glass on glass
shattered saturdays
past of gladly laying
on the couch, watching football

i felt my legs cemented
in denim, drenched in sweat
vaulting fences in defense
of getting sentenced.

privileged to lay against a bed
when all is said and done
we lay with white linen
reminiscing on the battles won
while darker skinneded children
live in fear for things they haven’t done
privilege.

fluorescent orange
sunset soaring
sore and a syringe
stripping bone so cringe
get a grip, kid
puzzle pieces
biting creases
in my lips
until they bleed
you said you love me
so it's cool goodnight

beyond the safe i thought i made
i found a place to ******* die

i sneezed and my eyes watered
and it felt good because it was the closest i could get to crying despite the demons hiding and flying and the dark clouds colliding
thunderstorms with no chance of precipitation
i want to cry but can’t for the life of me
the faster i run the thinner the air becomes
it’s so hard to breathe and everyday i feel less like myself, a shell and everything i hate is the pearl inside being pressed and designed with hopes that one day it’ll be worth something
i’m jealous of the night sky because even in its darkness, even behind its clouds there’s still stars that shine

i don’t know what i want
but i think i know what i don’t
slowly lowered six feet deep
without a soul to see it

fist to cheek with a bouncer, dodging tabs
or stuck to a cedar stool
eye level with a rocks glass

dimly lit circle of chairs with strangers
sharing stories of some substance
and it’s dangers

christmas  with no gifts
and explaining to my son
why mom and i are taking shifts

these deepest fears feel like reality
and i know my life will lead me
to being slowly lowered six feet deep
without a soul to see it

you take your coffee sweet
vanilla latte with stevia
you treat me like concrete
as i dream of you biting my sheets