i will ice these bones
while you feel at home

it’s the discomfort
in the comfort drenched in sweat
i find so relaxing

beneath the golden iris
blue glare shared between
waves of a luscious green
more stars than i've ever seen
the beauty i can see
everytime you turn to me

suspended in a deepening cold
incessant, never ending
seeping into my bones
you begged me to let you love me
but it's safer to freeze alone

the rogue would often glow in effervescent separate hues of gold worn only as a mask. unknown even to those of his own home. holding tight to hide moments and nights long ago, evident in his possession of a nostalgic playlist entitled “emo.”

foundation giving away
i am surrounded by dirt
falling helplessly grasping
reaching out for roots
and getting nothing in return
but worms and soot.
sometimes the ground we stand on
would rather swallow every foot

suffocating
love’s faded
waited days and days
placated misplaced rage
displaced into this place
ran out of disk space
to save the memories

like pencil lead on scratch paper
scratched that but a tad later i
stenciled dad or divine savior
pancreatic cancer for hard labor
****** barracks room and beatsaber
keep safe in states
united to sleep with cheap skates
carolina reaper states the heat flavor
all my dreams on a piece of paper
scratch paper..

my only solid words
sketched off stencils
when my speech is slurred
whiskey wicked wisdom
stupidly obscured
my favored company’s absurd
lips like lemonade and pure

even darkness is asleep beyond my window
everyone but me, **** of the joke
i felt warmth once
and maybe this will feel like that
every word in every poem
inside my mind is growing, swollen
my knuckles glowing white in anticipation
of the credits rolling

there was a very, wise owl
and one day he spoke to me
he told me that approximately
350,000 people die daily
and today, you were not one of them
so shut the **** up

as i define the muscle
and chisel the truths from stone
the sediment leaves chalk words
on my heart that imply my ill intent
gritting my teeth i repent
that true beauty lies within
because if i can’t change what i hate
then how can i deserve to live?

broken knuckles
holes in walls
blistered palms
battered soul
no answers for a man in pain
no silver lining to clouds of hate
everybody i love hates me too, dude

would it be sincere
this endearing
persevering
list of words
when no ones hearing

catching breath
just beneath the crest
of a sweater vest
better words i’ve said
are always left unsaid

they will only bring you pain
they will only leave me sane
they are always left to rest
unsaid and feelings still remain

talking to a wall
because the windows would be appalled

fragrant flavors of autumn
fallen leaves the flotsam
of summer. spelunking
and plunging into the aesthetic

liquid gold
licking the skyline
picture perfect
your eyeliner
sticks to your bottom eyelid tonight

breath expelled
cake sales excelling
on this day
and an old flame ignited
shock and awe in the faces
of patrons, warranted excitement
is stained by stagnant relationships
in places spaced by millions of paces
miles and miles away

boxer briefs



not boxers
not briefs
barely reached
the space for *****
call of duty
winnie pooh
oversized stained gray tee
shirt from an old team
maybe even summer league
half pint
ice cream
ben
and
jerry
and an entire bottle of irish whiskey

sold all of my ****
at least in my head i did.
i want nothing to do with it
cause all of it feels like you

i’ll play make believe
at a pawn shop on university
i feel like the slate is clean
and now i don’t know what to do

a foreign feeling
a stranger lurking
myself in my own skin
my own evil smirking

beyond the safe i thought i made
i found a place to ******* die

all this time
and all i got

it’s all i am
not what you thought
but what you bought
not what you sought
distraught.

i was meant to be something else entirely
but i forgot.

glass on glass
shattered saturdays
past of gladly laying
on the couch, watching football

it's always been her fear
of inadequacy that distracts her
she can't get passed the anxiety
to pursue her passion
she would rather stand asleep
she's that last to see
that she might be exactly
what this planet needs

i sneezed and my eyes watered
and it felt good because it was the closest i could get to crying despite the demons hiding and flying and the dark clouds colliding
thunderstorms with no chance of precipitation
i want to cry but can’t for the life of me
the faster i run the thinner the air becomes
it’s so hard to breathe and everyday i feel less like myself, a shell and everything i hate is the pearl inside being pressed and designed with hopes that one day it’ll be worth something
i’m jealous of the night sky because even in its darkness, even behind its clouds there’s still stars that shine

i felt my legs cemented
in denim, drenched in sweat
vaulting fences in defense
of getting sentenced.

privileged to lay against a bed
when all is said and done
we lay with white linen
reminiscing on the battles won
while darker skinneded children
live in fear for things they haven’t done
privilege.

coffee beans
ground into
making me feel like me

wet grass as summer retires to fall
i feel the falling temperature
anchoring me

i don’t know what i want
but i think i know what i don’t
slowly lowered six feet deep
without a soul to see it

fist to cheek with a bouncer, dodging tabs
or stuck to a cedar stool
eye level with a rocks glass

dimly lit circle of chairs with strangers
sharing stories of some substance
and it’s dangers

christmas  with no gifts
and explaining to my son
why mom and i are taking shifts

these deepest fears feel like reality
and i know my life will lead me
to being slowly lowered six feet deep
without a soul to see it

the days keep getting longer
i’m in bed before the sun
i tried to escape my hunger
but there’s nowhere left to run
if i could be the hunter
i think that might be fun
swinging at the thunder
but i’m a bullet without a gun

stretched seams
tried to burn myself away
evading questions
about my birthday
or what i’ve been into lately
stitches listing to a dead end
always needing something
or someone to cut the thread

she’s the thorn in the side of my heart
if i had it to do again
i would've skipped this part
it feels like i woke up on an airplane
with a loaded gun
i’m trying to move on
but i keep my shoes on
so i’m always ready to run
it’s not the same
it’ll never be the same
i hope i find another flower
just as pretty as its name

hey, highway flower
don’t let those fumes delude you
you know time is passing by
on its morning commute too
and all those folks burning dinosaurs
fighting all their righteous wars
they never have and never will
have the slightest clue
they passed by too fast
for a chance at a glance
at all your beautiful hues
hey, highway flower
keep on growing
cause that’s all we were really out here to do

as the auctioneer calls out the final bid
i can’t help but think it’s something i did
sinking in mud with you still wet on my lips
trying my hardest to not steer into the skid