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 May 2014
rachel
I'm back again to write you another letter because my tongue continues to flounder as I attempt to tell you how wonderful you are and what you mean to me. It seems that words fail me when I need them most and I can only put them in a logical order to form sentences when I have a pen and paper in my hand and the moment is long gone.
You once told me that you had 'nothing to be vain about' and I swear to God, when I got home I wrote a two page long list of all the things you have to be vain about (but for some unfathomable reason aren't whatsoever.)
And the thing is, you say my name as though it's a precious thing and not merely a collection of syllables and a combination of letters. I know I probably don't deserve it but I can't convince you otherwise because you continue to see me through that **** rose tinted glass.
Despite all this and the fact that my name may be an antonym of yours, it doesn't stop me from loving you and loving you more.
 May 2014
rachel
NO BUT PLEASE, TELL ME WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THE PERSON I LOVE TELLS ME THAT THEY DON’T THINK THEY’RE GOOD ENOUGH AND THAT THEIR LAUGH IS ANNOYING AND THAT THEIR GRIN IS CROOKED, WHEN IN FACT IT’S THE BEST SOUND I’VE HEARD AND THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SMILE I’VE SEEN.
HOW DO I MAKE THEM SEE THEMSELVES AS I DO AND HOW ON EARTH DO I MAKE THEM REALISE THAT THEIR EYES ARE THE COLOUR OF FORESTS AND ADVENTURE AND NOT SIMPLY ‘GREEN’.
HOW DO I GET YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT I’M NOT GOING TO GET ‘BORED’ OF YOUR BABBLING AND THAT THE RANDOM QUESTONS THAT YOU COME OUT WITH AND THE STREAM OF SILLY FACTS ARE THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY AND NOTHING CLOSE TO AN IRRITATION.
HOW CAN I PERSUADE YOU THAT IT’S NOT FAIR THAT YOU’RE ALLOWED TO TRY TO CONVINCE ME THAT I’M BEAUTIFUL, BUT ALL OF THE COMPLIMENTS I GIVE ARE SUPPOSEDLY NAUGHT BUT LOVELY WHITE LIES.
(HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW)
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I could give you this ‘poem’ to try and explain exactly how I feel, but I’m sure you’d only end up telling me how ‘wonderful’ (or some other kind adjective) it is instead of discussing the fact that it sings your praises in block capitals and sentences so long you run out of breath. Because you’re like that. You’d rather see the good in everyone else and ignore all of that which lies in you. You’d rather put yourself down with a smile than realise the truth, and that is that YOU. ARE. DIVINE.
answers would be appreciated if you have them. thank you.

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