There is no shame or disgrace in exposing the deepest darkest corners of this spirit
In fact without the comradery of this family of artist surrounding our craft there would be no audience to appreciate the stylings of the soul.
Some may be timid and reserved, afraid of judgement
Lost in the image of perfection defined in another's eyes
Oh if only we as humanity were more approving and accepting of differences
We would have solutions to issues of the world
Cruelty would have no home here
We would all have the same dream of equality and love of thy neighbor.
It saddens this poet to see the pure evil displayed in this world
No matter what the cause or reasoning
Deep inside my prayer is for love
Love pure and strong
Love in the innocence of a child's heart
That can see no difference, that only can see love
Love like our creator has for us
Unconditional, unwavering
With each word I can give
I give all a piece of myself
Exposed and naked
I give it freely and in hopes that another can see and sympathize
or empathize or recognize a piece of themselves in my reflection.
Unable to stop, knowing if I ceased those thoughts and dreams
My being would also cease to exist

You say you are not the one for me
You say you will never be
Why are you the only person I can truly open  my heart to?
Why must it all be so complicated?
I feel the love you have for me, when we are near
Yet you push it away the moment it begins to surface.
Your fear of failure is poisoning what could be our own Eden.
You don't even realize either way we lose,
You lose me if I find another heart to actually want to be the one
You lose if you give in to us and it turns bad
But isn't the possibility of us turning out amazing so much better than none at all?
The more you break my heart, the more I yearn for you
I want to believe how I feel more than what you say
In this fictitious reality I have envisioned, you want me
You want nothing more than to be together
How do I separate my fantasy from what is real?
I can't let go completely for fear of losing every moment we share or may share
But I can't go on, teetering on the edge of this cliff
Some days feeling as if my feet are sturdy and the ground firm under my feet
To the next day feeling as if one small breeze will send me tumbling to my doom
I may be left with no choice but to cut loose the strings that hold me to you
Free my heart from you,
Free you from the guilt of knowing I feel more for you than you for me
It will not be easy, and it will be so very painful
But would I be doing us both a favor in the end?
For we all know old lovers just can't be friends

The conduct of my heart had been sentenced to solitary for what felt like an eternity.
Exposed to those who didn't cherish or deserve my love.
Every new prospect of hope was dangled in front of this broken soul only to be snatched away before made whole
Hunting endless miles for my prince charming

When all along I should have been seeking my King.
The moment my ears detected his voice
The second his eyes, like crystal blue waters of the sea, met mine
All inhibition left me and I found myself suspended in the joy that surrounded this damaged heart.
Peacefully and effortlessly I fell into his arms
Though it may all be new in this world of time and space
The feeling is so familiar as if we have been connected since the beginning of it all

Joined on a deeper level that what is physical
On a spiritual plane of reality in which only we exist
Relishing in every touch
Savoring every kiss
Occupying this dream of desire
Craving to be close to him
Sharing life's breathe

His caress has set the caged bird free
His divine spirit has removed all pain of the past.
Captivated by every word that escapes his lips
Mesmerized by the delicate nature he takes with me
Inspiration thrives now that I have found him

If we are constantly seeking something better
Searching for the next best thing
How will we ever be able to enjoy the grass under our own feet?
Seems that no one is content with the blessings of today
The world moves faster, technology takes over
The ability to connect with others all over this world in the blink of any eye has caused us to put on blinders
Why stay, why work at a relationship?
When with the click of a button there are endless options at your disposal.
Made so easy by society to ignore the soul
So easy to be shallow and see only the surface
Never taking the time to dig a little deeper
To truly know someones heart
Raising the next generation with these delusions of grandeur
Losing site of the morals and values of the past
Waiting for the next to exceed the present
Wasting away never completely satisfied
Locked away in a mirage of importance

Wake to the soothing sound of waves crashing against the warm sand
Feeling the sunlight gently kiss each eyelid
Naked skin caressed by the silken cotton sheets as she tosses to motivate consciousness
No rush to rise, no tasks to perform today
No Burden of this dying world weighing on her heart
Able to capture every moment as a Polaroid in her memory
Coffee brewing fills her senses
A grin develops across her face much to her bewilderment
Hours spent in frivolous conversation
Strolling along the waters edge aimlessly
Ice cold drink resting by her side
Company of the one who's been a constant through this wild and crazy ride
Peace fills her once empty heart
Napping together, sleepy yet unable to keep her skin from merging with his
Whispered secrets soft and low
No place to be , to where to go
Truly living in the moment

Eyes open wide
Closed for so long the light brings them pain
Took the risk knowing the odds were against me
Left to ogle at the selfish face of mankind
Unable to grasp how causing another discomfort can provide you such pleasure
Running through each encounter in my mind
Trying to see the missed warning signs
Unable to fathom such evil
How many lessons must one spirit endure?
Before it resides to solitude
Disconnecting from the world
Rebuilding the fortress that once protected her heart
Still in the end
Better off to be lonely than in agony
Better off to no longer be the victim
Better off being free

My own worst enemy is residing inside my rib cage
She fights and tears at the flesh to escape her prison
Throbbing and pounding blocks out all sound from the outside world
With every social encounter a blinder is applied to all negative
She blinds the brain and takes over all senses of the body
Desperately searching for kindness and acceptance in the face of evil
She can transform the most gruesome, slithering, conniving demon into an angel of mercy
Her gift is her never ending curse
She plunges recklessly into the shallow waters, drowning, waiting for a savior to provide her breathe
A ravenous ache settles deep with in her soul
The objective of her existence is to locate devotion of another
Regardless of how many times she is trampled to the ground in the process
A gluten for her own punishment
Continuing to open the wound and pour salt in it, as soon as any sign of healing has occurred.
Forever seeking solace in another is her affliction
Fabricating false hope in each new encounter
Composing the tragedy of her own demise
Analyzing every flaw, every imperfection
Tormenting herself over and over
Until her body is rendered motionless
Numbness sets in
Allowed to reside for a stint
Until she is entrapped by another devil
Doomed to continue this cycle

Contrary to what society has bread the world to perceive
There is no privilege set to any human born to this earth
There is no just reward for the righteous here
There is no slumber for the fatigued souls
There are no streets paved with gold
Some may claim all the wealth and worldly goods
Yet death comes to all and no wealth can abstain it
The toil of each day falls on us all
No matter the color, the size, or shape of the mass
Gravity pulls us equally, discriminates against none
Dare to bare your soul
Which knows no boarders or limitations
Dream to walk together in heaven along a jeweled path
Where the limitations of earthly existence hold no sway
Bask in the light of the only true gift
Let love be your professor
Let the spirit guide your every movement
Search your very essence to discover your talent
Each individual has so many, if only society would allow it to be shown
Shown with out fear or rejection
Free to be what our creator intended.

As I walked sullen and slow down the path that my life had become
Always looking down at the dirt below my feet
Never stopping to notice the sun or the smell of spring flowers
Sluggish and unresponsive to life happening around me
Swiftly fate pulled my legs from under my body and left me bewildered
Out of my own imagination he came
Unlike any other soul I had ever encountered
Showing himself at precisely the perfect moment in time
Bringing me the most treasured gift in creation
The prospect of hope, the light behind the eyes of a kindred soul
Words hold no comparison to the feeling he invoked
This almost recognizable stranger had woke me from the slumber of depression
Indescribable how breathtaking life's twists and turns are to the heart
One moment at the end of her rope, now on top of the world
Permanently floating on cloud 9
Where time no longer exists and the past is a faint dream
The glare of the morning light brings dreams of the future
Cherishing every small second
Living for once in her life, not just existing in this world
Inspired to create masterpieces
With an endless supply of emotion to use as her pallet

When no one else is around
Count on her when you are down
She is the best seat filler in town
A warm body to take up the empty space
Always available, always ready for someone to use her
Never plan A
Always up for replacement
Wearing her heart around her neck
Like a noose or a leash
Waiting for the next puppet master to pull her strings
Sweet and funny, happy when shes around you
But inside she is dying, decaying
Because she knows what she is
She knows that the seat filler will all she can ever be with you
Why not her?
Why not her heart?
Is it that easy to watch her self destruct
That easy to push the ignition button without blinking an eye
Don't play dumb, or ignorant
You know what it does to her
But instead of letting her go, you keep her at arms length
Yearning, aching for a little more
Praying wishing that one day
One fine, beautiful moment you would see
All she wants is to be season tickets

Right or Left
Up or down
Too many choices for the weak willed
No one to do it for you
No one to show you which path is safe
Uncertainty is your nightmare
Bound to a turntable of opportunity
Spinning so fast you don't have time to grab anything that you may want
Dizzy from distractions of this empty universe
Your mind is flooded with options
Every minute a new one surfaces
New what ifs
You are so lucky, but have no clue that you hold something so priceless
You have already attained it but don't know how to truly see it
An apparition of a possession so valuable that the owner can not even prevent it from harm.
Fool to believe that it could be safe with you
Wasted hope, tortured wishes
Your apprehension to choose has left holes in this option
Left emptiness where once was fate.
Take your time
Choose wisely
For the choice of mine is no longer yours

I want perfection
I want that moment where our eyes meet
and neither of us can break the gaze
where our souls open to one another
like buds thirsting for the rain
where I see eternity, endless infinity
expand and share their secrets
from within you and know in that instant
that you see the same in me
I want that perfection of recognition

I want perfection
I want a shared empathy
an effortless telepathic connection
to feel that golden thread that links
all my chakras with all yours
I want to wake thinking of you
to drift into sleep doing the same
to know this is true for you too
and to meet even in our dreams
I want that perfection of synchronicity

I want perfection
I want to explore your body
to marvel at its complete perfection
even though you believe it imperfect
I want you to marvel too
at the perfection you see in this body
although I know it to be far short
I want to be consumed in mutual lust
to burn with your tastes sounds and smells
subsuming our senses into one another
I want that perfection of sensation

I want perfection
I want to run and work and sweat with you
to experience the joys of music, of performance
to travel with you to places of wonder
to inspire your creativity
to be inspired by you in every way
to reach new heights as yet undreamed
to remain forever grateful
for the gifts of your love
I want that perfection of complementarity

Cynthia Pauline Jones 4th May 2015