Every Sunday
we watch football together
& while we yell at the plays
I wonder,
when are you gonna let me
gain some yardage on you?

Every Sunday
You yell,
That fool could have scored!
& while I look at you
I say to myself
Yes, you sure could have by now,
but like that quarterback
you move too slow
I wonder,
why are we still playing
on separate teams
when we like the same game?

You’re such a fool

If only you knew
how badly
I'd like to tackle you
& convert these last 2 points
by letting you hang
Between my goal posts
rush my endzone
and make the best
touchdown of your life

Tell me,
Can we huddle?
Can we discuss
this repetitive play
we keep pretending
we aren't playing?

Meet me at the
50 yard line
Of your bed

Let's scrimmage
man

I keep thinking one day
I will be able to muster up the words
I love you
and say them
directly, to your real face


but until then
this photograph
will have to do
cause
in your presence
I stammer and stumble
over the simplest of phrases
leaving my feelings looking like
a drunken cad
walking down the street
with my words
staggering at my feet
unable to be put
one in front of the other
& finally me
ending with my heart
passed out at your doorstep
cause my sense of sobriety
always fails me
around you.

there's a memory of you
that lives
& breathes within me
like a good drug
it flows
through my veins

i remember you,
warm & brown
& how your supple lips
invited me to dine
every night
until about a quarter past 3

you my beloved
filled my summer nights
& days
to such an extent
that i still quiver
involuntarily

i remember

your lips
were the kind meant
for kissing
always
slightly parted
& beckoning a kiss
i wished i could
try out on myself
first
just to see
if it was good enough
for you

i remember you
artful dodger

do you remember me?

come here
you say

& i
resist

somehow
i always think

yes,
it's possible
to walk away

till i see you
waist deep
wrapped
only in a towel

standing
partially
dripping
wetting the floor
& me

how my feet
betray me

delivering myself
to you
i find myself
standing
in a puddle
beneath you

& for a brief moment
you stare
scooping my face
search me
with your lips
&
finally find
my want for you

who's to say what is
right?

i only know
the lack of your touch
is wrong
the absence of your lips
a sin
the space where
you used to lay
is now
hellishly
cold

wanting to know
if its for him
that i still feel
he throws out
a line or two
to see if i'll bite
as if i were a mackerel
& he a cape cod fisherman

sometimes
i am a small carp
on a fisherman's strong hook
stuck
& i'm reeled back in
effortlessly

other times
i'm a mako shark
i struggle
i pull
i run
almost dragging him
into the black water
to drown with me

but he fights
relentlessly
reeling harder & harder
eventually
wearing me down
pulling my feelings
with his poetic words
out from the
cold depth of which
they've been submerged

& yes love, i do
is all i can say
for
i am still
a fish
out of
water
left
breathless
by his mere
presence alone

& so you leave me
here
unable to kiss another
without
still tasting you
on the tips
of their tongues

we are an enigma
like a jigsaw
& i
am perplexed
by our movements
in this dance we do

its so
tango like

i run
&
you chase

until i turn
wanting to get caught
but you
pull back
the way a long distant
night waltzes
into obscurity
only deciding
to reappear
the next morning
yelling "wait!"
but
the track star
that i am
has sprinted
so far gone
with heart in hand
that i don't hear you

or at least maybe
i pretend not to

tell me
how long will we
continuously swerve
away from each other
like two cars colliding
too afraid of wrecking
each others emotional walls?

this waltz
in which we dance
around each other
has become
an unpragmatic
silent torment
to us both

lets meringue
or even bachata
baila
baila
conmigo now
spice it up a bit
lets salsa
come on
pull
me
close
cause at some point
all music changes
&
dances eventually
come to an end

you
are
the
exact
measure
to which
all others
fail
to
measure

today
i'm reminiscing
the way you smell
there
in the curve of your neck
where
i want to plant my nose
forever
cause your scent
makes me high
like a good joint

i could inhale
you
all
day
long

i may be jump starting
into a fast play here
but this ain't no ordinary game
i’m playing,
i ain't got no geechee tricks
up my sleeves
or a curve ball in sight,
with you
it’s just me and my straight pitch

so imma throw it to ya
like this

i’ve been traveling
across the court
waiting for you
to be wide open
for me to free throw
this to you

i love you
man

did you see that pass?
that shot i made
all the way
from half court?
you gonna
catch it &
come over here
slam dunk it
like i want you to
or let these words
rebound off your chest
like a third rate player
with uncoordinated hands?

cause right now
its the third down
in the last quarter
baby
& you still don’t see
how much yardage
you have gained
&
I'm still waiting
for you to
intercept me

dontcha know,
i wanna do
more than
just sack you?

but
don’t get it twisted
this isn’t some obsessed
lovesick fan
aching & destined
to show up
at your door
like a groupie
unannounced
cause
i’m not about to chase you
this ain’t track &
i don’t run after nothing
that can’t catch up to me
first

but ****, don’t you know
i’ve got words for you papi
like goaaaalllll
& oyeeee
i might let you play
in my centerfield
but only if you can come
kick it hard enough

i wanna know
how do you
wanna
play this game?

so they say
love
is better the second time around
&
its a lot like
going in for seconds
when you already know
how the first dish tasted
but
you just can’t get enough
so
you head back
for more

i wonder
if you’re as good
as my second plate
of saag paneer
i’ve been working on
for the last half hour
knowing i’m too full
to continue
but willing to stuff myself completely
for the sake of
feeling
complete
& utter fulfillment
of you

i hear
you say my name
and from your lips
it falls
like petals from flowers
landing
softly on my ears
every time