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collin Oct 2021
i tried to distinguish
all my awful feelings
from how i really felt

i tried to extinguish
the fire i spread
from the one i lit myself

ripping scar tissue
the scabs on my lips
are these just the cards i’m dealt?

am i the dealer?
do i need a healer?
or more concealer?
a realist with a fake smile
i’ve been in this dentist’s chair for a while
collin Oct 2021
i wanna die
straight up
earth undisturbed by me
paradise perhaps
i’ve search and can’t find
a solution more free
less expensive and freeing
thought the feeling was fleeting
but it’s diggin deep and planting seeds
it’s got feet
to stand on
unlike me
on my knees
the perfect ratio
of one death to one ****
don’t worry
i don’t think i really will
collin Oct 2021
daybreaks
as the fluids fade
i feel alone again
collin Oct 2021
every broken, filthy brick
this wall will fit
between who i think i am
and the worms and dirt and grit
collin Oct 2021
im sick of slamming
face first in drywall
crimson liquid dripping
now, my nose is a waterfall
those words ricochet without fail
when all you have is a hammer
everything looks like a nail.
collin Oct 2021
too sober to feel
too drunk to feel
no in-between
collin Oct 2021
bleeding out over a broken mirror
dissected reflection, here’s my deepest fear.
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