the siren calls out
each day we are reminded
why we are still here

22 years ago you bled for me
in the years that followed you led for me
never once have you fled from me
you would find yourself dead for me
before you would find me hurt
and for that i love you
more than words

demons seeping into
my sleeping mind
the bleeding kind
the serene thoughts
deeply caught
fearlessly fought
tooth and claw
til he too was lost
fearfully sought
assistance from heart
a kindling to start
a fire to burn
a desire i deserve

i'm not okay
but it's easier to lie

last night
a drunk man spoke
"it makes sense
if you make sense
of the things i'm saying"
in the moment
i didn't understand
but now
oh but now
i still don't

keep those words inside
for fear that you might ruin
what's already yours

i cocked back and swung for the fences
you plunged your teeth into its neck
we would've fought to the death
to keep that sun from coming up

the stitches
a constant reminder
that fun turns to pain
a caricature of my life

my head is a lava lamp

It's like when you can't tell
if a light is on or
it's just reflecting off another source

i would say i felt in my soul
your words like a loaded gun
but i am a ginger..i don't have one

when i place everything that i am
and ever was and ever will be
into a blender, the terror in my bones
isn't born from pressing the button
but from dumping the contents out
for you to defenestrate.

under the stars
we fight
in silent wars
til night's
calmness warms
a light
to morning warns
it's almost done
but not until we dance as one
sleep tight

i hate seeing you
with them. we are good friends but
we should be best friends.

are you serious?
****?

i want you to have everything
i want you to have all the smiles
and all the laughs
i want to build you a bridge that stretch for miles
and a bird bath
i want to senselessly steal from children to give you everything you need
and write even happier endings to every book you'll ever read
i want to take from the needy to give you everything you want
and for people to call us greedy for the jewelry you flaunt
i want to give you everything from the east coast to the west
and everything outside of that but only the best
i want to wage war so all you'll know is peace
if my heart was a castle gate i would give you the keys
i want to place you high on a throne of golden bones
to ensure my arms are the only home you'll know

the curtains give this room an orange tint
I sit
cigarette lit
I told you I quit
but sleep soundly, on your pale moon,
as the second of two
bad habits I couldn't kick

i hate you.
for lack of a stronger word.

it's 12:22 am but shortly it'll be 12:23
story
of my life
nobody's gonna get it,
I don't give a ****.
that ones for me.

i want my hands to play
the role of the cradle to your cranium
while my lips play the protagonist
and yours will be the love interest
the conflict consists of lack of breath and sore jaws
five minute recess and then action

and so another night drinking alone
another reminder of a broken home
finding myself like a four leaf clover
i'm so ******* glad valentines day is over

continue to feel
but forget the words you hear
love is not real, fool

sometimes i've touched
sometimes i've felt
sometimes i've tasted
sometimes i've smelled
sometimes i hear
sometimes i feel
sometimes my mind plays tricks
sometimes it's real
sometimes you're never there
sometimes you won't leave
sometimes i'm a sceptic
sometimes i believe
sometimes it's blue
sometimes it's red
sometimes i've followed
sometimes i've led
sometimes i didn't have a clue
sometimes i knew
but one thing remains true
it's always you.

naIve
            Longing
           fOr something
    not eVen a lot
      just Enough
   i founD you
  or did You find me
  three wOrds i could never
              Utter again because you              
                                      kept them.