when i’m away from you
this ******
that i've had
waiting

with its wrapper edges
so neatly folded up
makes a good
ashtray

now, if only i smoked

in my dreams
every night
you visit me
like a silent thief
and enter
into my bed
into me

the ghost of your weight
fills me with the
heaviness of your soul

&
your weightless breath
blows me over
with the intensity
of a storm
brewing

i want to tell you
i love you
but the words
escape me
like a freed convict
who has disappeared into the night
leaving my feelings
arrested instead.

i do not understand
how three words
can be
hard as cement
and lay
stuck in my throat
like Excalibur
in stone
unable to be
pulled out,
even by you

i don't dare admit
my
feelings

i am an alcoholic
in denial
when it come to
how addicted i am
to you

i want to
stand in the sun
with you

i want us to live
out of hotels
off room service
have your arms be
my private bungalow
where I never dream afraid
only leaving to
feel the grainy sand
beneath our wet feet
and entwined nakedness

i miss our crooked summer sleep
you know,
the one where our limbs
sinew
to the point that
no one knew
whose limbs were their own
the one where
you cupped my breast
all night &
pressed against my back
with your breath
warming my neck
and turning me on
at
the
same
time

i want to stand
in the sun with you
& leave everyone else
standing in the dark
stench of everyday
let them be buried
beneath the hustle
of daily life

come
follow me
to a hideaway
where wrapped in each others arms
we’re free from limitations

our own private place


don’t you get it?
you’re my
island escape.

would you like to make love tonight
underneath the coolness of blue city lights
in the warmness of this dark room
where i might only kiss
you
till our lips can’t tell the kisser from the kiss
& our tounges entangle to become one
like the time all we did was kiss
here
we could begin to make love

would you like to make love tonight
while dizzy’s band plays the blues
you could hear it
& play  a melody of your own
with me in the warmness of this dark room
where i wanna make love
with you

darling give me your hands
place yourself inside my melody
till music flows from it
like running water & i
drown you with tunes so sweet
you sing my name
acapella

tell me
would you like to make love tonight
by the flicker of a candlelit flame
& have our shadows dance together
across the room
until we come
faster than the A train back to harlem

you know
ellington never played music
as sweet as mine

can you hear it?
wouldn’t you like to?
i’m playing it for you.

boys were fun
for a while

with their tousled hair
flopping freely
like wilted flowers
over eyes
that peered
just enough
through the cracks
at me
like a scared child
to make you want to go
and pull them through

boys were fun
for a while

kissing different ones
was like eating
an assortment
of creme filled chocolates
never knowing
what i was going to get
till the end

like an italian gelatto
on a hot day
some were
sweet & refreshing
while others
burned me
like bitter herbs
leaving a bad taste
in my mouth


& i
like a plant in the desert
freshly rained on
didn’t realize
how dry
my needs were
until i met you

now
i no longer
go out to play
cause
you placed
my expectations
so high
that
like a cat stuck in
the tallest tree
i’ve been unable to bring them
down since

late at night
when the moon is hanging
high in the sky
& the stars luminescence
gently caresses your face

i watch you sleep

in the silence of the room
where only the silence of your breath
can be heard

it is there
i watch you
while we lay
our limbs entwined
like ivy vines
i allow my hand
to forbiddingly touch your face
tracing
the suppleness of your brown lips
that carry the kiss
i wish to savor
like fine wine

while we sleep
we become entangled
in a web of sheets and satin skin
while your arms
bearing the strength of Sampson
cradle me gently & pull me close
my chin rests
in the cook of your neck
where i can smell
the scent of your sweet air
i close my eyes
hold you
& kiss you there
til morning comes
when you have to leave me
once more

what is this
tingle
between my
toes
that rises up
into shock waves
just from
your heat
and it’s
got me feeling some kinda way
****
you
for taking your words
and twisting them up
into my underwear
which mishappendly
fell to the floor
the moment you touched
me
and i swear i don’t know how
they got there
**** you
for making me remember
this feeling
i’m used to being so numb
that i have forgotten
how to react to feeling
this feeling some kinda way

****
you
for being here oh so late
but oh so on time