the cherry sky laughed
it was a beautiful laugh
but only for you

one man's dance
is another man's seizure

not a single frame of your oak eyes today
the only thought i had was of that song
the one at the end of furious seven
how pathetic am i

despite everything
i've frivolously expended
you remain resilient
hang in there, little guy

the same way you don't appreciate sleep until you go twenty four hours without it
is the way i wish you'd appreciate me one day but i doubt it

the words grow wings
and fly just out of reach
the letters grow gills
and disappear into the deep
as i begin to see
the difficulty
in prolificity

i don't like romantic movies
because i know that the end
isn't really the end

build this castle up high in the air
envision if one day the person or people
responsible for giving you life told you
there was no longer any expectations
or aspirations or goals to strive for
your parents don't want you to be a successful doctor
friends don't want you to be their giving tree
your siblings don't expect you to be some all knowing peacekeeper
you don't have to make anyone proud
you can't disappoint anybody
your one directive is to lie there and
enjoy the sunsets and sunrises
and low tides and high tides
you would be pretty **** happy too

they are all so blatantly vile and proud of it in a way i'll never understand.
i don't even know how to combat it anymore.
they accept ownership for every aspect of their unfortunate existence.
kurt travis spoke the truth
we are indeed all so full of ******* ****

the message received
from mother to me
do you have a girlfriend
i laughed myself to sleep

ya know the movies
where they look down a hallway
and it's ceaseless

if i was a betting man,
seventy seven floor tiles.
doesn't sound like a lot
but you fail to consider
the load you're bearing
and at the end of your journey
there's a cat with an appetite for your tongue

i'm drunk
you're drunk
we have so much in common

but you won't remember this
and neither will i
back to page one

and then it hit me!
like a truck or something that hits hard
you are the fly
a figment of my imagination
manifested through lack of sleep
and surplus of cheap german beer

the list of things i wouldn't do
is shorter than the list of things i would do
to see you happy as a ******* clam

you've been playing this game
far too long
to think the rules have changed

you've been singing the same
heartbroken love song
since nineteen ninety eight

every melting second came
something was wrong
but you couldn't give it a name

so you gave it the first one you thought of
you ****** up
accidentally fell in love

the sequel
is never as good as the original

but i'll still pay eight bucks
and sit in a dark room
that smells like ***
with strangers
eating burnt popcorn

to watch you for ninety two minutes

times winding down
sweat eclipses my brow
he shoots
the buzzer sounds
he misses
that's the game, folks

skin kissed
with a golden mist
lips twist like a contortionist
fingertips dipped
in something delicious
chocolate?
cinnamon?
come on then
don't tease
please i want you inside of me

the ides of my youth
i saw 8 different towns
each kept a piece lost

the siren calls out
each day we are reminded
why we are still here

22 years ago you bled for me
in the years that followed you led for me
never once have you fled from me
you would find yourself dead for me
before you would find me hurt
and for that i love you
more than words

demons seeping into
my sleeping mind
the bleeding kind
the serene thoughts
deeply caught
fearlessly fought
tooth and claw
til he too was lost
fearfully sought
assistance from heart
a kindling to start
a fire to burn
a desire i deserve

i'm not okay
but it's easier to lie

last night
a drunk man spoke
"it makes sense
if you make sense
of the things i'm saying"
in the moment
i didn't understand
but now
oh but now
i still don't

keep those words inside
for fear that you might ruin
what's already yours

i cocked back and swung for the fences
you plunged your teeth into its neck
we would've fought to the death
to keep that sun from coming up

the stitches
a constant reminder
that fun turns to pain
a caricature of my life

my head is a lava lamp

It's like when you can't tell
if a light is on or
it's just reflecting off another source

i would say i felt in my soul
your words like a loaded gun
but i am a ginger..i don't have one

when i place everything that i am
and ever was and ever will be
into a blender, the terror in my bones
isn't born from pressing the button
but from dumping the contents out
for you to defenestrate.

under the stars
we fight
in silent wars
til night's
calmness warms
a light
to morning warns
it's almost done
but not until we dance as one
sleep tight

i hate seeing you
with them. we are good friends but
we should be best friends.

are you serious?
****?

i want you to have everything
i want you to have all the smiles
and all the laughs
i want to build you a bridge that stretch for miles
and a bird bath
i want to senselessly steal from children to give you everything you need
and write even happier endings to every book you'll ever read
i want to take from the needy to give you everything you want
and for people to call us greedy for the jewelry you flaunt
i want to give you everything from the east coast to the west
and everything outside of that but only the best
i want to wage war so all you'll know is peace
if my heart was a castle gate i would give you the keys
i want to place you high on a throne of golden bones
to ensure my arms are the only home you'll know

the curtains give this room an orange tint
I sit
cigarette lit
I told you I quit
but sleep soundly, on your pale moon,
as the second of two
bad habits I couldn't kick

i hate you.
for lack of a stronger word.

it's 12:22 am but shortly it'll be 12:23
story
of my life
nobody's gonna get it,
I don't give a ****.
that ones for me.

i want my hands to play
the role of the cradle to your cranium
while my lips play the protagonist
and yours will be the love interest
the conflict consists of lack of breath and sore jaws
five minute recess and then action

and so another night drinking alone
another reminder of a broken home
finding myself like a four leaf clover
i'm so ******* glad valentines day is over

continue to feel
but forget the words you hear
love is not real, fool

sometimes i've touched
sometimes i've felt
sometimes i've tasted
sometimes i've smelled
sometimes i hear
sometimes i feel
sometimes my mind plays tricks
sometimes it's real
sometimes you're never there
sometimes you won't leave
sometimes i'm a sceptic
sometimes i believe
sometimes it's blue
sometimes it's red
sometimes i've followed
sometimes i've led
sometimes i didn't have a clue
sometimes i knew
but one thing remains true
it's always you.

naIve
            Longing
           fOr something
    not eVen a lot
      just Enough
   i founD you
  or did You find me
  three wOrds i could never
              Utter again because you              
                                      kept them.