beyond the safe i thought i made
i found a place to ******* die

blown beyond
but not between
believe in our best

She’ll never know
The soreness on knuckles
The bite marks on fingers
Anger dispersed upon two by fours
Through veins she’s never felt the pulse of

But she is so beautiful
The stabbing of deeper grey shades
The moon she’s so proud of
The girl I’m so proud of

She’s never been more gorgeous
To me, than seven months
And scribbling on canvas

I beat the **** out of door frames
I bit the hell out of my own hands
I loved the soul out of a woman
And wasn’t even the man I wanted

with every wisp and tail
flickering and disappointing
littering the air with kissed feelings
my sleepy eyes succumb
to shade and lack there of
the flinting glimpses of whisks
my bones are numb

spines quiver
in the bed
pleasure delivered
giving head

ice against a lad’s legs
last mistake a crass shake
knees buckle and you’re *** quakes

you feel an empty heart
beating in the street
and thinks it’s me
reflecting specters
in your speech
if lacerations couldn’t speak
then maybe we
could wake these shaking bones
in our sleep

my toes crawl til the ***** of my feet ache
in all the tales told of hero’s and their hearts break
seconds hand just a second off making heat take
it’s place and release a cold crease now a plea ‘s made
for satan to wait a minute before he rakes
the lives of ones we love and all seems break

fiberglass on lips
ice cube on your ****
liquor in the moment
just remember to forget

i saw the fireworks
and i felt the lightening from it
everything around it so quiet

i am the firework
and i bleed lightening
everything around me so frightening

words are like the squiggle in your eye
just out of reach and then they wiggle
then they die

you drink champagne from a wine flute
but only on occasion
maybe socially, it makes you someone
people want to talk to
i drink beer
alone
at home
watching you

i’ve tried to list
the simple things
to make a list
their uniforms are sick
discarded lipstick
minus six inside of splints
for weak wrists
must be seeking ****
the G split with lighting
strict rules I drooled
on every pillow
zip lipped keeping secrets
this is
butterfly kisses

i’m scared of the future
****** stares through sutures
pirates who don’t understand who you were
Before the scooters with less wheels
Soon we’re dying to try and live
Slippery thighs with lies within
Skinny kids slithering in to the house slytherin
My kids will begin to wither when
Their eyes see the skin their in
You’re working for a scholarship
sent. fist through mirror.

something spanish stutters on our most sentimental silence
A road ribbed on both sides with violence
Finds its place inside its high tide and watching suns set
Like guns sent where nuns went
The feet in shoes on boards on wheels
The street in blues encore on orange peels

I know there’s a problem
This is not who I want be

Diaphragm stretched
Still nothing I could say
Enraged, I threw the bottom shelves out
To make the hiccups go away

Well, I know
I thought about cold toes on linoleum
Insincere notes on a podium
Loving them after you scolded them
Sent to bed but still on wooden steps
Telling stories of policies left unsaid
The qualities of bread

Make me choke on those words
All I thought of was a mask
Despite the fact that
Even the wind was at my back

You thought that I forgot
Since the day I walked away
In the cold incessant autumn
Nothing left to pull my brain
     In the right direction
     If you miss it you’re not paying attention

live in it
with it
inside it

JESUS
not even her
perfect earth
dying alone
the lazy ozone
smoking
and blowing O's
**** it i'm done

will you build a tower in my name
will every step to the top sing to you
will every broken window pane
invite chills down your spine
will you feel the rotten wooden handrail
and brush the cobwebs from the corners
will you see the stars when you arrive
will your eyes meet the ground
will you build a tower in my name

the last bit of salt
like skin on asphalt
cracked skull
broken rib
punctured lung
busted lip
but you're ok, right?

i don't want to care
unfortunately, i do
you're still there
i love you, too.
stop saying that
stop calling me pet names
stop saying that
you're the one to blame
stop saying that
stop talking

she kept talking about larry david
it was destiny for me to give in

in this hall of women
stripping to get money
to pay their groceries
to eat i found love

i'm digging this sound
deep beneath the ground
asleep with the hounds
i'll keep making my rounds

i'm afraid of confrontation
so i'll save it some place vacant
to be stagnant. decapitated.

listen to the pilot
my brain started a riot
violent and vibrant
colliding with the quiet
mind beside me, hiding
lying on the tile
rivalry inside a missile silo
single file through the aisles
all the while you sit and smile
you did it

slave
to the skinny white
staying by the wall
all night

despite how i feel
you're still the one i feel
the fibers sings songs
filled with your name
and memories of it
**** it
**** it
i lie to myself again
void of memories
in which i didn't love
void of memories
in which you did

i hope they know me like you did
but they won't
i wish they could hide like you hid
but they don't
i tried to breathe in the wind
but i choked
i wish i didn't drink six
but i joked

i'm sure it was exciting for you
i only wanted to feel something
the sequel is never as good
everything was sold at auction
cold cement my only friend

with the mentality that i'm
trying to fool myself into believing
i shouldn't care but i do

in clouds
calming down
climbing the walls
of the compound
louder now
but still,
without a sound
commence the countdown

so what will you do when you're dead
will you find someone else's bed
a softer place to lay your pretty head
a easier way to release a ****** day
or will you make it home again.

it was so much easier to pretend
i didn't care when
*i didn't

with filthy, unkept
bloodied hair draping his
gritty, weather stricken face
glaring through frozen
torn eyes that have gone numb
into the punishing sunlight
of the unfathomable wickedness
a question was chained to his
morality dragging it through
nostalgia and the unknown

the waves keeping crashing
to make a sandscape kaleidoscope
despite the dashing young man
vanishing and politely asking
*stop

you produced a pocket
like a pint sized puppy nuzzling
into the bed space between my legs
puzzling how so afraid i laid and ran away
all in the same frame

her best ****
was half drunk
fully clothed
in the front row
of a strangers
disco funeral

it's like pre - gaming really hard
being way to drunk before you even leave
some people need to throw it all up
get it all out and let you know what they ate
others, perhaps the more important bunch
just need time