in the same way
that a drowning man
wants air;

violently, desperately &
without reservation.

(That is to say)

I need you.

I like you in the morning
when you are just waking up;
still half asleep and
rough around the edges.

You can't quite remember
the person that you pretend to be
so,
(left with no other choice)
      you are the person that I love.

Slightly lost,
but full of potential.

the appropriate place
on this exam
to
explain to you the way
that my heart
stuttered in my chest
and my words retreated
when you bent over my desk,
in response to my upraised hand.

Surprised,
I found that suddenly
the only questions I had left
had little to do with History
and

Everything

to do with the way
your ***
looked in your jeans.

Divisions of these winding roads
only lead me closer to pain,
and every time I remember you,
all I remember is everything.

Visions of the frozen future
only punish me, drown me in vain,
now let me hear your cries,
for my cries are burning me in flame.

Passion to pen my rotten words
somehow diminish the sting in my eyes,
I have missed POETRY than you,
I have missed POETRY than you,
the TRUTH is a LIE.

but it is not your fault.
You are trying your hardest to
(re)capture my attention.

And despite my slight fascination with the
curve
of
your
mouth

I still find my mind wandering through
thoughts of the last person who sat across from me
trying to conjure up a smile,

and how quickly I walked away.

I am no poet, only poetic
who could never kiss the moon
in the evening twilight;
nor a man with a heart of roses,
to exude the fragrance of his love.

I am no poet, who can pen
profound mysteries about the past,
nor a man of beautiful promises
to be kept safe until the world is dust.

I am no poet, only poetic
who could never touch the souls
of every woman’s dreams;
nor a man with arms of a gladiator,
to protect her forever
from the shadows of her grief.

And as the sun sets in the horizon
from another blemished morning end,
resembles tears of thine eyes;
for my love for you, my majesty,
will never be enthroned
into your kingdom,
like when I am with you,
like I am to you,
my tongue speaks,
I am no poet, only poetic.

I was lost in this nameless island
and I could not find my way back home.
Sudden thoughts of mysteries
perplexed my mind;
how did I come here,
when I’m only about to love someone?

I wrote their names in the sand, indeed —
but it was only washed away
by the raging seas.
So then I realized,
it was the demise of all their love for me.

I walked the island —
and surrendered my heart in peace.
No one uttered those words
my ears ever wanted to hear,
so my tears could no longer be ceased.

When I’m about to **** my eyes
with the melancholic whisper of the breeze,
I suddenly found a starfish
beneath those ridging waves.

I was covered by contentment,
for I will never be alone anymore in this island.
So I ran towards her, to offer the warmth
she might had needed for years.

So lovely, so beautiful, so romantic,
I fell in the love all over again;
I felt something I could never explain.
I found the starfish beyond my solitude,
and hope she will be with me
until no more ends. 

Without doubts,
I decided to go nearer to where she was,
and took her away from the harmful water.
I was so happy,
now we are closer enough
to know each other better.

Is this really destined to happen?
I already begged for forgiveness
but still never forgiven.
I thought the water is harmful
so I took away what it owns,
and supposed that the starfish
would be glad if I would make her mine.
But suddenly, she just died.
 
When will I find complete happiness?
I thought I have already known
how to make everything stay with me,
but it only gave me loneliness again.
The starfish died because of me —
because of my selfish intentions,
I was so self-centered.

So then I realized,
the reason why people left me
even in the hardest battle in life,
and even I needed someone
when my laughter was outnumbered by cries.

Yes, every person I had — then vanished,
was just a reincarnation of the starfish.

You trace the
stretch marks on my hips
with your fingertips
silently challenging me with your eyes to
keep still.
I have not the concentration or the will,
and my fingers
find their way into your hair,
pulling you closer
and closer to me.

Until

the only distance between us
is the invisible ocean dividing
our souls from one another,
A distance that cannot be crossed by a simple
mingling of breaths.

And yet, we persist in these attempts,
too stubborn to admit that we are both
beginning to tire of swimming.

You say you are Different,
You say you act Different,
You say your thoughts are Different,
You say you Emphasize coz its what you are,
You say you Sympathize coz you Believe.
You say you Love coz you need it.
You say you feel coz You are human,
You say You Admire coz you See,
You say you Choose coz you wanted to
You say you listen coz you Hear,
and when in a crowd,
Dilemma comes in and,
You Are Different.

you told me I could tell you anything.

and from my tongue slipped chaos.

broken consonants, faulty vowels, damaged syllables.

from my heart slipped shattered feelings that cradled every word that was to be delivered to your sensitive ears.

I spoke unto you everything that was hidden.

I brought them back to life and served them to you on a platter so silver you can see my innocence fading from your eyes looking back at you as you stared in it.

and from my soul slipped trust.

and into your hands it entered.

and then I was safe.

you may not have understood.

but you listened.

and that was more than I could do for myself.