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 Jul 2014
SG Holter
Boot to shovel, I dig through
Dirt. Piling up beside me:
Disappointment.
Abandonment.
Bitterness.
Having been taken for granted.
Betrayal.

The stench stirred up
Smells like remains.
Mine, I suppose.
But I keep digging.
Under sun and moon.
There is something there,
Underneath it all.

Something of worth.
Something that'll take me
Somewhere I need to be.
Under the dirt, with worms
And dead dinosaurs,
I hope to hear
Iron against something other

Than soft, spineless soil.
Six feet down I surrender and
Emerge; shovel for ladder,  
Covered in sweat and bile.
Nothing gained.
No gold, no treasure
Other than

What's more golden than gold; a
Big enough hole to
Bury my disappointment.
Abandonment.
Bitterness. Having been taken for
Granted, and betrayed.
Then walk. Shovel shouldered.

Whistling.
 Jul 2014
SG Holter
Was all I spent on us wasted?
Every gravel-eyed morning
After another sliver of
Night's sleep,

Every hour hitting frozen
Fingers with a frozen hammer
In the perpetual winter-dark
City blizzards

While you slept?
I worked up a small fortune
To take us to where we
Almost got.

Was all I spent on us wasted?
Effort. Support. Selflessness.  
Time. Time. Time. Oh,
I learned nothing.

I'll give myself again. Be used and
Discarded again.
If either one of the smiles
I made you smile

Was a waste, then all
I did for anyone else
Was too.
I want more than most.

I need so much
Less
Than
You.
 Jul 2014
nivek
breathe your allocated breaths
gently into space
touch softly your surroundings
and expand peace
 Jul 2014
SG Holter
Clouds like ice on water
Shield holding heat

Between the ground and
Itself

Car is here for the
Container

I am the cold mouthful of
Coffee I throw on a smoking

Sigarette **** on the
Concrete, remembering

Back home
Back then

It was you who decided when
The break was over

So it never was a
Break

It was a laidback lifestyle
Always between two

Achievements
Until remaining

Stationary got too much
For your young, impatient side

(That always dragged us down
Into infantility)

I loved your all, but that part
Being gone with the rest of

You, is the silence after a
Container-car having sqreeched

Tons of metal along tarmac,
Then hoisting,

Then driving off, making room
For another quiet

Coffee
Break.
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