Here darling,
rest your neck on my knife
and I'll cut us both a slice of peace.

I cant take another day as a crumpled puppet on the floor
aching heart breaking
I can't take one second more
I am a pile of bones to gnaw on
a stump for disgusting fungus to grow on  
anger agony self pity its all a part of the misery that is feasting
I'm failing, my pathetic attempt at faking is wavering
there is no mistaking my weakness and day after day i come home to collapse like a husk
crying a fresh puddle upon dampened carpet
I know I can't take this anymore

**** me
ill go willingly
your smile is so lovely and suddenly you're stabbing me
allowing you to ****** me, and its alright that you're hurting me
It's the end of life and I can feel your knife
screams in the night and you can feel my fright
lips pressed to your hallow chest , you promised you'd love me best
its getting darker and blood drips like water
I can hear you cry, baby don't die
slowly filling with regret and my last breath you can never forget

I hope you're doing fine
I hope you're doing well
I crave you all the time
but I try not to dwell.

I'm not in love with you
And you're not the one for me
But I hope you crave me too
So the thoughts feel less lonely.

everything is so dead
even with my heart
rhythmically pounding
everything is so dumb
in bed motionless, staring at the ceiling
I listen to the beat of the booming world that is surrounding, its trying to revive me
everything is so ugly
I'm full of negativity and the glass is half empty
I'm not alive
how is it I'm still breathing

I remember
a child with no voice and my own ghostly face
it was a  game
like cops and robbers
and silently she played
in the woods
some place far away
but its not like she would have screamed anyway
memories shrouded and disguised to cope
but now I remember
it was a game and I was their toy

Towton Tall

A blanket is my castle this night
clay smear walls
Tears freeze my face to my arm
I crave a wound
to feel hot blood's warming flow
Deer nest in the deep ferns
curling tight and still
but this dawn death coils
around each snow-scrape

Light comes
Skies sicken

Those who live
Awake and rouse
Today snow will blanket the Rose
As we stand Towton Tall

on the outskirts I watch them mingle
like a wallflower, yet less beautiful
tears welling in my eyes
like the shallow end of the pool to play in, but never to fall into
a fake smile pasted upon my lips  
like drawn with permanent marker
lies like I'm fine or I'm okay
repeated time and time again
day to day
and memories like scars refuse to fade