i pray i'm imagining things.
neurons firing, burning me.
the brakes on this freight car start to scream.
real life breathing into my dreams,
fanning the flames in the evergreens.
real pain where it's not supposed to be.

she smiled
but it didn't reach her eyes
the weight of gold
and everything else inside

the most precious stones
i've throw into the lake
to skip and wish to elevate
with nothing less than my love
as if that's ever been enough.

suspended in a deepening cold
incessant, never ending
seeping into my bones
you begged me to let you love me
but it's safer to freeze alone

I'm beyond me
Beating myself for being myself
And then beating me again

rigid skyline
crossed T's and dotted I's
that wink at the night
inspite of what i know is right
i accept the invite
and wake up in the afternoon
my pockets light