Saying it isn't feeling it
And feeling it isn't breathing it

Breathing it isn't living it
And living it isn't being in it

Being in it isn't believing in it
And believing in it isn't seeing it

Seeing it isn't abiding in it
And abiding in it isn't contentment in it

And the act (therein)
Doesn't begin without the feeling of it

Just a look is all it takes to keep
My mind from drifting off again
Into what promises tell me
And yet my heart knows not will be
An eternal sleep

Just a second alone
With those eyes of yours will find
Within me burning like a freshly struck match
A fire so humble and a wisp so keen
To been seen for an instant more longer than sleep

Just to tarry with you here, my love,
Is beyond that of the summer afternoon dreams

No second ever existed
Without a human mind first
Trying to tie at knots and count creation

Were I to be
Even an inconstant breeze
In the sails of your chest
Occasionally
I would never be lacking
In joy or breath
Or in breathing or sense
I would never be without
Or separated from want of
This breathy desire

The way you wear clothes is killing me slow

His standards
No pole vaulter on acid could touch
So high

seeing you
in minds eye now
and your winding ways
of browning trees
makes me remember and breathe
in the taste of cold
which November only knows
and December wishes it could be
(or was)

I pulled out a tiny little cathexis stick
and toasted the sky with your words of gray
until they bubbled in brown
and could breathe sweet again
having been sent home
to heaven where they belong

Yours were never mine to keep

There are days when I am in love with eyes
the world in looks
and the passing by glances
of a newfound friendship, and fondness revived

And then there are days
like this one en which,
there is not enough dirt on the surface of the entire earth
to cover all of you

to hold your image (in my mind)
is more difficult than I could know,
or you, could even begin to search,
[let alone find]

to hold a hand (once not your own)
no self can lend a moments peace
when searching for a hold in stone
[a fragile piece]

a gift is not always to keep

mhmm...

I don't know why...

The moon in its endearing way
Encircles us on breathless string along
Or why the tides cry ill each night
Only to be in court for the hearing at dawn

The rushing lawns of browning green
Or why they need a trim to fall
Or the crisping leaves of sweeping scenes
And why they whisper around me at all

The rock and stone the smoothing ore
Beneath waters rushing to and fro
No crackling snow left sparks alive
No mountain stream running by itself alone

But out of all of these things which I do not know
Of what and why and whethering seems
Like the lines of growing seeds to sow
Why it's your eyes behind that I wish to know

I don't.

Mountains are not mountains
IF
You neither climb
Nor longingly look
Towards
Their present absence

I love the reflected sheen of light
Which glows and grows off of floors unclean
And creates horizons unhigh

My eyes know these sights most well
And like them most ardently

This censor of mine, alone

Deep water found
In a wellspring of being
Would you be, and want
To be refreshed and renewed
Not as immortal songs
But as the sound of running water
On a washboard bed of stones
Turn over again
I, in sleeping here, next to you

Tear out my heart like a missing page. I turn and turn to live again.
Her will to read in nature's storm. Once born of being, is there and then.
When your eyesight was ever mine to upend? Or to try and mend.
You see? It never was once me.
That is until your rain begins again. Anew.

disparaging,
is the discovered place. when a friend moves on in a walking fashion, and your feet, unbudging, with all of their reserved and well-padded soles,
remain

spin me like an old record fine
with a crackling sea
in an endless summers day to see

and hear what you will
I, between these vinal keys
humming brightly refined

wherever memories may be
there also you will find
the shores on which our oceans first met

this
continual
collide

A sense of self better known?
Perhaps.
But in the company of those others found, and in the investment free. These betterments and attempted others, will in time, be.
Counted as blessings abound, be they only in the attempt.
In unearthing, we are found or hidden

the most human question in the ever, is not how ... but why?

These very words - are weak and sore - at the attempted expression of all that which - Christ is . In him - I am - both free in death - and life - to be - what I am meant to be .

We forget to breathe and thank God for that freedom of ...
Feelinglessness.

And yet the being (which is).
Is also you, and not.
The breath is yet to be, yet also not be.

What is freedom?

Catch me like the flickering waves
Melding seamlessly into the horizontal sea
Where your memories stare back at you and
Your unconscious eyes of being seek to be

Catch me, my newfound find nearby
For I seek to live flyingly here in your eyes
For just a moment in being this order to free
And in your sight to see

Because the words are my why
Just as these mine are me
Sometimes I write and describe
Just to see if you will read

Opinions are like grains of sand
they're going to exist
regardless of if you're at the beach or not

Unfeeling is no cloud above
Though ground unwilling to hold you fast
Like stars and fires and ocean sands
We turn and burn and age unto ash

Huemen

saying I have been through a lot
is like saying my lungs have been through oceans of air

yet

Being . Is . Fair

The willow strands fall gently down
And sway in unseen breezes felt
Such humming souls among the bees
In awe like stars, awash like waves
And beneath like clouded warmth about
They breathe their breath both in and out
The cooling trusting reflective earth
Which grows and grows beneath the feet
Around such mortal feelings felt
An embrace as such is heavens grace
I wish I want when we're without

My heartache aches
In a streaking falling façade of a homeless soul about-face

Like ink dropped strains across a dripping chest
Revealing no tissue but the clouds and clouded paints

Like a comet dying in the atmospheric life of nothing
Tempting no one to look, but everyone under the sun to see

My hair above me and in moonlight come alive
At the electric touch of your skylight fingers

find me

I swear S O M E T I M E S that
   I'm the only one who see's the sun
   like an arrow dart
   erratically beyond the target of time
   and A R I S E into the sky of life

We all who miss (just high)

when darkness comes
with every closing day in eyes
and we must face, about-face
the restlessness of our untrusting lives
it's in arms and beds and promises
in which we hope to hold and sometimes find
a kindly, sorted, trusted self
a bed on which we all must lie

in sketch or smoke or clouded streak
I just want another draw of you
(to etch and breathe)

You're not captured in your paint,
compelled by stills,
or encompassed by song at all, my friend

No descriptive words can color your sky,
no sprinters length catch you without breath,
or fail to float the fly on the wind, no less

That is unless you let them say
what you are not,
is all you are, untrue

For you are the essence, embodied, reborn
not what anyone else says
or thinks they know of you

pressure is a coin to pass
between train and screaming tracks beneath
with the force of fiction and heat pressed between
so it is in my soul when you are near and unknowingly dear
to me - passing by in fast

when doubt turns back
from gray to blueish hue
the earth itself stops son from spinning
and in directional ways found
bounds down like fog over the mountains
(anew)

turns on its end like the books overthrown
by shifting night and confusing gloom
you were there and saw
the night when it first went missing
(the moon)

and if anyone besides me heard it first
(it was you)

Cackling above the trees like a crow
Above the earth
(which will not grow)

the look beyond
which turns away
is there
(at the end of all our exploring)

WELLING UP inside your eyes
A sky is born above you
And ANEW your stars cry out

Catch me like the flickering waves
Which glisten and meld seamlessly
Into the horizontal sea out there
Where your memories stare back at you
And your unconscious being seeks to be

Catch me, my newfound find nearby
For I seek to live hetr in your eyes
For just a moment to be
And in your sight seen
I created you for me

Because the words are why
Just as these mine are me

Sometimes I write and describe just to see
If you will read

(;