They contemplate life in the growing darkness
Wondering how they have come to be here

Cleaners dust handrails and mop floors
This is all part of another days work for them
Nothing extraordinary
They sweep away the dramas of the day
Dispersing the difficult conversations
Polishing the tear stained floors of waiting rooms
Preparing each room for another life and death battle

They will puff ******* cigarettes and pull coats around them
When they finish their shifts

The hiss of oxygen dancing through plastic tubes
Mixing with the hoots of owls
While balmy air floats over the concrete roofs

Sunrise is a long way off
And the night will grow darker and darker still
Tomorrow, some will go home
Other will take their last breath
Make their last gaze
Have their last contact with another human
Tomorrow feels like a long way away

Machines will deliver cheap coffee
In plastic cups to offer hot comfort
For weary relatives and night time arrivals
And tired eyes will blink
Under strip lighting, wishing they were tucked up at home

At eight o’clock the shutters of the café will be pulled up
And ordinary people will awaken the corridors
Banishing the spirits of the night hospital

But for now, though, the world sleeps
The hospital only waits
Never sleeping, only waiting for life to take its next turn

To be in this team
Surrounded by friends
Willing each other on
Even though
We might be defeated
By these circumstances
Is precious

For when we look back
We know
That we will have fought together
And our shared struggle will be
Such a precious memory
That when our victory comes
It will be that much sweeter
And we will celebrate
All the more

My head is pounding
My legs are aching
I’m a down with something
I don’t know what

So I take some air
Walk the streets
Slower than usual
Sipping the evening air

The good people of this town
Are inside their houses
Watching TV
Playing with their children

I walk down the street
And wonder at the myriad stories
That lie behind every window
In every house

Love is
A warm drink on a cold day
A familiar blanket to a child
A mother’s embrace
A scarf to wrap around my neck

Love is
The smell of coffee roasting on winter afternoons
Glistening waterfalls
The burst of spring
Newborn kitten’s nestling together

Love is
Distant bells ringing
Wedding gatherings
The sun setting
Quiet times, together

How can this sky
Offer so many variations
In a single day?

Deep blue skies
Hosted a golden sunrise
Borne of the East

In early afternoon
Sharp whites, greens, browns and silvers
Decorated the waters edge
With glistening clarity

Early evening
The sky was halved
By a double rainbow
Deep grey on one side, lilac and pink the other

At sunset
A cherry red sheen
Illuminated the leaves
On the great tree
Outside my window

At night
Plum colours
Hold the silence

Fires are burning
Ice is melting
Sea levels are rising
People are dying

But still
Around the world
Men are fighting
For power

Power!

Power?

Why?

What do they wish
To behold?
Their name in history?
As leaders
Who carried their people
To oblivion?

Is it for fame?
Fortune?
Recognition?
Love?
Immortality?

Fires are burning
Ice is melting
Sea levels are rising
People are dying

And still these men

Fight
For power

The part of you
That was never looked after
As a child
Suffocates
Beneath heavy layers of protective material
Laid down over years
Of earthly living

And so
You do not know
How to love fully

But you can learn

Reach deep into your spirit
Befriend the frightened child
Bore a channel through your armour
And allow the limitless love
Trapped in your life
To flow forth freely

So you wish I was dead
You wish you could extinguish
My very presence from your life

You wish you had never met me
And that you had a life with someone else
Someone better

So you wish that I would disappear
You wish that the earth would swallow me up
You wish that the love I tried to give
Would vanish into a dark distant abyss

You wish that all of the things I ever did
Were extinguished from history
And that there was nothing but air
In my stead

Well I am sorry
But I do exist
And all the things I have tried to do
Are inextinguishable
Including the things I tried to do for you
They have all left their mark on our history

And because you wish me gone
I no longer know anything about anything
And I feel my heart sinking
And I wish that I could vanish into thin air
And that by doing so
I would feel nothing
Not even my own existence

But I know enough to know
That wherever I go
Whatever I do
I will not be able to escape the person I am
I am not able to escape the things that I have done
Or the upset that I have caused
Or the joy I may have given
And so here I am

This person who you would have gone
Still here
Just
Here

What is left
When everything is taken away
What do we miss the most?
What have we taken for granted?

What lies ahead
Beyond the storm?
What will we build?
What will we treasure?
What will we discard?

All past adventures
Seem like dreams
And all chasing of recognition and notoriety
Seem even more shallow
As we gaze backwards
Through our new lens

Paradise must be built
We cannot compromise our planet any further
Air must be clean, water must run pure
Trees must prevail in much greater numbers
And humans must remember
This painful time

I’ve got it

And I must isolate by law

How will the next few weeks go?
Only time will tell

I pray for my family’s health

This winter
Might be tougher
Than I had predicted

Rose
What do you do at night
When I can no longer see you?
What happens to your rich colour
And your delicate scent?

Do you wait
For the return of the sun
Eager to display
Your natural elegance?

Or perhaps you disappear
Into some other dimension
Where you dance and sing
To crowds of admirers
Rushing to reappear just in time for dawn?

If I were to shine a torch upon your body tonight
Would you still shine with such beauty?
Or would you be lesser
Than your daytime self?

Rose
What do you do at night?

Maybe you sleep
And dream of butterflies and warmth?
Maybe you cast spells
Over the crawling creatures of the night?
Maybe you wait, quietly, patiently
Shivering in the autumn chill
Calling for a lover
To come and rescue you

Rose
What do you do at night?

Friend
You are gone too soon
From this earthly place

Gone too soon
And so quickly
That I wasn’t able to say
'Goodbye'
I didn’t even say
‘Thank you’
And I am so sorry for that

Friend,
I feel that your energy
Is still surrounding me
And that you are watching
What is happening in this world
Observing what we will do next

And I know
That I must act wisely and truthfully
If I am to honour you
And all the things
That you stood for

Friend
You didn’t want to talk about your illness
You preferred to work and work
Right until the end
Giving all that you could
To those who depended on you

And now your departure
Has shaken us all
Left us shocked and stunned
Barely able to understand
Anything at all

Friend
Your life was as beautiful
And strong
As a diamond
Your commitment to building community
Unshakeable

Friend
You will be missed
By so many people

Perhaps you didn’t realise
What you meant to them all

Perhaps you did

Maybe you knew
That your time
Was drawing near
And you needed to be
Near your birthplace
Far away from this place
Surrounded by your children
And your parents

And we
Will gather together
When you are laid to rest
To mourn
The passing
Of an honest
True
Friend

On this day
The sun
Drifts across
Our planet’s equator

Day that exceeded night,
Balances
For a single day
Only to fall to deficit
As night’s lengthen
And the darkness
Takes hold

We drift
From the light
Into the dark
And we must prepare
To survive
Journeying inwards
As we face
Winter

And it will
Be a time
Where new treasures
Of the heart
Will be created
And held
Sparkling in the gloom
Illuminating the world
Until we emerge
In the spring
Wiser, stronger
Ready for new growth

There is a strange kind of magic in the air
It is the return of Spring
Sounds of nature
Unpolluted by mechanised human activity
Float through the air

I can actually hear the birds sing
And bees and insects buzzing along

The natural world is showing us
That there is beauty all around
If we allow it space
And offer it our respect

The human race
Has stopped racing
For a brief span of time
And it feels like the natural world
Is breathing a sigh
Of relief

What is this disease?
Have we really been at ease recently?
Or have we been made uneasy or dis-eased
By the current of our times?

The swell of our humanity
Has brought us all to this point
Engines of acquisition
In which we buy cheap and sell dear
Have landed us all…here

Was it really that easy
For us all to live
In the way we have been living?

Perhaps if our energies had been directed
Towards the goals of all humanity
Perhaps this dis-ease would have been transformed
And we would all sleep better, feel better
Knowing that our energies had been put
To the very best use...

What is this world that we have created?
Is it the very best we can imagine?

What if we all closed our eyes
For one whole minute
And imagined a world just the way we wanted it to be

Perhaps we wouldn’t need to pray to the Gods
For a heavenly afterlife
Perhaps we could create the world
That everyone would want to live in
Instead

Behind my eyelids
Shades of deep pink and purple
Pulse and glow
With the vibration of the sound energy

I am travelling into a higher world
On a magic carpet
Woven of music

Am I over-stimulating myself
With my plans, hopes and dreams?

Is a life’s work nothing but endless torment and toil?

How much can one brain handle
How much effort can one person make

What is the destination for all this
Merely survival?  Collapse?

To what end have we set ourselves
On what course are we advancing?

Tonight at 7pm UK time
People around the world
Prayed for ‘gentle rain’
To fall and extinguish the Australian bushfires
That have killed five hundred million animals
Destroyed one thousand homes
Ended seven human lives

Sometimes
All we can do
Is pray

Never gone hungry
Never slept rough
Never been beaten
Nor outcast

Never been enslaved
Or forced to flee
Never been attacked
Just for being me

Men who justify
Everyday acts of violence towards minorities
In the name of law enforcement

Men who justify
Every acts of ****** predation
On young and vulnerable women

Men who justify
Catastrophic damage to the environment
In the pursuit of material wealth

Men who exploit
The birth rights of others
Through cunning trickery

Expose
And explore the ugly impulses that drive your behaviours

Transform
The dark energies that lurk within you

Educate
Yourselves so that you may treasure others

Extinguish
Your arrogance and shine with decency

Men
This is how you can change the world