i dealt
you shifted
i fired, suspicious
the love you gifted
left dying and hidden

red light, tires screaming
rubber steaming off the pavement
keep dreaming or make a statement
that’s not what the witnesses are saying
she’s got a body like a sin
even witches started praying

if only i knew
how to play acoustic guitar
i’d wrap those strings
around the moon and the stars
i’d play and play
until my fingers were scarred
i’d sing and i’d sing
until my throat turned to tar
then maybe loving me wouldn’t be so hard
for you

a jealous shadow
from the dark side of my mind
creeps its way through the crevices
eager to remind me
that i’m not and never will be
worthy of your time
i’m just a filler for any other thing
the next to catch your eye

it’s just a guess, i guess
that’s how it goes, i suppose
i’m feeling older, older everyday
all this pain is here to stay
sit back and watch my brain decay
walls decorated with the frames
pictures of how we used to play
my back protests, my knees complain
dusty boxes all my toys are in
i’ll never be that boy again

the side ended and i let it
sit in silence and forget it
til death its me and my regrets
the tidal violence that i’m left with

no one tells you
no one warns you
that your brain
will outrun you

pin me down like a butterfly
dissect me and search but all you’ll find
behind my pendulum of chemical tides
is more grey skies and a fabergé smile
i will never be the porcelain me
you have in mind

i finally knew
why we never met
on the other side of the move

you packed the broom
while i packed the *****

an invasion against the sky
by the monoliths that rise
man is the tread that's evident
intricate prints of the heaven sent

but little to none have we ever known
of the schemes that steam our wins and woes
our dreams at night and oceans below
the fires that burn
the winds that blow

i lit my little candle
around noon upon the mantle
that's a simple rhyme
for a drunk like i am
even fools know how to gamble

happy as a clam
by the grace of god gotdamn,
you're still where i am

all my thoughts had gone to riot
so i set out to find some quiet
but even way behind the city’s lights
the silence here is not as bright

the roads are crowded with noisy cars
screams and hollers, the sounds of bars
pool tables, beer bottles, the music loud
relinquished solace in fiery cloud

despite the throbbing in my walking legs
my steady stalking refused to stay
and my soles engulfed in a blistering heat
could not stop me from seeing every street

cats in the trash and moths and bones
the racket i heard was mine alone

never felt this but i know every bone
in your hand. i’ll never let you be alone
again. hold me close, iced coffee in the cold
on a bench by a pond at a palace
you made Seoul feel just like home

your cold nose pressed to my cheek
as you kissed me in the street
i said
i’ll be with you for forty years, love
you said
i’m sorry, that’s not long enough

you can’t because you don’t try
you won’t feel the sky
eyes only for ghost lines
the way beauty cries
and wails from the sailing
of the birds and trees
and people in the street
of their lives and tales
they try and fail
and try again and win
the desires within
lovelorn or love scorned
head over heels or reborn
left behind or leading life
brilliant and serene
you dismiss this scene
with eyes of sleet
for a feed on a screen

this unyielding winter
splintered but inured
for the cold that reached inside me
is something i’ve endured

this unrelenting snow
blows shivers in my bones
but let this chill go thirty below
it’s a pain that i have known

spring will bring a harbinger
of warmth and sunny glow
but i’ll remain frozen in places
to thaw all on my own

the wind is whipping against frozen hands
snow drifts dance in snake-like bands
i reach into the cold to grip the flakes
that sift through my fingers and slip away

more beautiful than any soul i’ve ever known
pretty as the sun coming up over snow
praying to a sky that’ll listen when it’s cold
that mine could be the hand you hold